Tag Archives: caning

145. Another spanking / Immersion Preview

145Slippers

My M/s immersion is coming soon.  Exact date TBD as still coordinating with my parents.  That didn’t sound right.  I am not, of course, coordinating our M/s immersion with them – just the dates they will have my son staying with them.  My sister and her husband are also staying with my parents, as are her kids.  She’ll be a great help with my son as my parents are getting up there in age and the needs of my son can require a lot of physical and emotional energy.

Mike has shared a few things he has planned for us but is keeping a lot of it under wraps.  He wants to keep a “shock and awe” aspect to having to do the unexpected.  Oh my!

This led to another spanking!  I am beginning to think my Thursday canings/mini-Maintenance Sessions are unnecessary.  Mike calls those sessions at his discretion but has called them every week, (including tonight! – ouch!) since we began them about four weeks ago.   The purpose is to provide me added focus and release.  I’ve shared before that when I’ve gone a long period of time without a spanking I’ve actually asked Mike to give me one, “just because.”  He thought having these extra sessions would help.  I agree that they do, but only when I’ve been punishment-free for a while.   Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case lately but Mike has still called for these extra sessions.  I may ask him about that during our formal Sunday sessions.  

The recent string of punishments have had more to do with my thinking than they do with specific actions.  That’s consistent with the evolution of my submission that I shared in Post 143.   There was the spanking I just shared in my prior post, and also the one in Post 142.  There have been a few others.  

It isn’t all spankings and punishment.  There is plenty of dialogue too.  We have both talked about what it means to us to have me surrender my thoughts to him.  It is a delicate balance.  Neither of us intend for me to lose who I am.  I have a brain and I will use it.  Our intent is for me to not only be more outwardly focused on Mike and his needs and desires, but also to be more internally focuses on him regarding my internal “monologue.”   That’s an extremely submissive state of mind.  

I feel I have achieved the level of submission that we both desire regarding various acts of service (sexual and otherwise).   Other than our Immersion fun, I don’t crave more acts of service, nor does Mike.  We are aligned and in balance on that, which is a great and fortunate thing to achieve and something I do not take for granted.

What I am now craving is to purge certain thoughts I have.  Okay, purge may be unrealistic — but at least lessen the frequency of certain thoughts.  Thoughts that lead to actions.  Actions which are at the core of the Duties and Obligations that I not only imposed on myself, but also those that are important to Mike.  

I don’t know how long it will take to get to the state of mind I am looking for, but I think I am moving along that path very quickly.  Maybe more than half way already?  I don’t know.  Much of it was simply an awareness.  Now that I am aware, I am more in tune and deliberate in my thinking.  While some “wrong” thoughts crop up, I typically squash them in nanoseconds.  Plus, I find they are cropping up less often.   The best way I could put it is that my default thinking is becoming submissive and focused on Mike.  Before, I would frequently have non-submissive thoughts that I had to think through and “defeat” in order to act submissive.  It’s like retraining my mind, such that submissiveness is a reflex and doesn’t require thought.  

THE SPANKING
My latest punishment was when I told Mike that I wasn’t planning on blogging about certain aspects of our immersion because my sisters might read it.  Mike spanked me because he said my thinking was a violation of my Self-Care clause in our Contract.  He used a pair of slippers, which is actually a first for us.  When he started I thought, “Well, that doesn’t feel like much” but I learned even slippers can pack a whollup if used hard enough and with enough strikes.  Yep, a very red bottom indeed!

While not an explicit violation, he said it clearly violated the spirit and intent of that clause.  He said, “You are being Rewarded because you were going to sacrifice something that gives you joy because of your desire to share certain things with your sisters.  I will not allow you to set a precedent and start censoring your blog because of concerns about what they think.  You said you weren’t concerned about them thinking anything negative, so either you were being dishonest with yourself and me, or your weren’t. Either way, you will share those things in your blog and you will be spanked.”    

In hindsight, I don’t regret  telling my sisters about TTWD, but perhaps I shouldn’t have told them about my blog!  Mike also reminded me what he said back when he agreed to allow me to “come out” to my sisters.  He was prophetic in that at that time he said there is no way to anticipate all the implications and once out, there was no un-telling them.

It is unnecessary for me to worry about what my sisters will think.  For one, I’ve shared a lot of things that would be major embarrassments for most people to share with their siblings.  In addition, my relationship with my sisters is unbreakable.   We already share so much with each other and there is no judgement, only love.  So with that, here are things Mike has shared with me and Kayla about some of the things he has planned for us.

IMMERSION PLANS
Full Body Flog

He said that there would be a day of extended flogging, spanking, and other punishments.  He said while there would be the requisite focus on our butt and breasts, he was going to also focus on things we typically don’t include — thighs, back, stomach, legs, palms, feet, and yes, the pussy.  

Jen’s “Special” Day 
One of the days I will basically be an “animal” for the day.  I must not speak, must only walk on all fours, eat out of bowls, etc.  He is allowing me to use a straw to drink from — it’s hard for humans to lap up liquids.  Our tongues just aren’t designed for that.  The more undignified part of it is not being able to use the bathroom.  He has designed a sort of large litter box for me to us.   Oh the joy.  . . NOT.   Kayla will assist in any necessary hygiene issues.

Kayla’s “Special” Day
For one of the days Kayla will basically be a “baby” for a day.  No speaking, must crawl to move around, must be fed by others, and she will be diapered and not allowed to use the bathroom.   An exploration of DDlg / ABDL.   Not to mention what I shared before about the pursuit of her “gang bang” fantasy.  I know that is a harsh word, but it is the word she actually uses, so, that’s how we refer to it. 

Other Stuff
He said we will not be allowed to wear a bra or panties when we go out.  He actually has a particular sun dress in mind for each of us to wear.  The fit is such that the ta-ta’s and the vajay-jay are well covered as long as we stay aware of the position of our bodies.  Lean too far one way or the other, or bend over, and, well, someone is in for a show. Going bra-less is less of an issue for Kayla, whose perky breasts do a good job of standing up on their own, but for my 3-kids later droopers, it is very obvious when I am not wearing a bra.  

Some of the less salacious ignominious activities are a “zero tolerance” on non-submissive behaviors.   He is already pretty strict on this but, as he puts it, he normally doesn’t go looking for reasons to punish us.  He will during the immersion.  

The examples he gave were things like making sure we immediately stop what we are doing when he is talking and make eye contact with him throughout.  Another is showing that we are enthusiastic about what he says and asks of us and that we are ensuring he is comfortable and doesn’t need anything (sexual or otherwise).  A new thing he added, which I find interesting, is that when we do speak to him he wants us to touch him.  Not sexually – it could just be touching his arm or back.  He said, “no talking to me unless you have physical contact with me in some way.”   He said the only exception is if we are restrained or have been told not to move.   This sounds like a fun challenge.  See, not everything involves a punishment or sex!

Those things are just SOME of what he has planned.  Last year was both physically and mentally challenging and it sounds like this year will be no different.  Who would have thunk it back when I first had this “idea” to pursue domestic discipline!  Oh the places we go! 

Our immersion will start in four to ten days.  Still working on the firm date.  Like last year, I might not be posting during it but at least I’ll have some fresh material to share when it’s done.        

NEXT: Post 146.  Slow Down!

 

137. Spanked over a new Maintenance Spanking

137

Over the last few months I have had few, but harsher, punishments, as I have done an excellent job of adhering to my Duties and Obligations with a few big exceptions which I’ve posted about. Mike decided it would be helpful if we instituted an extra Maintenance Session that he will call for at his discretion.  If he feels they are needed they will be on Thursday evenings.  

It will be an abbreviated version of our Sunday Maintenance.  I don’t present my journal or masturbate, and it is not as reflective as the Sunday routine.  One other difference is that Mike said I will be caned versus the hand spankings that are part of the Sunday routine.   It starts with a caning, there is brief dialogue where he may ask me some questions and/or lecture, then a final caning.  He said it would be as many and with whatever intensity he thinks I need.   He said he would let me know each Thursday around dinner time as to whether we will have a session that evening.

Mike said he hoped this extra session would provide me added focus and also serve as an additional release.  Perhaps it will avoid the need for me to ask for a spanking which I’ve done a few times when I’ve gone a lengthy period of time without a punishment.    

Bratting or Distraction?
The wondering and anticipation during the day on Thursday is a punishment by itself.   First off, the cane is my least favorite spanking implement, and Mike knows it.   This has a potential for putting me in a conundrum.  Will this motivate me to “brat” or have some minor infraction so that I am spanked Monday through Wednesday such that Mike feels the Thursday session isn’t necessary?   Of course, there is always the risk I still get the Thursday maintenance regardless of my behavior for the week.   I don’t believe I would intentionally “brat.”  I’ve never done it before.  I think getting a spanking under false pretenses would be unfulfilling.  

I also wonder if the anticipation could be a mental distraction such that I don’t correctly execute my Duties and Obligations.   Ug!   I would much rather just make it an automatic Thursday session versus it being at Mike’s discretion.

I got spanked!
Normally when Mike makes a “proclamation” he does not solicit questions from me.  He simply asks if I understood what he stated.  This time, after he announced his decision to hold these sessions, he specifically said, “Do you have any questions?”  I didn’t hesitate and I asked him if he could just make these automatic.   

He then told me to bend over and he administered an Immediate Spanking.  After the first round of spankings he asked me why I earned this.  I figured it was because I questioned him, but I didn’t understand why I was spanked because, after all, he asked me if I had questions.  Because I didn’t correctly state why I was spanked, I received the customary second round of spankings and then he explained.  Yes, he asked me if I had questions, but my response to him wasn’t a question.  It was a request.  We have an agreement that when I ask questions they are only for clarity as to what is being requested of me.  If I want to question why or suggest an alternative, I am to do that only at a Maintenance Session.  In my haste, I questioned him in an unacceptable manner.

This event to me is further evidence of Mike’s evolution as a Dom.  Not too long ago I think he would have missed the nuance of a question that is a point of clarify versus one that is a request.  Or, if he did catch it, in the past he might have overlooked it — Not any more!  He’s the Dom and expects certain behaviors of me.   This is another example of the clear evolution of my DD.  He isn’t just enforcing my explicit expectations of myself regarding specific behaviors that I prescribed.  Instead,  he is enforcing both of our expectations that I be submissive to him.    

It may be surprising but this excites me!  Okay, not right at first, but it didn’t take long to excite me.   I admit, in the moment my first thought was “Really, you’re spanking me for that?”  To my credit, even though I thought that, I still didn’t hesitate to accept the spanking.  And, it didn’t take long into the spanking for my thoughts in my mind to change from “Really?” to “Thank you!”   And my next thought was, “Does this mean I don’t get a Maintenance caning this Thursday?”   

I thought that, but I knew better than to verbalize it!   We shall see this Thursday!

NEXT:  138. Party Time. The Naked Bench.

 

 

 

119. The Stick of Truth, Part III

sotpart3

This series of three posts are unlike what I typically write about.  I originally wrote out a post that simply reflected on these events of these posts and I just peppered that reflection with some of the details.  The problem was I felt it didn’t really convey the experience well enough, thus I decided to first write about the details and then the reflections and lessons learned.  

PUNISHMENT CONTINUED
In the morning Mike instructed me to get J off to school as usual and that he would be going into work a little late.  Kayla said she needed to use the bathroom.  He told her to leave the blindfold on and he led her to the restroom.  Once done he returned her to the bed and removed all the covers.  He then tied her to the bed.  Our bed is not the most conducive to restraints.   The only way to make it work well is to be completely splayed out, like in a giant “X.”   One arm on one side of the headboard, one on the other, and ankles to each side of the footboard.   It takes some extra rope to make it all reach as it is a king sized bed.  He again applied the suckers to her breasts and said that she would remain there until I returned from taking  J to school.  I woke up J and Mike joined us for breakfast

When I returned Mike called out for me from the bedroom.  When I entered the room I saw that he had Kayla on laying on her stomach and he was finishing up tying the last restraint.  She was still in the “X” position but now on her stomach instead of her back (the suckers were removed).  Mike had eight or nine different spanking implements laid out on the bed alongside Kayla.

Mike told me to quickly pick one.  I grabbed one of the short wooden paddles, shaped a bit like a ping-pong paddle but a little bigger.  He took it from me and gave Kayla three very hard swats on each cheek.  He then gave me the paddle and told me to give her 10 in row on each check with the same intensity.  If any were not to his liking he would administer 5 additional ones to Kayla.  I gave the first set of 20 and Kayla and fortunately did so to his satisfaction.  He then had me choose and repeat with another paddle, then another, then another.  Kayla was crying.

I had finally had enough and asked Mike what he was doing.  He sternly said, “I have Kayla’s trust, don’t I have yours?”  I thought for a second and said, “Yes, Sir.”  I really didn’t understand what was going on.  I still didn’t know for sure what this was all about, but, Mike has never let me down before and I do trust him.  I just wasn’t sure if all the stuff with Kayla had perhaps clouded his judgment.  (Remember my post regarding the Stanford Experiment Post 114. Resist! And remain Kinky!.) 

With that, Mike told to choose another implement, and then another.  Soon the only one left was the cane. We only got the cane because Kayla asked for it.  It had been used before (on both of us) but not after this long of a severe spanking session.  Mike pointed to the top of her buttocks and said he wanted to see a stripe “here”, then pointed to two other areas and said “here” and “here.”  Kayla cried very loudly with each one.  Mike then continued to point lower on her buttocks and all the way to her upper thighs, “Here, here, and here.”   When done he said he wasn’t satisfied with the stripes and to repeat, so I did.Before I could finish Kayla called out her “yellow” safe word, which meant we would pause or change things up. 

Mike said “Okay, Kayla, let’s give you a few minutes and you tell us when you are ready to proceed.”  He called me over and whispered in my ear, “Get the prison strap and I want you to keep spanking her with it until she uses her safe-word again.  We are going to continue until she calls “Red.”

My thoughts went to the few times Mike brought me to my limits and I called “Red.” (which for me is “Mercy.”)  I was thinking that it probably would have been hard for someone else had to stand by and watch me at that time, yet, I look back fondly on those punishments.  I knew I had to put aside my protective instincts when it comes to Kayla and recognize that she thrives in being submissive    While I was able to do just that, my mind was still swirling with exactly what led to this.  Was there something else that happened when Kayla was talking with Mike?   Was this because of the cussing?   Why was Mike having me administer the spankings, both the night before and this morning?  I knew there was more to this than I understood at the time. 

“I am ready, Sir,” Kayla said.  The thoughts in my head then shifted to whether I should strike hard, hoping to get to red faster, or get there over a long series of strikes?  Her ass was already fiery red, and the stripes from the cane showed boldly.  I thought I would start pretty hard and hope she called “red” soon.  She cried very loudly with each strike, and I just tried to block it all out and kept striking her every few seconds.  I didn’t keep count, but she took a lot, maybe ten, maybe a dozen, before she again called “yellow.”  

I wished Mike would just tell her that this wasn’t going to stop until she said “Red.”  I’ve learned to sense when a punishment was going to be never-ending.  While I never call “Mercy” until I truly reach my limit, it is helpful for me to recognize these types of punishments so that it becomes a battle of my own will.  I was concerned that Kayla had never been pushed to her limit, and may not recognize it and may take more than she physically should allow.   

“I am ready, Sir.”  Mike then told Kayla that we would be going back to the cane and they would be harder than before.  Kayla was still crying heavily but managed an “Okay, Sir.”  This time Mike took the cane and gave her a very hard strike that loudly popped when it hit.  Kayla let out a scream followed quickly by “red, red, red,”

Mike untied her and held her for some time.  She continued to sob as he held her and she was saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”   Mike calmly told her there was nothing to apologize for, and that everything was okay.  He didn’t let go of her until her sobs subsided.

He then called me over and told me to get on my knees in front of the two of them.  Mike was standing with Kayla’s head still buried in his chest, tears still coming from her eyes but she was no longer wailing.  Mike then began his lecture.

“Kayla shared with me that you told her to not tell me something, that you felt it would be best if you told me whatever it is, versus having Kayla tell me, is that true?”

“Yes, Sir,” I responded

“While you may have had good intentions, it seems to me that you forgot or felt it unimportant that we already addressed the two of you conspiring to break rules (See Post 109. The Tuck, The Spank, and the Slumber).  Which one was it, did you forget, or just felt it was unimportant?”

I’ve learned that these aren’t rhetorical questions and he expects me to either choose one or state another.   In addition, I knew the questions wouldn’t stop until I quit trying to justify breaking a rule.  “Sir, I know it is important to not encourage Kayla to break her rules, or to break mine.  And yes, I did feel that was less important than me talking to you first.”

“So, not only did you encourage Kayla to break a rule, but then Kayla accommodated your request.  That is why Kayla earned this Reward, and she will earn such a Reward anytime this happens.  I told you both before that this type of Transgression was serious, and I should not worry about the two you working together to break rules.  I expect one of you to help prevent the other from breaking a rule.  And Jen, as Kayla is submissive to you, it is even more egregious for you to put Kayla in such a predicament.  This punishment was intended to give Kayla something she would not forget so that she would think twice the next time you did anything to encourage her to break a rule.  It also gives you something to think about if she encouraged you to break one.”

Then he added, “Whoever instigates the rule breaking will be the one to administer the punishment on the one who went along with it.  Do you both understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” we both responded.

So now, Jen, tell me what it was that was so important that you needed to tell me about it before Kayla? “

DOH!   Okay, before we get to that, let me say a few things about the experience up until that point.

REFLECTION
What I write here doesn’t do justice to the amount of discussion and reflection that occurred.  Simply put, this experience helped me realize that I need to think of Kayla as an adult who not only chooses to be submissive, but thrives in her submission.  In addition, I need to dispel my preconceived notions of what it was going to be like with Kayla in the household.  I shared before that “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” (Post 81. Expectations).  Before Kayla moved in I tried hard to get everyone on the same page with clear expectations, but sometimes you just can’t predict where things will go.  At the time, Kayla wasn’t sure of her needs or how her desires would evolve.  Despite her honesty with what she was feeling and thinking at the time, she now has a much better sense of herself and realizes her needs are not going to be fulfilled with simply following my DD.  

KAYLA’S NEEDS
This experience told me I still didn’t completely “get it” regarding reconciling my domestic discipline with Kayla’s needs.  I first wrote about this in Post 111. DD Jenny Style vs. Kayla Style.   Kayla has now clearly articulated her needs and expectations.  In her words, “She is Mike’s.”  She says she feels pain when she is not submissive, not honest, and not completely surrendered to Mike.  She says the emotional pain of letting him down is worse than any spanking.  She wants to be fully observant to all his wants and needs without thought of her own desires.  I disrespected those feelings by asking her to keep something from Mike, even if just for a moment.  Of course, I didn’t really understand how deep those feelings were.  I do now.

I know understand and accept that Kayla’s relationship with Mike has nothing to do with Domestic Discipline.  While there is some overlap in acts of service and punishments, her relationship with Mike is clearly Dominant/Submissive, and has some Master/Slave overtones.

MY NEEDS
I have never been threatened by Kayla’s needs nor had any concerns, and that is still the case.  Her needs don’t change what I get out of being submissive, or change what Mike expects and deserves from me. I enjoy and thrive within the domestic discipline that has evolved between Mike and I.  I also love and admire him for his added responsibility of being a Dom to Kayla.  It actually turns me on to watch him in that role.   

From the start my hopes for Kayla were for her to find what fulfilled her, and those hopes haven’t changed.  I will continue to talk with her to help ensure she is honest with her self assessments.  “Self-knowledge” is so important.  As we already learned in just two months, your understanding of your needs can change over time, and if you don’t stay in touch with yourself, it is hard to act on those changing needs or voice those changes to those around you that aren’t understanding your needs have changed.  Kayla had actually been trying to voice this for a while, but these events allowed her to clearly articulate her need for a distinct D/s relationship with Mike.

Oh, and Kayla doesn’t hold any grudge for me “getting her into trouble” and believe me, I will make sure to never “conspire” with her on anything.  And I continue to be her “Ma’am.”

OH. . . THE SOAPING
I decided against providing details, but yes, Mike followed through with the “rinsing” punishment with Kayla regarding her cussing.  Kayla said it was much like other punishments where us submissive’s have a love/hate relationship with the punishment.  I’ll take her word for it.   

NEXT: 120. Am I a feminist? (Epic Rant)

 

 

   

 

 

 

115. My Abundant Life

abundance

I’ve realized that I prefer to blog about things that have happened several days ago and/or have reached some sort of conclusion versus blogging as events unfold or where the implications are uncertain.  I think I am just more eager to share something once I have reconciled it in my mind.  I guess that’s why I tend to be upbeat in my posts (or at least think I am).  With some exception, I tend not to post during times of indecisiveness or worry.  The result is I tend to write when I have good feelings about resolved situations and optimism about the future.  Not sure what that says about me, but, it’s a pattern I’ve noticed with myself.  This is defintely one of those posts!  

OPEN MARRIAGE?
Anyway, I thought I’d post about Kayla but in a different way than before.  More about what she has meant to me and my relationship with Mike.. You could call our marriage an “open marriage” but that label is not entirely accurate.  I would call it “situational openness.”  Thus far the only situations where we have swapped partners or had sex with others or threesomes has been with John and Donna, and with Kayla.  We are completely comfortable with that and plan to continue, but no plans to expand that – but also not adverse to it if the right situation came up.  

Whatever you call this openness, we are new to it.  It hasn’t been six months since our first “swinging” foray with John and Donna, and of course, the stuff with Kayla is just since the end of last year.  So while it is new to us, it also seems so natural and old hat to us.

NEW ENERGY!  Spankings as recreation?
Having Kayla living with us has injected a new energy into an already energetic household and relationship.  It’s like the thrill of a shiny new toy, and we all are serving as each others plaything in one way or another.  Not just sexual, although that is a big part of it, but even in just conversations about every day things and in sharing more about our ourselves and life experiences.  

Kayla has injected a greater playfulness than Mike and I have.  She likes to role play and set up scenes and roleplays for us.  Like a choreographer, she sets the music and lighting, and will pick out the toys.  Sometimes it is just us being us, but often she will give us a general idea as to the roles, from teacher/student, to doctor/patient, to master/slave, etc.  It is really fun and something I know Mike and I wouldn’t do on our own.  Not because we are adverse to it, but, it just isn’t something we do – but we do now – with Kayla!

The “scene” thing is entirely new to us.  Except for some “punishment” play with John and Donna, Mike and I have kept spankings and what not exclusive to punishments.  These scenes with Kayla are new in that spanking, flogging, etc., are all just in play.  A very different sensation.  I can’t explain it, because it may be the same intensity, or perhaps not, but the body reacts very differently.  It is more self-indulgent and more sensual.  

WE ALL ARE BARE DOWN THERE!
Another playful thing she did was to shave Mike’s pubes!  Mike never went bare down there and she was encouraging him to give it a try.  She finally just took it upon herself and hopped in the shower with him, scissors, razor, and shaving cream in hand, and he finally relented.  I think it makes him look a bit funny – not sure what it is – perhaps I am preconditioned to think of hair as masculine, and seeing him bare down there is emasculating.  I know that is just a personal bias, but it is how I reacted.  I never said anything and told Mike I was happy with whatever he decided regarding keeping it or not.  In my mind I was sure I would grow to like it and just needed to get used to it.  Mike kept it shaved for a little more than a week and just started to let it grow back.   

KAYLA’S SEX DRIVE
Kayla also has a pretty large sexual appetite.  She admits she has never had so much sex as she has had in the last month or so.  A day doesn’t go by that she isn’t involved in at least two or three acts, and she hasn’t slowed down.  She really loves to perform oral sex.  While she likes to perform it on me, she really loves to perform it on Mike.  I’ve “caught” her giving head on many occasions. Anytime there isn’t anyone else home, I can pretty much count on running into Kayla on her knees with Mike’s cock in her mouth.  I’ve even been awaken in the middle of the night from movement on the bed, only to roll over and see Kayla down in the sheets going at it.  I am perfectly fine with all of this.  I am not possessive of Mike when it comes to sex.  I get plenty of love and attention and sex from him and I am not threatened by him enjoying himself sexually without me.  I actually get a thrill from it. 

Last weekend Kayla had anal sex for the first time.  She enjoyed it.  She had been practically begging for it and Mike was putting her off, just to tease her.  Well, tease no more.  It was nice to watch someone, especially someone you love, experiencing something new for the first time.  It went well, and has been repeated several times.

MIKE AND KAYLA TAKE A ROAD TRIP
Today Mike and Kayla left for Orlando.  Mike has a business meeting and Kayla is tagging along.  Although he just has one meeting tomorrow and could return home tomorrow night, they are staying tomorrow night and Friday night.  They’ll be back Saturday.  I know it is weird and a bit hard to admit, but, I love this.  Much like Mike’s date night with Donna (shared in Post 90), I get a thrill from this.  I enjoy knowing Mike is having the time of his life, living a fantasy of being like a king.  I couldn’t be happier to allow him that experience.  

WHAT’S UP WITH JOHN AND DONNA? 
Oh, on the subject of Donna, Kayla joined us one time over to John and Donna’s.   Kayla hasn’t had sex with all of us — would 5 qualify as an orgy?  Anyway, while no sex, there is a “topless” rule at their house that Kayla adheres to, so me, Donna, and Kayla remain topless at all times – of course, often Donna and I are completely naked.  Kayla watched but didn’t participate.  She just wanted to get a sense of what all went on before deciding what she may be interested in doing.  Thus far she indicated she isn’t interested in sex with them, but would like to participate in the scenes.  She showed a particular interest in the bondage horse and other accoutrements they have.   I am certain on her next visit she will be trying out some of their toys and be more involved, perhaps as a spankee or other object of attention, excluding sex with John or Donna.    We shall see. 

THE CANE!
I mentioned in my last post that we got a cane. It is rattan with a crook, like you would imagine belongs in an old school house.   Kayla wanted it.  Both of us have since been spanked with it.  Gee, thanks Kayla!  I don’t like it.  I much more prefer the flat spanking implements (hand is still my favorite) than the sting of the cane.  However, I will say I enjoy watching it used on Kayla.  I admit the stripes it makes does something for me.  It’s a turn on.  Kayla likes it, and says she prefers it to the paddles.  The downside is she can’t take as many with the cane as she can with a paddle so the experience, while more intense for her, is shorter. 

CHORES GALORE!
Let’s see, what else?  I am just trying to give you a full download of the various things that Kayla has added to my DD household.  Oh, the chores!  It is great to have a second set of hands to help out, and Kayla takes her cleaning responsibilities as serious as I do.  In fact, she takes all her “acts of service” seriously.  She is highly organized, even more than I am and that is tough to do.  She gets a lot of fulfillment out of all the things she does every day.  Of course, with two of us it has meant that we run out of things to do. When that has happened, one of us, or Mike, will then come up with something new for us to add to our lists.  I must say my house has never sparkled so much!  My pantry, closet, drawers, garage, kitchen – you name it, looks a bit like an anal retentive s dream.  Make that wet dream, given we typically do all our housework in the nude!   

SPANKINGS GALORE!
I mentioned in my last post that Mike is becoming a bit of a hard ass.  I say that lovingly and is something I have said to him in loving jest.  Part because Kayla asked for greater rules and structure, and part because Mike is growing into a Dominant mind set.  He doesn’t just limit his greater dominance to dealing with Kayla.  I’ve been spanked for things I would never have thought I would be spanked for.  The hangers aren’t all facing the same way in the closet, something wasn’t ironed well enough,  or heaven forbid, I used something other than a loving tone in responding to him.   Oh my god – I love it!   Yes, as crazy as it sounds, I enjoy this.  I enjoy it, Mike enjoys it, and Kayla enjoys it.  While there is a lot of work that goes into all of this, it is packaged in a tremendous amount of love and play.  

LIFE GALORE!
No matter what the dynamics of a household or your life is, life happens.  That means there will be highs and lows along the way.  I know we have had them and will continue to have them, no different from your life or anyone else’s.   And don’t think I never have doubts.  There have been evenings I’ve laid in bed after an unfulfilling day, with my nipples sore from the clamps that were applied that day, my ass throbbing from a spanking, and my body just tired from the busy day and I’ve thought, “What am I doing?”  

Doubts don’t concern me.  In fact, I would be concerned if I never had them.  But each time I do I find it is simply an opportunity to reaffirm my confidence and love for the choices I have made.  

While almost two years into adopting DD, I still love it, have no regrets, and remain excited about each day.  I love life, every moment, every day!  I am living a life of abundance!

NEXT:  116.  Revealing DD to my Sisters

 

 

 

114. Resist! And remain Kinky!

resistt

The Stanford Prison Experiment is a well-known experiment in psychology circles regarding the effects that power has on people.  I’ve always kept the results of this experiment in mind as it pertains to Mike and our journey into domestic discipline.  These thoughts were further top of mind as we added the dominant/submissive relationship with Kayla.  Increasing these thoughts even further was that Showtime has been running a movie about the experiment.  Also, although unrelated to my dynamic, this study has been top of mind because I wonder how power impacts a self-serving egomaniac.  No, not Mike, but our U.S. President…I digress.

The conclusion is simple.  Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  So knowing this, how do we avoid the corrupting influence that power has, even when that power is given to someone you love and trust without question, and who reciprocates that same love and trust?  No, not our U.S. President, I am talking about Mike!

I believe the answer is that you don’t, and you can’t.  It will happen.  It is human nature.  But, what you can do is be aware of it.  It comes back to the age-old solution for any relationship, regardless if the dynamic is vanilla or otherwise – communication.   You have to communicate limits and react in the strongest terms possible if those limits are breached.  If they are disregarded, then you do the only thing you can do and take the power back.  You must RESIST and speak truth to power!   Yes, I am talking about both Mike as well as our president.  I digress yet again.

In both cases if limits are breached you don’t validate the behaviors of those you have given power.  You don’t accept anything they do.  You resist.  Of course, if it is a loved one, it typically resolves itself quickly and you move on.  In the case of our president, it will only resolve itself by doing everything you can to delay and deny any actions they undertake, vote out all who support him in the mid-terms in two years, and then vote out him and the other supporters two years after.   Okay, I really digress!

The challenge with a loving D/s relationship is that it is hard to recognize when limits have been crossed.  Yes, some things are blatant, but, we can become desensitized over time to ever escalating dominance.  You love the person, you know they have the best intentions, and so you can easily discount and disregard inappropriate behavior, especially if it isn’t directed at you.  Sure, Trump has come for the Muslims, come for the scientists, come for the LBGTQ community, come for the federal judges, come for the animals (yes, read about what he is has done regarding animal testing), come for free speech, come for some people’s clean air and water (but not mine), and has come for the disabled (both in education and for those trying to get social security disability benefits).  But none of those he has come for is me.   

Sure, Trump has attacked the arts, attacked the media, attacked anyone who openly questions him.   But — none of those things are me.  While every speech and every press conference by his minions are filled with blatant lies (oh wait, “alternative facts”) that a six-year-old can fact check in a second, his lies haven’t impacted me.

So, meh! 

I hope you get the sarcasm.   Oh, sorry, got off track…it’s Mike I want to talk about.

It’s an interesting thing to be a part of it.  I have seen Mike exert more dominance, a dominance I have asked for, invited in, nurtured, craved, and supported.  Until recently Mike was being a Dom that was careful to carry out his dominance in a way that I explicitly prescribed, with perhaps just the occasional unexpected action on his part.  When we took on this lifestyle, he clearly adjusted to the things I asked for.  At my urging I have encouraged him to exert himself in ways that suited his needs and desires and that I welcomed the opportunity to be the one adjusting to those needs and desires.   Well, he has done so.  I must be honest and say there are things he does that I don’t particularly like or enjoy.  However, I am being equally honest when I say I get an even bigger thrill from the things I don’t like or enjoy.  I know that sounds oxymoronic (is that word? Well, it is now).   It is simply about the joy and satisfaction I get from being submissive and to truly submit to him, I should be submitting more directly to his needs and desires, and not just the needs and desires I have chosen to address. 

What are some of the things I don’t enjoy?   I don’t like the cane (oh, that can be another story, but, Kayla wanted a cane so we ordered one, and I hate it. Much prefer a paddle, brush, or some other flat spanking implement!).  I don’t enjoy my pussy being flogged or whipped, I don’t enjoy being tied up as punishment, and I don’t enjoy certain sexual acts being part of punishments.  Previously, sex and punishments were separate things – and while still not the norm, they aren’t always mutually exclusive.  I also am a bit alarmed by his treatment of Kayla, although Kayla appears to be thriving and wanting more.  Now don’t feel bad on my behalf.  I know I could stop these acts, but I don’t want to.  I like the idea that I am doing things for Mike to satisfy his desires and I like that he is expressing his desires.   I like these things more than I dislike the acts, and as long as that remains the case, the acts remain within my acceptable limits.  But I do dread these acts! 

To get back to my main point – I have noticed Mike is acting differently, much more authoritarian and with less patience.  I have seen his demands as well as the spankings and non-spanking punishments increase in frequency and intensity, both on me and on Kayla.  We’ve talked openly about this and he admits he likes the feeling he gets from being dominant, but also admits there is a line between being a good dom and being an a-hole, and he hopes not to cross it, however, he ended that with, “Concern noted, but I am not changing anything and you always have safe words to stop any of my actions, so it is on you to communicate your limits, not on me to guess where they are.”   For a nanosecond my mind said, “Oh, what an a-hole response.”  But the tingly feel-good feeling that followed a nanosecond later overwhelmed that thought.  I really like it when Mike is forceful and unapologetic with his feelings.  Such is the way a submissive thinks!

 And to be fair, along with Mike’s increase in dominant behaviors has come an increase in appreciation towards me and towards Kayla.  Mike has given us several “spa days” and other pampering’s, he even hired a maid service for a day so we could fully relax without worry of falling behind on any of our chores.  Yes, I know that statement will make some of you gag – I certainly would have pre-DD.     Just remember, I chose this lifestyle and I take my duties very seriously, so it is a big deal that I didn’t have to worry about falling behind on any chores.  Even if Mike gave me a pass regarding any punishments, I like to stay on schedule and get certain things done on certain days, so the maid service was something I truly appreciated.

I do not feel that Mike has been corrupted by the power I have freely given to him (yet), but the findings of the Stanford Experiment remain in the back of my mind.  As for our so-called president, well, his corrupted mind began long before he got the power of a president (I would say “presidential power” but there is nothing presidential about him). I digress. 

Oh, I mentioned before that Mike was going on a business trip out-of-town and taking Kayla with him.  That is in a few days.  I’ll talk about that in another post!

Resist. . .and remain Kinky!

NEXT: 115. My Abundant Life

 

 

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