266. Domestic Discipline Throwback: A Spanking two-fer

It’s been about two months since I shared a spanking story  Not because I haven’t been spanked over that time, but there haven’t been many, and none that notable or different from other spankings I get. Our recent refocusing changed that.   So here are TWO spanking stories for you.

WE INTERRUPT THIS SPANKING STORY
Before I get into that, just a quick note on my blogging.  I am behind on sharing stuff and sometimes when I get behind, I just skip over things and blog about more recent stuff, forever skipping the stuff I was behind on.  I’ve been trying not to do that.  I found I start to forget whether or not I shared certain experiences.  I’ll start to reference something and then be like, “did I ever actually share that in the first place?”  I then go back looking for it and sometimes I find that I did, and sometimes I find that did not.

Anyway, I don’t want to have to do that so am trying to just cover all the things I feel are worth sharing.  I am about a week behind on stuff.   For instance, this weekend Mike is on a business trip, and Matt is spending the weekend with me at my house.  But I don’t want to blog about that until I get you caught up on a few other things.

ZERO TOLERANCE
When Mike and I discussed our drifting from our normal D/s routine, he acknowledged he had been giving me more and more warnings over actual punishments.  The result of our conversation was that he was adopting a “zero tolerance” regarding any failures in my Duties and Obligations.   He doesn’t intend to stay at “zero tolerance,” but, Mike felt it would be easier to adopt a “no warnings” mindset to get us out of our “drift.”   It didn’t take long before it was clear to me that indeed, there would be no warnings, regardless how minor the indiscretion.

Also, for some context, Kayla and I have a 10:30 p.m. bedtime and we often go to bed before Mike.  Sometimes he might send one of us to bed and one of us gets to stay up later with him, or sometimes we both get to stay up late or neither of us do.  By the way, if we do go to sleep before him, he may wake us for sex when he does come to bed.   Oh, and of course, we sleep naked.   Okay, enough of our bedtime routine.

Oh – a bit more context –  Kayla and I have a many household chores we must do.  We typically “divide and conquer” where we will split up the work.

I had just fallen asleep and was awaken to the covers being pulled off me and one hard smack to my butt.  Then I hear Mike, “Get up Jen, someone is getting a spanking.”   I managed a groggy “Yes, Sir,” unsure exactly why but alert enough to know not to delay in obeying him.

I stood up and then he asked, “Who swept the floors after dinner, you or Kayla?”   

I know I didn’t forget to sweep the floors, so what was this about?   In my half-awake state I was fortunate to still know enough to answer him clearly, without it sounding like a question.  “It was me, Sir.”

“Both of you need to make sure all the cleaning is done after dinner.  If something is missed, both of you will be punished, and to make that point clear, Kayla, you need to get out of bed and get over here.”

Kayla got up.  Mike directed me to bend over and put my hands on the bed.  He directed Kayla to come over next to him, such that Mike was to one side of me and Kayla the other.   “Kayla, you are going to watch this so that you remember that both of you need to share in the cleaning duties and both of you will share in the consequences.”

It’s been awhile since Kayla watched me get a good discipline spanking.  I don’t mind it, it’s just that it has been awhile so it felt it a bit different.  Mike already had a paddle in his hand.  He gave me a dozen or so warm ups by hand, and then came the paddle.  Ten, then another ten a bit harder, then another ten harder than the last.

In a matter of moments I went from that surreal place between sleep and wake, to the adrenaline rush of having my ass lit up.   Mike told me to get up and then told Kayla to take my place.   Mike then spanked her as he did me.

He then instructed Kayla to stand in the corner until we returned.  He then brought me out to the kitchen and showed me that I indeed did clean the floor, but, I left the dustpan out.  I had put it down on a chair and forgot it.   Wow, Mike was serious about this zero tolerance.  I put it away and we walked back to the bedroom.  He called Kayla over and we hugged and did our Closing Ceremony.  “All is forgiven.”

Normally Mike and I don’t mix sex with discipline – meaning we don’t have sex at the conclusion of a discipline session  (Mike and Kayla often do though).  But, that night I was thankful that we all ended up having sex.  I needed the relaxation of an orgasm to help get back to sleep.  Spankings can be such an adrenaline rush. 

SPANKING #2 – REMINDER SPANKINGS
I get a quick spanking anytime I leave the house – as a reminder to remain submissive in my thinking even when not home.  I was running a little late for a lunch date with a friend.  I wasn’t going to be late if I left promptly.   I went to Mike and asked for my reminder spanking.  He said he would be there in a minute.

Mike came to the room a few minutes later – much longer than I was anticipating.  I knew better than to complain or rush him, but my attitude was clearly that of, “Come on, Mike, get on with it, I’ve got to get going.”   Mike asked me, “What’s the rush?”

That was my out.  I could have recognized I was putting off an “annoyed” vibe and apologized for it.  Instead, I complained.  “I don’t want to be late, and this doesn’t have to take so long.”

Mike said, “It takes as long as I want it to take.  This spanking is going to be double.  One set as your reminder for when you are out of the house.  The other set for your reminder that when it is time for a reminder spanking, you won’t be annoyed or try to rush me.”

He took me into our bathroom as J was home and it is furthest away from the rest of the home such that noise shouldn’t be an issue.  I was already dressed to go.  I expected Mike to just have me remove my panties and bend over, as that is usual for a reminder.  But instead, he told me to completely disrobe.

Once naked, he then had me open my mouth.  He took a bar of soap, ran some water over it, and told me to stick out my tongue.  Yes, a mouth soaping.  After lathering up my tongue, I had to hold the soap bar in my mouth.  Mike then had me bend over and he gave me several warm ups, then 10 very hard ones with a thin paddle, 5 on each cheek.  Then 10 very hard ones with a wider paddle, again, 5 on each cheek.  Not satisfied with the result, he then gave me three more on each cheek, full force.  He inspected my ass, and then gave me one on each cheek, again full force.

This was not just a reminder spanking, it was a disciplinary punishment, no doubt about it.  And with all mouth soapings, when it was done, I got on my knees and Mike peed into my mouth.  I stood and swished and spit into the sink, then got back on my knees and repeated until Mike did not have to go any more.  I was then allowed to rinse with some water.   Mike hugged me, “All is forgiven.”

I got dressed.  “By the way, Jen, I don’t want you to wear panties on your lunch date.”

I removed my panties, and with one additional instruction, that I will share later, I happily left for my lunch date with my friend, albeit a bit late.    What was that instruction and who was I having lunch with?   Next post!

NEXT:  Free to Be: Seeking Domestic Discipline

168. New Domestic Discipline Rules

Mike and I had a long meeting regarding revising our contract that expires on October 17.  We made a lot of headway on changes.  

There are six primary categories of things we are looking to change:

1. DUTIES & OBLIGATIONS  (i.e. rules) 
2. RITUALS (or as Mike is calling, “refocusing” activities – this is new!)
3. MAINTENANCE SESSIONS  (Mike wants to codify our Thursday sessions and make them permanent).
4. HARD LIMITS  (I am looking to expand them).
5. CONDENSE disciplining measures to give Mike more latitude (more of a formality since we have long since mutually deviated from some of the specifics of the contract). 
6. VOCABULARY CHANGES  (Re-label “Rewards” as “Discipline” and possibly other miscellaneous changes).

We started from #1 and are working our way down.  I’ll post about each one separately – which means many of you will probably find this a bit boring re no discipline stories.  Perhaps you’ll find it entertaining to imagine the spankings I’ll get as I learn to incorporate these new rules!  No?  Well, sorry, but I discovered I enjoy going back and reading my early musings and thought processes.  Older posts serve as a marker regarding where I was and how far I have progressed and changed.  So if for no other reason than to amuse myself for future reference . . .

CHANGES TO DUTIES & OBLIGATIONS
While I shared with Mike that I did not want to dictate things in the way I did for our last contract, he did tell me he wants my feedback.  He said perhaps I could still “influence” without dictating.  He reminded me that ultimately our DD is still for my benefit and he needs my help in ensuring it stays that way.  He also pointed out that in some cases he has more of a general desire for what he feels is right for me and he needs my input coming up with the specifics to fulfill that desire.  In other words, “Jenny, you got to give your two cents!”

My current Duties and Obligations are broken into three parts:
1. Honesty.  2.  Obedience.  3.  Safety.

Obedience has several sub-sets, three of which are Household Cleanliness, Physical Self-Care, and Emotional Self-Care.  (You can read about all my Duties and Obligations in our Contract).

HOUSEHOLD CLEANLINESS (i.e. Chores)
Mike would like me to have a set schedule that I create.  Such as laundry Tuesdays, ironing day, etc.  He wants at least two separate half-days dedicated to baking (pies, cookies, whatever).  He also wants at least one half-day a week dedicated to something specific that I would choose and commit to during our Maintenance Session.   For instance, I might commit to reorganizing the closet or some other irregular task.    

These things are pretty much (but not exactly) all things I do anyway (I don’t bake much).  And Kayla can still help (and she helps a lot, although not as much since she started back at school).

EMOTIONAL SELF CARE
He said part of the goal with a structured chore schedule was to better organize my household duties into smaller daily bite sizes.  Once done, I was done for the day.   He said the expectation – in fact, the RULE, would be no jumping ahead to the next days chores.  And by setting expectations as to what would be done when, I would avoid my occasional habit of over committing to my duties of the day.   His plan is that the end result would be a furthering of my “Emotional Self-care” obligations because I would be more organized and avoid the stress of over committing.   Lastly, my schedule would include structure down time as well.   It was not about doing more chores (other than the baking), it was about better organizing them.  This sounded great to me!

PHYSICAL SELF CARE – GRACE AND ELEGANCE
Mike wants to implement rules about my “style,” as he put it.  This would fall under my “Physical Self-Care” requirements.  He noticed I was a bit taken aback by this and he quickly clarified it in a more positive light.  He said he wants to add more “grace and elegance” for me – and he clarified, “Grace and Elegance aren’t two women I met.”  He wants me to “walk, sit, dress, and speak” more gracefully and be more sensitive to my appearance regarding clothes, hair and make up – and he wasn’t just talking about when I go out.  He wants to see this at home.   He wants fewer t-shirts and more skirts, sundresses, and stuff like that. 

Wow!  This was not what I was expecting.  It seemed very un-Mike like, but I recognize that is only because we have never really focused this much on his preferences for me.  Mike was quick to say that he was never bothered by my style.  I am not a slob and look and dress just fine — but he wants to take it up a notch.  He felt my inward submissive changes deserved some outward changes as well.   I joked, “So, Sir, may I buy a petticoat or two?”       

He smiled and said the specific attire would be somewhat up to me.  He asked me to present him with my specific ideas that I felt supported a greater “grace and elegance.”
I am glad he is allowing my input on this.  I love him, and he is my Dom, but women’s fashion, albeit circa 1950, is not his forte.

I‘ll peruse those old 1940’s and 50’s “How to” books on being a housewife.  I’ve read bits of them before and always thought they were a bit hilarious.  I never thought I’d be using them as reference material!  I think I’ll go all-in and get a really cool 50’s retro-housewife hairdo.  Second only to satisfying Mike’s wishes, I am very excited that this means there is a shopping spree and visit to my stylist in the offing.  Yea me! 

PHYSICAL SELF CARE – DIET AND EXERCISE
Also under Physical Self-Care, Mike wants me to exercise every morning after I drop J off at school.  It would entail walking or running around the block or at the park – he would come up with the distance and may increase it over time.   Mike said, “time to put your Fitbit to greater use.”   He also said that I must ask permission for cookies, cake, ice cream, pie, or any other deserts, any time I want them, and abide by any other food or drink restriction that he may impose from time to time (See Post 163 re the “tea” incident).  Again, I am game.  Kayla and I try to walk a few times a week, so this will just make it more frequent and make it mandatory.   I am in!

SAFETY
Currently our Safety provision includes “Risk of Judgment of Family or Friends” which recognizes that others may unfairly judge or misconstrue our lifestyle.  As such, we don’t share TTWD with anyone unless we both mutually agree.  Mike wants to change this so that he is the only decider in this, not me.  Further, he wants us to more outwardly live our lifestyle.  Not that we tell people, and not that he would reprimand me in front of others, and definitely never punish me in front of others.  But, calling him Sir and everything else about my submissive demeanor should be on display at all times.  THIS IS BIG.  I’ve usually refrained from calling him “Sir” in front of others.  

I am willing to do it and put aside my reservations as it is what Mike wants.  We talked about how to handle comments we are sure to get from family members (our older kids?), or even his coworkers, and others.  We basically will take a “no comment’ stance.  A matter-of-fact, “Yeah, I am treating Mike very nicely, and?”

Oh, and also, at least for now, other than in private, Mike said that when I ask him something I don’t have to say, “Sir, may I…” or “Sir, would you like…” or whatever it may be.   I would just refer to him as Mike in my statements or questions about or to him; however, all my responses to him would be “Yes, Sir,” or “No, Sir,” or, “Well, Sir….”  

This will take a little getting use to and it will be interesting to see how people react.  Part of me gets a tingle, but part of me is a bit apprehensive.

Overall, I am very happy that Mike has taken to heart the things I have told him re me wanting this to be his DD FOR ME and not simply MY DD FOR ME.  

Next I’ll post about “Rituals” that Mike wants to incorporate in our new agreement.  My Dom is on a roll!

NEXT:  169.  Adding Ritual to our DD

 

 

49. Revealing More

This post is a bit of a ramble and probably dry for many of you.   I want to reveal more about myself outside of DD.  It is mundane, but I wanted to give some insight that parts of my life are probably not all that different than yours.

Writing all this also reminds me how fortunate I am. I feel I generally exude an appreciation about my lot in life.  I am an upbeat person, which I hope comes across in my writing.  I find the good in life.  Typically the only attention I give to the bad is whatever time it takes to subdue it with a glance.  Okay, maybe not as easy as a glance.  Anyway, this self-reflection has helped serve as a deeper reminder of my fortune.

First, my life has been far less hectic and stressful over the last year, sans a few exceptions.  I credit several things with that, including our DD lifestyle (which began in March 2015).  But another change that was just as significant was that we put our youngest back in school last fall.  I home schooled him prior to that.

KIDS
I mentioned before our youngest has special needs.  I don’t work outside the home and as a former school counselor who considered being a teacher, I felt up to the task of home schooling.  We tried the public schools early on and despite their best efforts, they couldn’t provide what I knew I was capable of providing of him.  So we home schooled until last school year.  He started high school last year, a grade behind, and with special ed classes.  His emotional needs have decreased significantly, perhaps a combination of the 3 M’s – maturity, medication, and mom.  He still is probably three years or so younger than his peers from a maturity standpoint, and depending on the subject matter, 1-3 years behind intellectually.  While some kids with his condition actually go to college and live independently, his form and his degree of the condition will preclude that.

We felt he could possibly succeed in school so we gave it a try.  Our expectations were low and I was certain I was going to have to pull him out at some point — but the school did a great job and he thrived.  So, having him in school during the school year not only has benefited him, but it lessened a major responsibility that I had.  I was still very involved and spent a lot of time volunteering at the school, but that’s a far cry from having to home school him.

Of course, it’s been summer time which means no school.  I have a great support system in place to help out.  Mike is wonderful, and often gives me a day out on a weekend where he stays home or takes our son somewhere and I am free to relax, go shopping, or whatever.  My sister also tries to pick up our son once a month and take him on an outing.  Then we have my parents who take him for two weeks out of the summer.  All of that support helps me keep my batteries charged.  Despite his tremendous improvements over the last few years, caring for his needs requires tremendous patience, love, and attention.

As I mentioned, I stay at home.  Our middle child is away at college and was only home for a few weeks this summer as he went back for summer school.  Our oldest is on his own and doing very well for himself.   My husband, Mike, works in sales and splits time between the actual office and his home office.  He typically works from home every Friday, and it isn’t uncommon for him to go in the office in the morning, then come home for lunch and work the afternoon from home.

HUSBAND
Mike makes good money.  We aren’t wealthy, but we are comfortable.  We haven’t always been, but Mike’s worked hard and moved up within the ranks of his company to a well-paid position.  Well enough that I don’t have to work, we get all the bills paid, and have enough left over for a vacation or two each year.

Anyone who has read through my blog will see that he has grown a lot in our DD journey.  He is a kind and gentle person, and being Dominant is as contrary to what people would think of him as being Submissive is to what people would think of me.  It is interesting that our personas outside the household are very different than within the household.

Mike and I have been married 25 years now (recently had our 25^th anniversary).  He just turned 48 and I am turning 47 this month.   We knew each other in high school and actually dated on and off a couple of times in high school.  Even when we weren’t dating each other, we were good friends.

SHOPPING
Since I mentioned finances, let me talk shopping!  They are related after all.   Early in our marriage I let my compulsion for shopping get out of hand.  Over time we were able to climb out of the debt hole, and then there was still the occasional momentary lapse into a shopping spree.  I became really good at returning things.  DD has helped in that I now have to ask permission to purchase anything beyond the groceries, toiletries, and cleaning supplies.

I am the type of shopper that looks at an object and immediately experiences the potential of that object.  I don’t mean just thinks of the potential, but actually feels it emotionally.  Consider a beach towel.  I’ve got a dozen of them.  I don’t need another.  But I see a really cute one and my buying decision is not about need. It is about feeling the sound of popping the towel on a sunny beach as I spread it across the sand.  The warmth of the sand between my toes, the sound of the ocean waves gently tapping against the beach.  The feeling of relaxation with not a care in the world.  These sights, sounds, and emotions would just rush in at the sight of the towel.  I want that experience to continue and buying it will give me that experience at least a little longer.   Pre-DD I had eventually learned some coping skills to try and suppress these emotional rushes.  They were highly successful but not perfect.  DD has been fool-proof.  I simply must ask anytime I want to buy stuff.  Definitely a buzz kill.

CHORES
I’ve talked a lot about chores before and it may sound like I do everything.  I do a lot, but I am home a lot.  Mike does help out.  Mike has always been a “clean as you go” kind of person.  He still is and is not one to leave his own things laying around.  That helps, especially for someone who is a “clean it later” kind of person.  We have two laundry baskets and the rule is we do laundry as soon as they are full, whatever day that may be.  It is my duty to take care of this but there are times Mike will take it upon himself to put a load in early, even put them in the dryer, fold, and put them away, just because he could.

Cooking-wise, we typically eat out anywhere from once to twice a week.  Mike likes to cook, but it isn’t always practical with his work schedule.  He typically cooks on Saturdays, and sometimes he does so Sunday and a weekday if he gets off early.   So, I am typically cooking 3-4 times a week.

I’ve got in the habit of vacuuming and sweeping every day, so I got that covered.  Not the entire house, but at least one or two rooms every day.  The one area Mike would get an “F” if I were grading him is the bathrooms.   It’s been that way since we were first married.  Somehow that was always my domain.  Oh well, the yard work is entirely his domain!

ADULT TIME
We were fortune to find a great sitter, but she isn’t always available.  She is a college student studying education with emphasis on special-ed.  She should get credit hours for watching our son!!  While he is in high school now, he can’t be alone.   My sister is often the go-to person to watch our son.  That gives Mike and I at least one date-night a week.   We either go out on our own to dinner and movie, or sometimes go out with John and Donna, or, we go over to John and Donna’s to hang out (i.e. some very adult time).

I mentioned before that Mike and I went to a couple FetLife functions.  Since my son was injured shortly after we went to our first functions, we had to put that extra socializing on hold as we couldn’t’ expect anyone to watch him with his increased needs.  Things are finally back in order and we plan to revisit that.  We don’t have any specific expectations, other than mingle with some like-minded folks and see where the mingling takes us.

POLITICS and RELIGION
You don’t think I would seriously go there?  Talk about a major buzz kill!  Let me just say my beliefs regarding those topics are anchored deeply with my strong belief in equality, empathy, and liberty.  Therefore, it goes without saying that my politics are x and my religious beliefs are y.

ALONE TIME
I get a reasonable amount of alone time.  It is even prescribed in our DD.  Mike may actually order it from time to time.  I am not talking about punishment oriented alone time like standing in a corner or writing lines.   I mean time alone at home when Mike takes our son out, or time alone at home while Mike attends to our son and I just relax (watching tv, web surfing, reading, blogging, masturbating, or whatever).

You can tell just how much free time I have by how often I blog.  The last four or five days have been great regarding my free time, but I worked hard to get that free time!   Maybe I should have been masturbating more and blogging less?

OUR NEW DYNAMIC
If you read the last post, you’ll know we are entering a bit of a different dynamic in our Domestic Discipline.  Mike continued to be strict last night and all day today.  There are some new rules but pretty mundane stuff, mostly various household organizational stuff.  Basically, it’s all his pet peeves that I must now adopt.  I am not saying that sarcastically or in a bothersome tone.  It is just the simplest way to explain it.  We all have our pet peeves, and now he has his “pet” to address his… hee hee.   I am happy to take that on as it is part of the service and submission that I want to give.

That’s a bit more about my days. See, it isn’t all just living one punishment to the next.  Of course, that’s the more interesting stuff to read about and the more interesting stuff to write about.  Speaking of interesting stuff, I mentioned before that Mike got a waxing kit and we were going to go over to John and Donna’s and she was going to give me a Brazillian.   Well, she had some issue arise. They didn’t share the details with us but suffice to say as part of a punishment John was not allowing her to have friends over.  We’ve come to really enjoy our time with them.  Perhaps I should share more of those stories?   Maybe next time!

Thanks for sticking with this post and learning more about my daily life.

Next:  50. Five Acts of Service