Click bait! Yeah, this post is about a baby, but not what you are probably thinking. Then again, knowing some of you, it may be exactly what you are thinking. lol
I’ve been dealing with some recurring migraines that now appear to be gone, and my son was sick for a few days. All that added to my blasé desires for posting lately.
Life continues to chug along in a pretty uneventful manner. Of course, for me that means nudity as a nudist, spankings as a submissive, and lots of sex as a…well? I should just let you fill in the word (re Post 271). Hee-hee.
It’s like I’ve stated before. There just isn’t anything noteworthy or any new revelations I’ve made about myself and my journey with DD. I am not lamenting the fact – after three plus years of growth and evolution, it’s about time things settled into more of a routine.
My previous post focused on my friend, Valerie. Since I once again lack anything interesting to say about myself, I will focus this post on a Kayla update.
AND IS US
She recently started her second year towards her Master’s degree. By May she should be done with school and ready to join the ranks of the underpaid working class.
When she moved in with us (it will be two years this December), our discussions centered around the thought she may move out on her own upon graduation as she would look nationally for the best job opportunity. Now, her thinking is she will stay here. The job prospects here are fine and more importantly, she wants to live with us indefinitely. We are 100% on board with that.
We try to remain cognizant of reality – the reality of our age difference. To remind everyone – I am 49, Mike is 50, and Kayla is 24. For me and Mike, we often talk to her about our concerns for experiences she may miss out on regarding life among her peers. For her, she retorts with all the experiences she has had and will continue to have regarding life with us that she would never be able to experience with her peers. And it isn’t like she doesn’t have friends a bit closer to her age – she does (well, most are in their early 30’s, but that’s still a lot closer than us). Bottom line is we love her. I love her. And she loves us. We are three!
I am going to share some very personal things about Kayla, but I have her permission and she reviewed this before I posted it.
I mentioned our foray into ABDL as part of our annual Immersion. Practically since the time she moved in with us, Kayla has experimented with a bit of age-play and ABDL. But it was more a curiosity and not as a regular thing. Well that has changed.
And she is very open and honest about what she gets from such play. It serves as a type of therapy for her. She says she emerges from each “play” session feeling a bit more reconciled with her upbringing. I’ve shared before that she wasn’t physically or sexually abused, but the emotional abuse came in the form of being ignored and verbally abused – and her mom was/is an alcoholic. The way she describes it — She leaves our “play” sessions feeling secure and loved as a little girl, replacing the feelings of insecurity and fright that she experienced as a little girl.
DO YOU HAVE ANY INSIGHTS?
I have no insights into age-play. I don’t know if the value it serves Kayla is common or not. Although I assume for some it is about reconciling a past trauma, I also assume for some it is simply a fun way to express yourself. Not all kink is born of trauma.
All that really matters for us is that it benefits her. I don’t need to know any more than that as far as my concerns for Kayla go. However, I am interested in how others feel about this. So if you are a little, or are a “daddy” or “mommy” to a little, I hope you’ll comment.
WHAT A SESSION LOOKS LIKE
I’ve read of age-play that can involve hours of play, in an elaborate child-like setting complete with décor and furnishings to match the mood. That’s not for Kayla (and if it ever is, we are totally willing to accommodate her needs).
Most of the time our sessions involve just me and her, but Mike has participated at times. We don’t have any set schedule for this play. It’s whenever Kayla needs it. There have been some days we’ve done it two or three times in a day, and some days none at all. She tells us when she is needing it.
The details vary based on the time we have and whether or not J is home. Typically it has occurred when J is at school. It goes something like this . . .
Kayla will simply say, “Can Mommy feed me.” Although the last few days she now just takes her finger and taps it against her puckered lips as a signal that she is hungry – after all, babies don’t talk!
I take her by the hand and we go into our spare bedroom. Yeah, this baby can walk when needed. I am just not strong enough to carry her. If Mike is there, he will pick her up and carry her to the room.
We don’t have it made up to look like a nursery or anything child-like about it, but we have put together a “baby drawer.” It has a blanket, diapers, baby powder, baby wipes, pacifier, and stuffed animal (it’s a little unicorn). These things aren’t hidden, but if we are to have guests staying at our house we would obviously remove these contents.
I spread the blanket on the bed or the floor and she lays down on it on her back. I put a diaper on her, complete with a few shakes of the baby powder. I put the pacifier in her mouth, hand her the stuffie, and then go to the kitchen and prepare her bottle. I warm up some milk and make two bottles and return to the room.
The bed is lengthwise against the wall. I get on the bed and prop my back up against the wall with some pillows. She then gets in my arms. If Mike is there, he lifts her up and places her in my arms. He might also put on the diaper while I get the bottles. I cradle her as best I can. She curls her legs in a semi-fetal position with her head resting in my cupped hand, another pillow propping up my elbow. and the bottom part of her legs and her feet resting on the bed. Hey, she’s about 5’4” so is just a tad too tall to be fully comfortably cradled in my arms.
If Mike is there, he sits down in a chair. We are all quiet.
I position her head in front of my breast. I lift my breast so that my nipple is on her lips. She sucks for as long as she needs. When she stops sucking, it’s my cue to get the bottle. I hold it just to the side of my breast and she takes the bottle until it is gone. We change sides to my other breast and repeat this.
It’s all very quiet while she feeds. Nothing is on in the background. I sometimes will hum and stroke her hair. It’s very surreal and serene. If Mike is there he might comment once or twice during the feeding. Something positive like, “Look how beautiful she is.” When the bottles are done I just hold her.
It’s been amazing. She has fallen asleep a few times, has even cried a few times from the emotional release it gives her. Eventually she will get restless – she never speaks – as a way to tell me she wet her diaper. I change her into a fresh diaper. I then leave the room (as does Mike if he is there).
Kayla stays by herself for as long as she needs. Sometimes she naps or just lays there awhile before getting up. On a few occasions she has even masturbated. She eventually gets up and takes off her diaper and emerges from the room when she is ready. She gets a big hug from us and the play session is over.
It’s amazing to be part of this experience for her. Kinky? Sure. Weird? Fine. Bizarre? Whatever. We don’t care what it’s called or how it looks. It just works for her and I am happy that we can fulfill that need for her. We will support her as her need for it increases, diminishes, or evolves.