Three weeks since posting and IMHO I have a good reason. Simply put, nothing much was going on. It was three weeks of a routine Domestic Discipline household. I have been very good with my Duties and Obligations and, while I don’t keep track of this, I believe I’ve gone my longest time without a punishments. In the past, if ten or so days went by with no spanking, I would end up asking for one (Maintenance spankings help, but aren’t enough). I shared such “mercy” spankings before such as in Post 126 and Post 42.
This time was different. Fulfilling my duties and obligations was fully satisfying and I did not feel a yearning for a spanking. I can’t fully explain why that is. If I could put my finger on it I’d certainly try and bottle it for future use. I think it is just how life works sometimes. You just get in a positive grove that feeds on itself. Just like there are times you might get in a negative rut that feeds on itself.
At the same time I’ve been in this groove, Kayla has completely settled into her submissive/slave routine. She seems to have found the level of submission she has been seeking (and it’s much deeper than mine). She too hasn’t been yearning for more and more. I credit Mike for a lot of this as he has been extremely responsive to Kayla’s needs. I know for some this sounds like a violation of the M/s principles, but to each his (or her) own. I believe for submission to work it has to start with the submissive. The submissive must achieve a level of submission that delivers them emotional prosperity. That prosperity is facilitated by the Dom, but can’t be dictated by the Dom. Of course, I don’t mean to state this in absolutes. I am sure there are different dynamics that work fine for other D/s, or M/s relationships. But for me personally, it is an absolute.
So while I have gone some time without a spanking, Kayla can’t say the same — but she is very happy with that. She has many more Duties and Obligations and is precisely held to them. Even her Duties and Obligations include acts that to me, are punishments. With Kayla in her own “positive groove” and with me in mine, well, there just hasn’t been much to share you with. Until now!
I was having lunch with some girlfriends of mine – 5 to be exact. An old high school friend and her sister, a former co-worker and one of her close friends (so a friend of a friend), and a friend I met years ago through someone else. These are all non-kink girlfriends, as in, platonic, “normal” friendships with other women. We probably get together four or five times a year. Beyond that, it is Facebook, Twitter, and texting.
We got together recently and the topic of sex came up. Now I said these were “normal” friends, and I don’t know about you, but us girls talk about sex. Not overly graphic, mostly innuendo, humorous type references, but sex none-the-less. One of them has a husband who just turned 50 and someone asked her, “So, what’s it like sleeping with a 50 year old?” That turned the conversation to sex. I made some comment and someone jokingly said, “What would you know, Mike’s not 50.” My snarky come back was, “Well, who said I was talking about Mike?”
I knew the moment the words came out of my mouth that I had done a “no-no.” There was a fleeting moment where I thought I should just laugh and tell them I was kidding and that would be that. So in that fleeting moment what did I say?. “Oh wait, no, he is under 50 also.”
I don’t know what compelled me to say such things. I believe, in part, it is the fact that I am not ashamed of my lifestyle and in fact, am grateful for it. Another part is that I was riding a wave of contentment – that “positive groove” I mentioned earlier. Whatever the motivation, I said it, and there it was. I just told them I slept with someone other than Mike.
This, of course, led to questions. Again, instead of ending it all as simply a silly joke, I answered them honestly. I did show some discretion. I didn’t give names, but ultimately shared that Mike and I have swapped and had foursomes and continue to do so. What I shared with them basically dealt with our relationship with John and Donna, but I never named them. I didn’t reference anything about our relationship with Kayla, domestic discipline, or submission.
Their reactions were pretty cool. They were inquisitive, jovial, and even supportive. If they were judgmental, shocked, or even disgusted, they hid it well. Anyway, this isn’t about their reaction. It is about Mike’s.
Of course I told Mike that I told them. He got upset. We agreed that any decisions to share anything about TTWD would be made mutually – it is even stated in my DD contract. Mike knew that I am fully aware of this as it is not some vague item in the contract that we’ve forgotten about. We’ve talked about this issue before, such as when I wanted to tell Kayla or tell my sisters about TTWD. Mike felt I boldly and blatantly chose to ignore my Duties and Obligations under the contract. Moreover, even if the contract didn’t exist it was very discourteous of me to share this with anyone without discussing it with him.
Mike said that this was more than just me not doing some act of service that I agree be responsible for. It was more than disobeying or disrespecting him. In his mind it was a total disregard of his privacy. For that, I would be punished.
I knew I shouldn’t have told them and I knew there would be a punishment in the offing. I wasn’t prepared for how significant a punishment it was going to be. After the punishment I shared in Post 131, it seems like perhaps when I fail, I fail big! This was another big one. The fact I didn’t anticipate it also made it a bigger deal.
The punishment is over, but suffice to say my nipples are raw, my ass is sore (inside and out), and I still have a lingering bad taste in my mouth. I’ll share the details on my next post. SPOILER ALERT. As always, it has a happy ending! And I don’t mean that in the cliche euphemism of “happy ending.” Although I guess in some ways it was happy in that way too. Hee hee. Oh, the life of a submissive!