Tag Archives: hair brush

117. The Stick of Truth, Part I (A Discipline Trilogy)

truthstick

This event occurred two weeks ago, but I needed some time to better reflect and reconcile this before I was comfortable posting about it.  I want to share a lot of the details, so will need to break this up into more than one post.  

Last week, before their Orlando trip, on a day when Mike was at work I overheard Kayla talking to a friend on her phone and she let several expletives fly.  Cussing is not allowed, and something we addressed with Kayla before (Post 102.Sharing Salacious Spanking Stories and Post 105. Potty Mouth).

I gestured to Kayla that she needed to get off the phone and she mouthed “Yes M’am” and told her friend goodbye.  I immediately recalled Mike’s instructions to me if she were to cuss again and he was not home.  I was to repeat the punishment he gave her, and then he would administer another when he got home.

We were both already naked, as we are apt to be on a school day, so I had her immediately bend over and I spanked her several times by hand.  I then recalled that Mike spanked her with his belt, and since he asked me to repeat his punishment, I felt that the belt was necessary to be compliant with his orders.  So, I stopped and told her to go get one of his belts and return to me.  She soon returned.  I don’t know how many Mike actually was expecting, but I thought 20 was about right, so that’s what I gave her.

I then had her follow me to the bathroom and did a soap punishment akin to what Mike did previously.  I then talked to her about what Mike had said the last time she cussed.  He said that the next time she cussed he wouldn’t just have her rinse with water.  He said that if she had a potty mouth, he would treat it as a potty, which clearly meant piss, although he didn’t use that word.   I mentioned before that this wouldn’t violate any hard limits Kayla has (or that I have), but I really have a hard time with being part of that kind of punishment. For me it crosses a line from submissive to humiliation.  I talked to Kayla about it and while she had reservations, she said she was prepared for whatever Mike had in mind.  I did not share the same thoughts.

LET ME TELL MIKE
I told her I was tempted to not tell Mike and just let this go.  She was quick to remind me we both were punished before for “conspiring” to break a rule (109.  The Tuck. The Spank. The Slumber) and keeping this from him would be a major no-no.  I told her I just don’t want to be part of whatever Mike has in mind if he follows through with what he said – and I was certain he would follow through.   

I told her I didn’t like the idea of keeping it from him, but I disliked what was in store for her more.  She tried to reassure me that she could handle it and wouldn’t feel humiliated. She said she feels she is Mike’s, and will do whatever he commands, short of her hard limits.  Her hard limits are simply no scat, no blood, and nothing that she feels could cause scaring or injury.  I know Kayla is up for just about anything, and it seems so dumb of me to object, but I couldn’t help what I was feeling.

TO DRINK, OR NOT TO DRINK?
I suggested we read up on the topic.  I laughed when I came across a biblical reference that some use to support the practice of drinking urine.  Proverbs 5:15 says “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.”  While I would interpret that passage differently, it is no more a stretch to read more into that passage than how many people creatively interpret other passages to justify their actions.  Biblical or not, apparently urine is 95% water and has no medicinal value nor health effects- but I am not so sure how thorough this has actually been studied.  And what Mike was inferring was simply rinsing — but still — for whatever reason, I object.

I shared with Kayla that I was also concerned with her ever escalating submission.  We talk frequently about this and she reminded me that in her mind her submission is not “ever escalating.” In her mind it is Mike’s dominance, and somewhat mine, that is needing to escalate to match her desires.  Thus far I do feel confident that Kayla is not taking on anything she can’t handle, and everything to date has seemed to help her and she is happy, energized, and fulfilled.  I just don’t want that to change or want to move too fast.  She is not even two months into this lifestyle. 

She reassured me that she could handle this and that she would not hesitate to use her safe word to put a stop to any action she was concerned with.  She was very firm in her conviction.  She said she truly accepts her complete surrender to Mike and in her words, “Negotiations ended with the contract.”  Whether she liked the idea of this particular punishment or not, she finds it abhorrent to not obey.  I have to give her credit for her commitment and submissive mind set as these were the strongest words she has used thus far to explain her mind set.  None-the-less, I still asked her not to say anything to Mike as I wanted an opportunity to talk to him first.

It was normal that when Mike got home from work that one of us, usually me, would follow him to the room and talk with him while he changed.  I often use that time to tell Mike about events of the day including any punishments that Kayla earned that day.   Just in case I was in the middle of something and it was going to be Kayla that walked with him to the room, I asked her to not to bring up the cussing incident and let me talk to him about it later.  Well, sure enough, when Mike came home I was helping J with something in his room and Mike had already asked Kayla to follow him.

KAYLA SPILLS THE BEANS
Kayla tried to accommodate my request, but just couldn’t keep it from Mike.  I wasn’t there, but this is how it was explained to me.  It started off with Kayla telling Mike that there was an “event” that occurred where I had to punish her but that I wanted to talk to him about it first.

In hindsight I agree that was appropriate for Kayla to say.  She wasn’t trying to keep anything from Mike and was just letting him know that I preferred to talk to him about it first.  Mike could have simply told Kayla to spill the beans, or simply said fine, he would talk to me.  But, no self respecting Dom would do that.  No, Mike saw the opportunity to make a point with Kayla.  

He asked Kayla why she thought he should talk to me first.  Kayla said that I wanted to discuss the punishment I gave her so that anything he added to it would recognize what she already received.

He asked her what she did.  Kayla said, “Ma’am wanted to be the one to tell you, Sir, but since you asked, I will still tell you if you still want me to.”  She was trying to meet her commitments to Mike while not disregarding what I asked her.

Noticing that Kayla was uneasy, Mike decided to escalate her uneasiness and asked her what she thought about my request.  Kayla admitted that she did not like it and added, “I want to tell you everything and will tell you everything but Ma’am asked me to allow her to be the one to speak with you first so I agreed.  Of course, now that you know her request, it is up to you and I will tell you everything if you wish.”

Mike continued with his questions.  “How do you think Jen would feel if you just told me all about it?”  Kayla said, “I think she would be disappointed because she thinks it would be better for everyone if she gets to explain things, but, I also know she would understand that I needed to answer you.”

Mike then asked, So, Kayla, do you think it would be better for everyone to have her explain it to me first?”

Kayla: “No, Sir, it would not be better for everyone.” 
Mike:  “Would it be better for you?”
Kayla:  “No, Sir, it would not be better for me.”
Mike: “Would it be better for me?”
Kayla: “No, Sir, it would not be better for you.”
Mike: “Would it be better for Jen?”
Kayla: “Yes, Sir, it would be better for Jen as that is what she wants.”

Mike continued, “Do you believe that in order for me to trust you that you should tell me everything, without filters from Jen or anyone else?”

“Yes, Sir, I should tell you everything.” she replied.

“Do you believe you are fulfilling your commitments to me by withholding something simply because Jen asked you?”

“No, Sir, I am not fulfilling my commitments when I withhold something from you, no matter what the reason.” Her lips began to tremble as she felt she was stuck and let Mike down and was also letting me down. 

Mike recapped, “So Kayla, you would risk my losing trust in you by withholding something from me simply because Jen asked.  Even though you felt it would not be better for everyone, you still agreed to have Jen tell me instead of you?”

Kayla said, “Sir, I didn’t agree to withhold anything.  I simply agreed to allow her to be the one to talk to you first, and I said now that you know what Ma’am wanted, it is clearly still up to you and I will gladly tell you if you just ask.”

Mike responded, “You didn’t answer my question.  It is a yes or no question.  Would you risk losing my trust by withholding something from me, yes, or no?”

“No sir, I would not risk that,” she replied. 

Mike then added, “So not only did you risk that, but you also went against your own judgement that this was not better for everyone.   Is it that your commitment to tell me everything is unimportant to you?” 

“No, Sir, all my commitments are very important to me, especially that one.”
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Mike then asked, “And what again does that particular commitment say about what you are to share with me?

Kayla quickly answered, “Sir, I am to share everything, my day, my thoughts, my doubts, my desires.”

“Does it say that you only share them if I ask you?”

“No Sir, I share them without asking,” she again quickly answered. 

“Then do you agree you failed in your commitment by waiting for me to ask you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Yes, Sir, what?”

“Yes, Sir, I failed in my commitment to you”

Mike ordered her to undress, go to her room, and stand in the corner and he would be in there when he finished changing.   He soon came into her room and had her bend over. He lubed up and inserted an anal plug, then he attached the “three clamps.”  This is a clamp for each nipple and one for the clit, connected by a chain.  He told her to lay on her bed and he cuffed her wrists to the bedpost above her head.  He also put the ball gag and a blindfold on her.  He gave the chain a few tugs and said he would return after he had his dinner.  Mike never asked her anything about what earned her punishment or why I asked to to be the one to talk to him first.  

Mike came to dinner and said Kayla wasn’t feeling well and was resting in her room.  I could tell there was more to it and that this explanation was for J’s sake. 

More on my next post!

NEXT:  The Stick of Truth, Part II

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95. Much ado about…spanking!

embellish

You’ll understand the image I chose when you read the post.  It seemed to fit, except for one part of the quote.  If there are any theorists of written discourse among you, perhaps you could enlighten me as to what Blair meant by “masculine.”  I digress.

Hankerin’ for a Spankin’
With a lot of our attention (and my posts) on Kayla lately, it dawned on me that I haven’t been spanked in a while.  I’d like to chalk it up to my impeccable ability to achieve all that I commit to.   I’d like to chalk it up to that, but I can’t.  Frankly, it’s been a combination of just being in a good groove and a bit of latitude by Mike.

Overall on a strictness scale I’d say Mike had been an 8-9 for some time now as I urged and encouraged him to be strict as I was seeking greater submission.  However recently I’d put his strictness at about a 6.  I am not stating this as a critique – it would be inappropriate for me to be scoring Sir on his choices of punishments.  I don’t make it a practice of keeping “score” as it is completely up to him.  I only share this as a way to convey to you, the reader, what I am feeling and experiencing regarding Sir’s strictness.  I felt it necessary to clarify that in light of what this post is going to address.

I really enjoy my submissiveness and have grown to find a lot of satisfaction in structure and expectations, including being highly accountable to that structure in the form of punishments.  I’ve evolved from just living a lifestyle of Domestic Discipline to living the lifestyle of a submissive.   I have even wondered if I should change the name of my blog to reflect more about my life as a submissive vs DD?    I digress again.

I spoke with Mike and he agreed he has been a bit lax and said he would remedy that.  The reason for this post is to share a recent event where Mike took my request for greater strictness and applied it in an unexpected way.  The result was a spanking and as part of the punishment he wanted me to post about it.  Thus, the reason for this post.

I’ve been untruthful in my posts!
I’ve been untruthful!?!   Okay, those are Mike’s words, at least how I heard them.  In my words I sometimes simply “reorganize the facts” so as to more effectively convey what happened.

Here’s what happened.
Mike doesn’t regularly read my blog but will sit down and catch up in one reading. He recently did this and he made an observation.

What I heard Mike say was, “You’ve been untruthful in your posts!”  This assertion really hurt me and my defenses immediately went on high alert.  Pre-DD such an accusation would have certainly caused a big argument.  While I didn’t yell or use profanity, I still lost it, at least on the scale that my DD rules would call “losing it.”  Part of my response was, in a not so nice tone, “You’re crazy and you are wrong.  I strive to be truthful at all times, including my blog.  Name one thing that was not factual?”

Mike responded, “Whoa, watch the anger and sass!”

“Well SIR, if you dare to question my honesty you are going to get some sass.  I am just defending what I believe to be true and am offended you think I’ve been untruthful.”

“Oh,” said Mike, “how dare I?  So, I can’t calmly question you without you being offended?  I didn’t question this in an accusatory way.  I simply said I found that some of your posts embellished or told the story in a way that was different from how it occurred.   We can have a calm discussion about it so I can better understand why, or you can argue.  You chose that latter.”

Yes, he didn’t actually use the words, “You’ve been untruthful in your posts.” However, that is how I interpreted his words and thus reacted defensively.   I apologized to him for overreacting  and again said that such an accusation is so abhorrent to me that I couldn’t control my reaction.   Mike said he would address this lack of control soon enough, but wanted to have a discussion about the blog first.

Mike went on to point out some various parts of different posts that were not “entirely accurate.”  The specifics examples he gave aren’t important, but, yes, he was correct. Some of the things I post are not entirely accurate.

What?  Untrue you say?
Yes, some events as I portrayed them were not precisely as they occurred – nor will they be in the future.  I write to portray what happened as succinctly as possible – and if you read my posts, I probably am not as succinct as I could be.  So here is my confession to you:

  • Yes, I admit I don’t always recall the words verbatim.  I do recall the impact of what was said, so I may choose words to more succinctly and accurately describe that impact.
  • Yes I choose to omit parts of the exchange that I feel are not relevant to the event, emotion, or revelation that I wanted to share.
  • Yes, I sometimes even change the order of events because it makes it more coherent for you, the reader.
  • Yes, sometimes I add some of the “unspoken” things that I know were intended, otherwise, what I write could be confusing. There are times something gets said that is in reference to an earlier exchange.  It is entirely unnecessary for me to share the entire earlier exchange just to give the reader the context for that reference.  Instead, I’ll find a way to give that context within the dialogue I choose to write.  It isn’t intended to mislead.  It more effectively communicates my experience and it is my experience that I am wanting to share.  Not a verbatim recitation of every second of a given experience.
  • Yes, sometimes when I or someone speaks they may not articulate the full meaning in a given statement and I may rewrite that statement so that you can better understand the impact of what they said or did.

There is some artistic license that is necessary when sharing any story – and, this blog is about my perception of the world around me.  Our perceptions will naturally filter certain elements of “the truth.”  Two people can see, hear, or feel the same event differently.  That doesn’t make them untruthful when they recount the event.  Everything I state is truthful in that it reflects my reality.   I believe as long as I am accurately describing the intent, emotions, reactions, or impact of a situation, I am being authentic, if not truthful.   Come on, do I really remember every strike of the paddle, ever thrust of the penis?  No, but  I can convey those emotions in a way that allows you to better feel them as I did.

Much ado about nothing.
And what was Mike’s reaction after I was able to calmly explain myself in the manner I just explained it to you?

“Oh, okay.  That makes sense.”

Doh!   It was all much ado about nothing.  Unfortunately, because I couldn’t control my temper and reacted the way I did, I still got a spanking.  I accept that.  One of my mantras is to seek to understand before being understood.  If I would have simply taken the time to understand where Mike was coming from, I could have then given my explanation and this would have been an uneventful and soon forgotten conversation.  Instead, it resulted in too many to count with the hairbrush!   Ouchy!  But delightfully so.  It had been too long between spankings!

At least it gave me something to post about other than Kayla!  My plan was to share the events of her first spanking – it is quite a story that needs no embellishing!   Perhaps next time.

NEXT:  96.  Kayla’s first. . .