Tag Archives: DD

36. Vocabulary Lesson: Fetch the Rubber Paddle

It’s been hectic lately. With school out our youngest is home all day and our middle child is home for about two more weeks before he heads back for a summer session at college. We’ve had to modify our DD a bit. As I’ve said a few times before, TTWD can be inconvenient with kids around. Enough about that, let me get back to sharing our M/s immersion experiment.

In this post I will share my greatest challenge during the immersion. It isn’t what you would likely guess. It all had to do with vocabulary. Oh, by the way, I didn’t forget that I promised to share my most humbling and horrific experience from the immersion. I will share that on my next post. I need to build up the courage to share that, and think through how I can delicately address it.

So, the most challenging — Mike came up with some vocabulary rules for me. One of which is that I must acknowledge I heard whatever he last said. I do so by verbally answering, not just nodding my head.   My answer must refer to him as “Sir,” and I must rephrase or repeat what he said as a way of conveying I heard him completely. Only then could I add my response or answer to his question. I also had to speak clearly and confidently without hesitation.

It sounded something like this:

Mike: “Jen, I need a sandwich.”
Jen: “What kind would you like?”

Mike: “That’s one. Remember, how to properly phrase your responses to me.”
Jen: “Yes sir, you need a sandwich, what kind would you like?”

Mike: “That’s two. The last thing I stated was about how to properly phrase a response. It was not about my sandwich.”
Jen: “Yes, sir, I will remember how to properly phrase my responses to you.”

Mike: “Will you?  Well, that’s three because my last statement was not about telling you to remember anything, it was to point out that my prior statement was about how to properly phrase a response.”
Jen: “Yes sir, you were not telling me to remember anything, you were pointing out your statement about how to properly phrase a response.”

Mike: “Good girl, you got it right.”
Jen: Silence.

Mike: “That’s four. You failed to respond to what I said.
Jen (meekly): Yes sir.   That was four as I failed to respond. That you sir for acknowledging I got it right.

Mike: “Okay, but that’s five because you responded too softly. I must hear you clearly and hear conviction in what you say.”
Jen (boldly): “Yes sir, it is five. I must speak clearly.”

Mike: “About that sandwich”
Jen: “Yes sir, you would like a sandwich. What kind would you like me to make?”

Mike: “Ham and cheese with lettuce and tomatoes would be good.”
Jen: “Sir, shall I toast your bread?”

Mike: “That’s six.”
Jen: “Sorry Sir, yes, that’s six. Sir would like ham, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes. Would you like me to toast your bread, Sir?”

and so on!

There were many examples like this one, some went on a very long time where I would actually get up to “10” in one basic conversation.   I got better at it but it was not until about half way through the immersion that I actually got good at it.

Oh, and what did the “6” or “10” or whatever number refer to?  There were two punishments attached to that number. When Mike felt the particular exchange was concluded, he would have me fetch the “rubber paddle.” This was one of several new implements he ordered. I would bring it to him and he would immediately administer the number of swats that corresponded to whatever number of vocabulary infractions I had during that conversation.   We then had a paper posted on the refrigerator that kept a running tally of my vocabulary infractions (and when we went out, I carried a notepad to keep tally).   Each time I got to 10, he would then administer the Jumping Jacks of Doom.

We couldn’t continue this vocabulary rule into our daily life, but I am now in the habit of always calling him Sir when the kids aren’t around and out of habit I have even do so several times in front the kids. I had done it before in front of our youngest and he never commented or seemed to think anything of it, but our middle child did. I just chalked it up to being playful and silly (which is true, just not all the truth).

Oh, and I’ll comment about this rubber paddle. I hate it. It is odd.  The sting from it is not all that greater than other items, but it seems to have a longer lasting effect. The sting seems to stay around for quite a bit after the spanking. It makes my ass a bit raw and thus not only stings for longer, but if I get spanked again soon after, that spanking stings a whole lot more than usual, regardless of what implement is used.   I don’t know if this is due to the type of paddle, how Mike is using it, or just how my ass reacts to it. Whatever the reason, it is not a favorite of mine.

Next: 37. Uggh.  Assistance with Activities of Daily Living. 

 

38. Bow-chicka…Nope! plus Tattoo Parlor Confessions

I’ve got so many stories from our experiment to share and since tonight is a rare night with time on my hands, I will share two more.  These are related as the both involve some exhibitionism.  Exhibitionism is pretty tame compared to my prior stories, so I doubt these will be very titillating, but they do serve as another footnote in TTWD.

Bow-chika wow wow?

Mike called a plumber to fix a problem with our water heater.  Naturally I thought I would either get dressed or just wait in our bedroom until he left.  Mike thought otherwise. He told me I would remain nude and I would be the one to explain the problem to the plumber as he was giving me permission to speak as necessary in order to converse with the plumber. When the plumber arrived Mike had a brief talk with him, just in case the plumber saw one too many pornos and was thinking “bow-chicka wow wow” he would understand this was “bow-chicka nope!” He gave the plumber some story that I lost a bet and had to stay naked.  He told the plumber there was nothing sexual about it, and that he needs to treat it matter-of-fact as if I was clothed.  He asked the plumber if he had a problem with that and if he did, he would have me wait in another room.  The plumber actually joked, “Is she good looking? “ And then laughing said he would be “cool with that.”

Mike let him in and I met him just outside our pantry, where our water heater is located.  In the most casual and normal way I could muster, I said, “Let me show you where it is.”   I walked him over to the water heater and explained the problem. All the while Mike was just standing there smiling.  The guy would say something but look over at Mike and Mike would quickly say, “Talk to her, she is handling this.”   I could tell the guy was more embarrassed than I was.  The rest of his service call was uneventful, and after checking it all out he said we just need a new water heater. It was so funny because I could feel the muscles in his eyes struggling to stay focused on my face.   Finally, as he was leaving, I said, “okay, you’ve been such a great sport about it go ahead and take a good look at my boobs and body.”   He looked over at Mike and Mike said, “Obviously I don’t mind as I invited you in knowing she was naked.  Go ahead and have your look.”  With that he gave me about a five-second once-over look and blushed even more.  He then seemed very eager to return and reassured us they’ll call as soon as the replacement arrived and he and a coworker would come to install it.  Mike and I joked that when he returns with a partner to help with installing the new heater, I’ll be fully clothed and if the guy mentions anything about me being naked before we will act like he is crazy and deny it, just to mess with him.

Tattoo Parlor Confessions  (technically a nipple piercing, not a tattoo).
We celebrated the end of our M/s immersion with me getting my nipples pierced.  It was actually the last day of our experiment so the M/s rules still applied.  When we got to the place we had to decide between 12 or 14-gauge (went with 14 as that is what they recommended) as well as pick out some jewelry. I had to follow our
vocabulary rules anytime Mike asked me a question, including calling him Sir.  When they would ask me a question, I would answer, “Whatever Sir wants.”   This was uncomfortable for me, but I psyched myself up for it by imagining I was in a play and was simply playing a role.  The gal helping us caught on pretty quick and started directing her questions to Mike.

There was a young couple there and the young woman was considering piercing her nipples and her boyfriend was definitely encouraging her.  She was being hesitant so Mike asked her if it would help if she watched as I got it done. Mike told them that her boyfriend was welcomed to watch too.  They agreed.

When we were ready the girl at the desk took us to the back, although it really wasn’t behind anything. It was an open area and the piercing and tattoo stations were more like open cubicles.  They did have one private room and offered it, but Mike declined.  She had me sit with Ramon and I took my top and bra off and away he went.  The pain was tolerable and they’ve healed nicely – still just a tad tender, and I am still getting used to having them – ouch, when a towel catches on them!  In the scheme of things, this story is a bit of a yawner.  Nothing crazy happened and I got the sense that women drop their tops in this place all the time.

Maybe Ramon was more entertained.  Not by the boob-show, but by the conversation.  Right after mine, we got to watch the young lady get hers done.  They asked us a lot of questions about our relationship, specifically asking if it was a “Fifty shades” thing.   Mike told them it was something like that, but that each dominant/submissive relationship was different and he went into honest details about our DD, that we were experimenting with a master/slave dynamic and the piercing was to celebrate the end of that experiment.  The girl especially had lots of questions.  She admitted to liking to be spanked and when her blushing boyfriend said that he spanked her sometimes, she said, “Uh, your love taps don’t count as a spanking.”  While it didn’t seem like DD would be their thing, it was clear to me that she has some harder spankings in her future.  Ramon must have been very entertained by our entire conversation.  I think HBO should do a series like the old Taxicab Confessions but call it Tattoo Parlor Confessions.

Next:  39. What’s in a Name?  A Spanking!

37. Uggh! Assistance with Activites of Daily Living

Yea! I have some unexpected free time and get to do another post today. In typical Jenny style, I can’t just jump in and share my most dreadful experience during our immersion. It needs a little set up.

I already shared the most challenging rule of the immersion and now I will share the most humbling.

When Mike and I first talked about what our immersion would be like, we talked about how far he should push things. Mike had shared several ideas with me prior to our immersion, but I told him not to tell me everything he had planned. I wanted there to be the element of shock and awe.   And for everything he did share I was quick to reassure him I was comfortable with those things and was willing to go deeper. I told him to go far, even if he felt it was humiliating to me. I told him I don’t and wouldn’t look at any of the things he was thinking of as humiliating. I vividly remember telling him that I would take anything he thought was humiliating and at worst I would just likely be humbled by it, not humiliated.  Well, I guess I lied. After all, humbled, mortified, and embarrassed, are all meanings of the word humiliated, and I felt all of those things.

Mike had this idea that I could not be responsible for any of my self-care; eating, dressing, bathing, and yes, using the bathroom.

Eating: I would fix Mike’s meal and he would eat it as I waited, kneeling nearby, getting up only to fetch anything else he needed. When he was done I would clean up, and then could make myself something. I would bring it over to Mike and then kneel down next to him.   He would cut my food and feed me. I could not use my hands at all, even to use a napkin. (There were a few times Mike “invited” me to dine with him as a special treat, although frankly, it was probably because feeding me was pretty tedious). A few times we had John and Donna over and they would take turns feeding me. Oh, keep in mind I also had a standing rule at all times that I could never speak unless spoken to.

Dressing: I was always naked when we were home, but we did go out in public a few times during our immersion (those outings can be another story I can share). Mike would pick out my clothes and dress me. He really couldn’t handle my hair and would call Donna over to brush and fix it nicely. Oh, and when we got home, I couldn’t undress myself. He had to undress me.

Bathing: I could not lift a hand and had to be bathed by someone else. It included a very thorough washing and drying of every nook and cranny. The water was always cold, except one night when Mike rewarded me with a warm bath.  Mike also enlisted the help of both John and Donna.   Sometimes Mike would bathe me, other times it was John and other times it was Donna. While John had seen me naked before – heck, he has seen me masturbate – having him bathe me was a bit eerie.   Mike was not present when one of them would bathe me so it seemed a bit more personal, a bit more intimate. And again, I could never speak unless spoken to.   One time I said something to John and when he reported it to Mike, Mike had John spank me for the infraction.

Bathroom: This was the most shocking and humbling and yes, I will say humiliating. Having to always ask permission to use the bathroom was no big deal. It was the only time I could speak without being spoken to. What was a big deal is that I couldn’t use the bathroom alone. Someone, usually Mike, always had to be with me. Worst yet, I could not attend to certain things on my own. Okay, I’ll just say it. I was not allowed to wipe myself. When it came to #2, Mike thought such a task was not going to fall on him either, so, I had to call Donna when I needed assistance with that. Yes, just imagine the phone call. “Donna, this is Jen, can you come over and wipe me?” There were a few times Donna was not available and Mike made me call and ask John. Luckily, John declined the invitation each time. I guess he even has limits. Ha!   But Donna didn’t have the luxury of declining. John loved the idea of her having to do this that he soon had me return the favor and Donna was calling me when she needed assistance.   Of course, this was the first thing I said had to go once our immersion was over. I was not going to carry this over to become routine.

So, there it is.   I wasn’t going to share this one but Mike reads my blog and insists I share. Uggh!

I imagine there can’t possibly be anything that would be more difficult for me to share than what I just shared with you (or is there?).

Next: 38. Bow-chicka NOPE!  plus Tattoo Parlor Confessions

32. Appreciate, Follow, Obey, Please, Serve.

I’ve re-written this post several times before publishing. I’ve gone from wanting to share my thoughts and plans for next week (it starts Wednesday) to wanting to share nothing. It’s an odd feeling. I’ve shared a lot in my posts, but for some reason I don’t feel like sharing much about what’s going on at this moment. It’s like I want what Mike and I are about to embark upon to be just ours – no one else’s.   It’s not due to any sense of shame (I have none), or from fear (I have some, but that’s not why). It’s just I want this to be ours, and ours alone.   Maybe I’ll feel differently when it is over.

Anxiety Soup
I will share a few things. I am feeling a bit of anxiety soup. . . excitement with a dash of fear, peppered with anticipation and anxiousness to get started.   And it isn’t the type of fear as in a fear from danger, but a fear in that perhaps it will not be what I hope it to be. I am trying to not think about what I hope it will be and simply just let it be.   A journey into the unknown, a test of limits, and exploration that will take me wherever it takes me, no expectations.

No Expectations
Okay, maybe some expectations.  I expect I will enjoy this, but also enjoy that it is only for 10-days.  I’ll be wanting it to end, not because I wouldn’t be enjoying myself, but after 10 days I will be ready to return to our “normal” DD lifestyle. My expectation is that we will take a few “nuggets” of what we learned in our experiment and apply them to our lifestyle going forward. The rest we will remember as a fond memory but not seek to repeat it. Like that once in a lifetime trip to Paris, except for the pain, degradation, and humiliation part.   Just kidding.   While we plan to go dark, I can never feel humiliated in front of Mike.   Intensely uncomfortable, perhaps a bit of embarrassment, but not degraded or humiliated. We have done a couple of “training days” (more like training “hours” because private time has been hard to come by lately) where Mike has subjected me to some of the rules that will be in place next week. There’s no consequences at this point, just reminders that certain behaviors are expected or no longer tolerated.   I will share a few of them, but most of the stuff I’m keeping between Mike and me, at least for now.

No Please
One thing I am having trouble with is that Mike said I cannot say the word “please.” He said that is a word of manipulation, as if I am pleading with him to try and influence him. I am simply to state whatever it is I may be asking, without saying please, else I will be punished. I also have to acknowledge everything he says, even if there is nothing for me to say, with a simple, “Yes, Sir.”  Think of it as a substitute for when you otherwise say, “Okay.” Also, I cannot speak to him until spoken to, period, no exception. That is really difficult. Couple of other things — I also am only able to drink tepid water, no ice and no other drinks.   I must ask permission for everything I do and there are certain things I am not allowed to do on my own.

FINAL SHARE
Because I am weird that way, we did write down these rules for our 10-day Immersion:

Without condition, hesitation, or any reservations;

  • Jennifer commits to Appreciate, Follow, Obey, Please, and Serve Mike both proactively and in response to any and all demands he makes of Jennifer.
  • Mike commits to Lead, Protect, Provide, and Decide for and on behalf of Jennifer for any all things that occur in every aspect of daily life.

Okay, that’s enough to share for now. If you want to know more, just let your imagination run wild   If you can think it, we are probably doing it, with very few exceptions:

6 more days to immersion!

NEXT: 33. Reason=Conclusions. Emotions=Fulfillment

31. June Butterflies – 10 day Total Power Exchange

I have butterflies in my stomach.  Not the anxiety driven type such as before a test or important presentation. Not the type you get from a great roller coaster ride. It’s the type that I haven’t felt since my first infatuation with a boy in middle school. The persistent tingle fueled by a constant adrenaline drip. The more I think about what is to come, the faster the drip. My heart beats faster, my mouth becomes dry, and my hands a little shaky and a bit damp.  These thoughts prime my sexual feelings and leave me in a constant heightened state of arousal. Any time I want I can orgasm in record time.

Two reasons for the butterflies.

  1. Social Event:  In mid-June Mike and I are going to a local event we found on FetLife. It’s a gathering of “like minded” folks to explore and share TTWD. It’s at a public place so should be filled with casual conversation.   I am very excited.
  2. Submissive Immersion: Mike and I are taking our DD up a notch (make that several notches), at least temporarily.  In mid-June my son is going to spend two weeks at my parents, which is customary during the summer. Our other son is attending summer sessions so won’t be home from college. That gives Mike and I some extended alone time

We decided on a 10-day submissive immersion in June.  A full M/s dynamic with total power exchange (TPE). That sounds ominous, and in some ways it is, but it is new for us, so I am sure our version of TPE will seem light compared to those that are TPE veterans.

I won’t list all the things that will be part of our TPE, partly because I don’t know what all Mike has in store for me, but also partly to just let your imagination run wild. Unlike our DD contract where much of it was my creation with Mike’s consent, our TPE stuff is mostly Mike’s creation with my consent, if you want to call it consent.  I went in with the mindset that I will agree to everything he comes up with. He has shared many ideas with me and I did not disagree with a single one – if anything I suggested some things that took his idea a bit deeper.  I wanted him to know he can go as deep and dark as he wants.  He has come up with some pretty wild and far out stuff, at least for us former vanilla-folks. Plus, he is free to ad-lib at will, so I can only imagine what kind of stuff he comes up with as we get into the later days of our immersion.

I told him this was about me serving him.  It is not about serving any of my needs.  As I shared before, much of our DD has been a bit selfish on my part where I set the rules and Mike carries them out. That just doesn’t work in an M/s dynamic. Knowing that these are things he wants to explore is what adds to my butterflies.  It excites me to truly serve him for his sake, not for mine!

It’s interesting for me to think back to just a little over a year ago, pre-DD. I would look at what we are going to be doing in Mid-June as insane at best, repulsive at worst. I had so many misconceptions about submissiveness – many that I am sure you have if you haven’t explored this lifestyle, or likely had before you explored this lifestyle.

Oh, and another thing I am excited about is that I am going to get my nipples pierced! Personally I was ambivalent about it but Mike told me to do it and that was sufficient for me. Knowing he wants it turned my ambivalence to excitement. I can’t wait to have it done. . . for him!

June is going to be fun!
Next: 32. Appreciate, Follow, Obey, Please, Serve

24. Intense Spanking Part I – My first and most severe punishment

Setting up the various emotional facets of this story will take a little time, so I broke it up into two posts.
This will cover all the things leading up to my most intense Reward Session.  In fact, it is called an Intense Reward per our DD contract.    As with other posts, it helps to understand my DD contract. You can read about it at Our DD Contract

I share this with some embarrassment, but as I have extolled the virtues of my DD journey it is only fair I share some of the challenges.  While this represents a “bad” time for me, it is important to keep it in context of the alternative.  Without DD, I would have been in an even worse place.  With DD I was able to quickly recover, reconciling my actions with both myself and with Mike, and quickly move on.  Without DD there would have been long drawn out resentments and arguments (literally years of that).  DD played a crucial role in keeping it short lived by providing a mechanism for quick healing and resolution.

Backstory 1:  Life Pre-DD
I mentioned before one of the issues I had pre-DD was being disorganized, forgetful, and losing stuff.  In the course of perhaps 6-9 months pre-DD, on separate occasions I lost my credit card (more than once), lost my keys, lost a nice ring, broke one phone and lost another.  I misplaced things constantly throughout the house.  I even misplaced my vibrator once (I still don’t remember why I ever brought it in the closet, but there it was).  I would forget appointments and get togethers with a friend or family.  It was the proverbial, “I would lose my head if it weren’t screwed on.”   This had started to improve almost immediately under DD, but was still a pretty frequent cause of rewards for some time.

Backstory 2:  Robbery
Another backstory that will be relevant to this story.  When Mike was young his family was robbed.  A lot of things were stolen from their house.  Things you might expect like jewelry and electronics, but even toys, appliances, and TV’s.  It was a pretty thorough robbery.  This caused Mike to be very security oriented.  We have always had an alarm for our house and Mike is always upgrading it when a better system comes along.  We have cameras, motion sensitive lights, you name it.

Back Story 3: Calibration
This incident took place when we were a little over two months in to DD.  Rewards were probably occurring at least every other day or so and some days there would be several.  Mike and I were slowly getting closer to being on the same page, or, “calibrating” as I call it…basically, getting in sync with our thoughts and feelings regarding DD and getting better on consistently applying it.  We now had 8-10 Maintenance Sessions under our belt.  If you haven’t read my prior posts, our Maintenance Sessions allows me to talk openly, but respectfully, about things that occurred that I want to clarify.

We still had a way to go before being fully “calibrated.”  The issue at that time was I felt Mike was too soft.  He was still unsure about how far he should take control.  We both agreed that DD was having a positive impact, but I felt it could be even greater if he were more consistent in calling me on a Transgression and ensuring the Reward was strong.   I remember pointing out three things to him at that time.  One was that I wanted him to be more comfortable with me having to be “unquestionably obedient” and to do what I was told without hesitation.  Another was for me to refer to him as Sir such as “Yes Sir,” “No Sir,” “Thank you Sir.”  It was not in his nature to be direct in what he wanted.  It was often, “Can you…” or, “Would you be able to…” instead of, “Jenny, do this now.”  Lastly, the Rewards seemed to be decreasing in intensity.   I asked Mike to approach this from the other end of the spectrum and try to be extremely strict for one week.  Basically, help me find my limit for discipline.  Once found, we could dial it down if needed, but we’ll never find the right balance at the pace things were going.

It was fortuitous that I had asked him this just five days before this incident occurred.

The Transgression
I had gone shopping and left the store with several bags in hand.  After my purchase I stopped for a moment and put down my purse and bags so I could rearrange things to carry them more easily.  It didn’t help I was also trying to hold on to a Pepsi.  My phone rang and I was talking to my brother.  I gathered up my bags as I talked with him and walked out of the store.  I found a bench to sit down at and finished talking.  In all about 20 minutes passed.  As I got up I realized my purse was gone.  While it was possible it was snatched as I sat there, I was pretty sure I had forgotten it when I put my bags down earlier.  I quickly ran back to the area where I had stopped to rearrange my bags, but of course, no purse in sight.

My first call was to my bank.  Even though I reached them fairly quickly, enough time had passed for the crook to charge about $700 on two different credit cards. In addition, in my purse was a Fitbit I had just purchased that day, about $100 in cash, a gift card or two (or three) of various balances, my Kindle, house and car keys, and my of course my driver’s license and who knows what else.

I needed to call Mike so he could bring me his car key.  I was unsure what reaction I would get.  Would he respond in a pre-DD like manner?  Pre-DD this would certainly cause an epic level blow up and I would likely never hear the end of it.  I also knew his reaction to this theft would bring back some of what he felt when his house was robbed as a child,.  It was already an uneasy  vulnerable feeling to know someone has our address and house and car keys. Would he blow his top, or would he stick to our DD “protocol?”

After reporting the theft to the mall security and the local police, I called Mike and he said he could leave work right away and bring me the spare keys.  It was a short conversation that gave me little insight into what he was feeling.  He calmly said he would pick me up and once home would recode the locks on the house and call the dealer to deactivate and replace the key fob.

I began to wonder what was in store for me if he does stick to our DD.  Of all weeks, it was the week I told him he needed to be stricter and that I felt he was getting softer in his spankings.  This also happened to be a Friday where our son was staying at my parents.  One Friday a month my mom and dad pick up our son after school and keep him for the weekend, returning Sunday evening.  No one was going to be home but Mike and me.  My mind raced to what Mike might have in store for me.

I had done well to minimize my tears as I was very upset with the feeling of violation that comes from a theft, as well as the disappointment in myself and in knowing I let Mike down and stirred up some bad memories for him.  When Mike pulled up it caused a release of emotions in me and I cried heavily and hugged him.  He was reassuring and comforting.  We drove over to where I had parked and he asked me to follow him home. Thus far he was calm, but I noticed he was taking a lot of deep breaths and not making much eye contact. He asked me what happened and I shared every detail.

He told me that when I got home he would call the car dealer and work on the house door and that I was to go immediately to our room.  I said “okay.”
He then sternly said, “What?”
“I mean, yes, sir.” I said.

His “what” scared me a bit as he said it with a bite that I hadn’t heard before.  I wanted to remind him that he is not to give Rewards in anger, but “coaching” him about a Reward is a transgression, and I didn’t want to add to what was to come or possibly make him more angry.  Although I kept telling myself to just trust him and everything would be fine, I had serious doubts it would be.  I continued to cry on my drive home thinking about the importance of what was about to happen.  In my mind, this was a litmus test for whether DD would work for us or not. I truly felt that the next few hours could mark the end of my stupid idea about using DD.

We got home and parked the cars in the garage as we normally do.  Mike did not say a word to me as he immediately fished through his tools in the garage looking for whatever he needed to rekey the door lock.  I didn’t say anything either and as I approached the door to the house Mike quite sternly told me to stop.

“Yes, sir?”  I asked.

“Take your clothes off right here and leave them and then go to your room,” he calmly said.  The garage door wasn’t closed yet, but I did as he asked.  He walked up behind me and somewhat shielded me from view of anyone who might walk by.  “And as you wait for me I want you to hold this.”  He took off his belt and handed it to me.  “Now, off to your room. I’ll be there when I am done with the door.”

Wow. That sure sent me a powerful message.  It was odd walking through the house naked.  I went to our room and stood in the corner, belt in hand.  I was nervous and still crying about the events that transpired thus far and over the weight I had put on this moment.  I didn’t realize how hard it was to stand in a corner for so long. It seemed like forever.  I continued to try and reassure myself that all would work out and we would be better for having DD to guide us.  It was at least thirty minutes before Mike came in the room.

NEXT:  25. Intense Spanking Part II – My most severe punishment

22.Crossroads / Stories of sex or of the mundane

I am at a bit of a crossroads with where to go with my blog.  I set out to share my story for how I got to where I am and how DD set me on an unexpected but immediate and amazing path toward living the life I want for myself and my family.   I’ve shared that.

I know people like to read spicy, salacious, and naughty details, but, I am not naturally into sharing them.  Partly because I don’t want it to become simply about the sex.  But I recognize that a heighten awareness of each other and togetherness with each other is going to lead my husband and I to added sexual adventure.  I didn’t get into DD for that. That was just a great bonus!  My concern is if I focus too much on that aspect of my DD, it takes away from how I use DD as part of self actualization.

I want to share the emotions, the gratification, and the fulfillment that I am getting, along with an indescribable closeness with Mike.  This closeness comes after almost 25 years of marriage.  I didn’t believe there was a higher level of closeness possible, but I was wrong.   As I said before, it is like we are one, but not the same.

However, I don’t dismiss that the sex stuff is part of the “package” of DD.  So, while I will share an erotic experience or two, I’ll also share just a day in the life.  Some posts may be about the monotony of a day, some may share a spanking or two, and of course, I’ll still throw in the occasional sex romp.   

Oh, yeah – The Neighbors
The last sexcapade I shared was regarding a visit with our neighbors.  Let me cut any suspense and say there hasn’t been any 4-way or swapping.  We all talked it out and laid out some ground rules.  That discussion was a trip.  Imagine two couples talking about, “is it okay if I suck her breast” or, “is it okay to spank your wife?”  That discussion could be an entire post.  Suffice to say, final agreement is no swapping of any kind (kissing, oral, penetration, etc.), but some touching is allowed.  And as it stands right now, while I am for having sex with Donna, she isn’t into it.  See, everyone has boundaries, even those of us into the kinkier things.  Donna did agree to masturbate in front of us (or John ordered her to and she complied), so we’ve had a few get togethers where her and I put on a show for the guys.  It’s amazing the sex that Mike and I have after a visit with our friends.  They really get us sexually charged up for each other!   Oh, and, John and Donna even showed us some of their TTWD’s.

Donna likes to be flogged and they actually let us watch some sessions.  It is pretty intense to my tastes, but she clearly enjoys them.  John really hits hard, across her ass, back, tits, stomach, thighs.  Pretty thorough thrashing.   She is so beautiful and watching it can be hard at some points.  Not to infer that if she wasn’t beautiful it would be easier to watch. That sounds messed up.  Let me try to clarify that thought.  I think the beauty I am referring to is just the beauty of a naked woman.  The beauty of the curves, the beauty of the vulnerability, the beauty of her submission, and the beauty of the pleasure she was taking in receiving it all.  Contrasting that beauty was the fact I wanted it to stop at certain points as it sometimes made me flinch just watching.  She loves it though, and has shared that she loves it more knowing she was exposing herself even more by letting us in to that part of her.  And I’ll admit, John’s aftercare was touching to watch.  I still think he is a bit of jerk.

I don’t know if I’ll write more about our get together.  Perhaps if things escalate beyond what we have currently agreed upon.  The quick run down at this point is that Donna and I have each given the others husband a hand job, and each of the husbands have felt and sucked the other wife’s tits.  We’ve had sex with our own husbands in front of each other/at the same time.  Oh, and Donna and I have felt each other’s boobs.   John and Donna have let us watch some of their “play” (oh, did I mention that the metaphorical leash I felt John had on Donna was not a metaphor?).  And, Mike has delivered a few Immediate Awards to me in front of them.  That’s the complete extent of it and we don’t have plans on it going further.  That’s pretty dang far for us!

Next – 23. Quick Reflection, then on to a Spanking Story