Tag Archives: esoteric

338. Jen, just shut up already!

338
This is my last post. . . .

 

talking about my hiatus!  lol.  

Gotcha!

Of course, I am going to keep blogging!  I am too into me to stop!  There’s plenty of domestic discipline debauchery to dole out to you  – at a slower pace.  It’s just that I had an epiphany that helped me understand what I think was at the core of my lack of motivation to blog.  And that realization has actually helped increase my interest in blogging again.  

SEEK TO UNDERSTAND BEFORE BEING UNDERSTOOD
In the past, I couldn’t wait to write about a blogworthy topic that popped in my head.  Now?  Meh.  In a prior post I shared reasons behind the multi-month respite and slower pace of blogging.  But recently I came to realize there was another reason, a more compelling and powerful reason than what I previously stated.

I’ve always been a bit of a loudmouth, quick to share my thoughts about any topic.  You’d think I would have been an awful guidance counselor, but I behaved differently in a clinical setting.  I was good with the open-ended questions to help people “find their truth” or reconcile some internal conflict.  But I’ve always been quick to share what’s on my mind outside of that setting.  There is a mantra of “Seek to understand before being understood.”   I love this saying, but I rarely followed it.

When we adopted Domestic Discipline almost 5 years ago, it was one of the things I wanted to improve about myself.  I knew reigning in my reflex to demand to be heard would help make me a better wife, mother, sister, friend, you name it.   My blog became one place where I didn’t have to reign that it.  I could go on a rant about anything at any time, such as An Esoteric Ramble, or a politically fueled, We Are Not Okay, But We Will Be.

It was my interactions on the site I mentioned in the last post, Sister’s in Submission,  that woke me up to the fact I once again was going down a path of seeking to be understood before understanding others.  I realized I was not only too quick to throw in my two cents on a topic, but my responses seemed to have the effect of shutting down dialogue, not continuing it.   Of course, I’d like to think it is because my responses were so thought out that they resonated with everyone’s “truth” thus there was simply nothing left for anyone to add.   That MUST be the reason.   Either that or it was because I was dominating the conversation, not furthering it.  Hum.  Maybe the latter?

And I noticed this old habit started appearing IRL.  With friends, family, coworkers, and yes, even with Mike.  (BTW, I’ll talk about my new job at some point. It’s part-time).

So I decided that while I would still chime in now and then, I would be less demonstrative and more suggestive in my online responses.   I also recommitted to myself to be a better listener with everyone I interacted with, whether it was online or IRL.

And I loved it!

I was getting something rewarding and fulfilling out of being  quieter – out of “seeking to understand before being understood.”   I was enjoying reading what other people had to say, being more inquisitive in my statements versus pushing my own conclusions.  It was nice hearing a different voice than my own.  And thus, the thought of “telling all” or ranting via my blog no longer motivated me. 

Also, I think there is some level of authority we all give to someone who goes on and on about a particular topic, in my case, Domestic Discipline.  And as I stated, I felt a bit intimidated with my million views and sex blogger ranking.   Like,  don’t listen to me.  I am no expert.  I do consider myself an expert on MY LIFE, but no one else’s.  I told myself, “Jen, just shut up already!”   So I did!

YAWN.  ENOUGH!  GIVE US SEXY TIME!
But now my “quiet period is over.  No need to “be quiet.”  Maybe quieter, but not quiet.  As I stated in a prior post, I needed to “get over myself.”    My obscure little blog is not intended to change the worldview on human sexuality, gender roles, marriage, or kink.  It’s simply a way for me to think through things while scratching my itch to be a bit of an exhibitionist (and for some of you more pervy folks, maybe masturbatory fodder).

With that – guess what?  We’ve been making plans for Immersion 2020 It’s become an “event” in our Circle of Trust where people have planned to take time off work – a bit of a sexual exploration vacation!  The guys are coordinating a “Swap-fest” of sorts where we will be spending some meaningful one-on-one time with other members of our group.  As in, spending the evening and night with someone other than your significant other(s).   I don’t know all the details and will happily share them when I do. 

AND — we are about a month away from our FIVE YEAR DD-VERSARY.  That’s right!  Five years of committing to a Domestic Discipline dynamic.    And there is still a lot I’d love to fill you in on regarding the last several months.    More blogging to come!

NEXT: 339. Jenny-job, Mean Mike, the Platinum Rule, a Jenny thing, and some other stuff

66. A Quick Spanking Story

strap
I can’t believe it’s been nine days since my last post.   Things have been pretty routine around hereJohn and Donna went out of town for the long holiday weekend, so no adult time with them last weekend.

I will give you a two-fer today in two separate posts.

  • The first is a spanking story to give you pervs something to get all warm and tingly about.
  • The second is a more of an  esoteric ramble to give you philosophers, truth-seekers, and dreamers something to percolate in your mind.

Spanking Story
I did get a punishment over the weekend from Mike that was notable due to the severity.   I don’t get spanked often as I seem to have hit a stride with our routine and am consistently able to fulfill all my many duties and obligations.  The notable exception was last weekend.  I had gone out with my niece (she is in her twenties) for some shopping and a day out.   I forgot my cell phone, which is a no-no.  I called Mike from my niece’s phone to make him aware I didn’t have my phone on me.   When I called him I didn’t expect him to scold me or tell me there would be consequences later.  He knows that I know that there will be consequences, so no need to point it out.  What I wasn’t sure of is whether he would tell me to come home now and if so, spank me of course and then he may or may not allow me to go back out.

He just matter-of-factly said that if he needed something he would call my niece’s phone.  I was relieved he didn’t want me to come home right then.  My days out are not just for fun, but are needed as part of decompressing and re-energizing myself to take on the primary care duties of our son.  I mentioned before he has a disability and caring for him can be physically and emotionally demanding.  Of course, add in all the domestic duties I have willingly taken on, and mentally I need my occasional days out.

I knew what was in store for me when I got home, although I wasn’t prepared for the intensity of it.   As I pulled into the garage and closed the garage door, Mike entered and said, “Drop your pants right there.”  He shared that our son was over at a friends and wouldn’t be back for about an hour.   I did so and leaned against the car and Mike proceeded to spank me by hand, very hard, probably about 30 times in rapid succession.

He then told me to undress and go to our room.  I did so, and took the customary stance in the corner, awaiting his arrival.  Mike came in the room and without moving from the corner took off his belt and gave me about 15, again in pretty rapid succession.  He then told me to clasp my hands behind my head and continue standing in the corner.  He left the room and came back about 10 minutes later.  He got the infamous prison strap and spanked me pretty hard five times, then called me over across his knee.  He spanked me countless times by hand, perhaps 200.  Not hard, but just a steady rhythm of spank after stinging spank.   Needless to say I was quite teary eyed and my ass was completely covered in the brightest shade of pink I’ve ever seen.   When he was done he had me stand in the corner about another 15 minutes and then we concluded the episode per our Rewards Ceremony and that was that.

It was while I was in the corner that I began to reflect and ponder, which leads me to the next post . . .

NEXT:  67. An Esoteric Ramble