Tag Archives: grief

195. In Memoriam

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Mike’s mom passed away.  He lost is dad to start this year, and now his mom as the year comes to an end.  It was unexpected with his dad, and while not a complete surprise with his mom, we thought we would still have three or four more months.  

Suffice to say the mood has been somber, and Mike has had much to deal with regarding settling the estate.  It has put a bit of a damper on things.  D/s has sort of been put aside.  Kayla and I continue to serve him, but there is not the same energy or vibe.  He has not had the energy or interest in discipline, not that we’ve given him much in terms of behaviors he would normally need to address.  He dismisses the “minor” things and says, “Please don’t do that again, I really don’t want to deal with that right now.”  That actually hurts more than a spanking.   

We did get to meet Michaud as he attended the funeral and other gatherings.  Although the circumstances were not conducive to really getting to know him,  by all accounts he seems to be a great boyfriend for Kayla.  And yes, they did “consummate” their relationship. 

Things were slowly getting back into a normal routine.  It’s strange but I actually miss being naked most of the day.  I have stayed clothed because our middle son was home several days, and lots of people were coming and going.   And just about the time that was lessening and the bits of the normal routine were returning, Thanksgiving week is  upon us.  So, my naked hiatus and toned down D/s will extend about another week. 

Thanksgiving will be a little less festive, although Mike’s mom gave us all strict orders to have a joyful holiday.  There was a lot of honor, respect, and love in her last week.  Lots of meaningful conversations on what she wanted for everyone once she was gone.  

She had no conflicted thoughts, no panic, no fear.  She just exuded joy in her last weeks and days, and in return, so did others.  Everyone was focused on sharing joy, and on how what we did and said impacted her.  This made for a beautiful farewell.   

That’s how it should be.  That’s how I’d want it to be.  But it had an unintended consequence.  With everyone focused on celebrating her life, on squeezing every ounce of joy from every second that remained, it meant no one was really thinking about her passing.  Once she was gone, it was as if she died unexpectedly.  That crescendo of joy was now just empty silence.    

NEXT: 196.  This, That, and Some Other Stuff