Tag Archives: deliberate

146. Slow Down!

SlowDown

Yesterday was a busy day and the five of us spent the evening out as a family, getting home later than usual and thus pushing our nighttime routine to later than usual.  Last night, after I finished up publishing my last post, Mike told Kayla and I that we would have a meeting in our bedroom.       

He said, “Both of you get naked and move the chair to the middle of the room.  Assume a submissive pose on the floor in front of the chair and wait for me to come in.”  

He went on to instruct us not to talk to each other or even giggle or smile.   Once in position we are to stare forward, even after he enters the room.  We were not talk to each other at any time. He said he wants our expressions and demeanor to remain solemn.  Humm..serious stuff?!?  We of course did as we were told. 

It was about ten minutes before Mike entered the room.  Our backs were to him when he walked in.  He walked up behind us and told us to close our eyes and listen intently to what he had to say.  

He said he had been doing a lot of thinking about how our dynamic has rapidly evolved. He shared that he is concerned that all three of us are moving too fast.  He said he is not concerned about where it could be headed, just that it is heading there too fast.  He felt we all needed to be more deliberate in our thinking about the fantasies we want to explore in real life and more deliberate in thinking through all the consequences, good and bad.  He also said that as we defer to him for many decisions, that what he was telling us actually applied more to him than to us.    

He pointed out my “coming out” to my sisters as an example of perhaps not thinking things through.  He took some accountability for that since he did, after all, approve my request to tell them.  He pointed out the “Rudy” incident as a warning signal of what could happen if we, and more specifically, if he, expanded our “circle of trust” in an undisciplined manner.   We were fortunate in that all of us read the clear “danger” signals that Rudy exuded, but what if he had been more subtle and what if one of us, especially him (Mike), didn’t pick up on that?   It could have resulted in a bad experience for me or for Kayla.  

Mike went on to say that he and I had attended some FetLife type functions in the past, and while we enjoyed them, concluded that they just weren’t for us.   His feelings were not changed after that recent party.  Our social circle and sex lives are very fulfilling and at this time he sees no upside to the potential risks or complications of pursuing those types of activities with others.  We are fortunate enough to have the three of us, and John and Donna, to explore various sexual adventures.   Per Mike, going beyond our “circle of trust” any time soon would be reckless.  

Thus he said we would not be attending any such functions in the near future.  Further, he told Kayla that she is not to pursue her “gang bang” fantasy and he would not be arranging it.  He told her that this was in no way a judgment on the fantasy itself.  He supports her safe sexual exploration and right now feels it is not the safest time for her to explore that.  He felt it wasn’t safe for her emotional development and that the risk factors were only compounded by the fact he just doesn’t trust anyone else beyond John.

He reminded Kayla that she has only been with us for five months, and in that time has transformed herself in so many amazing ways.  Physically she has transformed – losing 12 pounds, and shaving her head and eyebrows (which have already grown back quite a bit. She looks adorable in super short hair!).  And emotionally she has transformed – she is more willing to pursue new experiences, she is more extroverted, more conscientious of her own well-being, and just overall more self-confident.  He told her he doesn’t want to lose any of that momentum and right now he believes the timing is bad for her to pursue that particular fantasy.     

He then told us we can open our eyes as he took a seat in the chair in front of us.  He bent down a bit, with his forearms resting on his thighs with his hands clasped between his legs.  His face was close to us, just above our eye level.  He alternated looking intently into our eyes and told us he did not want to hear any comments about what he just stated.  He said he put a lot of thought into what he said, and out of respect, we need to put the same amount of thought into understanding, then expressing, our reaction.  He said we could share our thoughts at our next respective Maintenance Sessions.

He then said he loved us both, and was looking forward to the Immersion and that none of what he just talked about will take away from the intensity of what he has planned for us.   He then told us to face each other and remaining in our otherwise submissive pose, hold each others hands.  He set the timer on his phone for 15 minutes and told us to simply sit there quietly looking at each other while remaining in that pose.  When the time is up, we can then resume our bedtime routine.  He was going to take a shower and did not want to hear us talking the rest of the night unless he asked us something.  He wanted quiet and for each of us to reflect on the things he talked about.    

And reflect I have.  It’s all good, very good, at least for me.  I believe he is right in that we have been moving 100 miles an hour and need to take a pit stop.  That doesn’t mean we don’t resume our previous speed at some point, but a respite is warranted so we all can reflect and make good decisions.  Ultimately, I believe that Mike was saying, as our primary “decider,” that he needed us to slow down so that he can make the best decisions as possible on our behalf.  Another example of how wonderful Mike has been as a husband and as a Dom!

I don’t know for sure how Kayla feels yet.  We were not allowed to discuss it until our respective Maintenance Sessions with Mike.   Her demeanor seemed to indicate she fully accepted it as the loving geasture it was.  I’ll let you know if that was not the case!

NEXT:  147.  Submissive Roller Coaster