Tag Archives: bruised

203. The S*ck and F*ck Mystery

203
This is the postscript on Post 201. Happy New (Severe Spanking) Year.

THE MYSTERY
I’ll start with revealing the mystery behind Kayla’s response, then I’ll then share my reflections on my behavior. Then for you pervs out there I’ll wrap it up with the final part of the punishment I received. 

When Kayla shared her thoughts, she ended it with, “It was exactly the kind of thing we talked about.”  While it was clear to me that Kayla appreciated what Mike did, I had no idea what she was referring to.  So I asked Mike and Kayla if they were willing to share what it was they talked about that made her appreciate the impromptu “suck and fuck” as we have come to jokingly calling it.

CATCHING UP WITH KAYLA AND MICHAUD
First some background to catch you up on Kayla and Michaud. (I wrote about the beginnings of their relationship in Post 186. Kayla gets a Boyfriend).  Kayla has shared her big attraction to Michaud is his laid back, accepting style.  She feels so comfortable talking with him and they see eye to eye on so many issues.  However, she has made it clear she doesn’t think of him as potentially being “the one.”  She says she doesn’t see herself considering marrying anyone until she is at least 27, if not 30.  She wants to enjoy and explore life, unencumbered.  She has shared those sentiments with Michaud.

Kayla recently told Michaud she wants to explore a “unique” relationship with him, sort of an experiment – as if their relationship wasn’t already unique enough.  Inspired by Mike and I, Kayla told Michaud she wants them to share everything — every thought, every desire, every pet peeve, every impulse, every fantasy.   Not necessarily act on them, but share those things verbally.   Even down to a quirky thing that we do in our household (when no kids are home).  She asked Michaud to accept a “no closed doors” policy.  That is, you don’t close doors to the bathroom, whether someone is showering, using the toilet, or whatever.  Basically, there is no “personal space” as all space is shared, even when using the crapper!  

Michaud was game and they implemented this “openness” about three weeks ago. What I didn’t know is that Michaud shared some things with Kayla regarding his sexual turn on’s.  Apparently he is turned on by Kayla telling him about sexual acts she performs with us.  He likes her to tell him every detail.  Kayla said it makes for great foreplay with Michaud.

Kayla also shared her sexual fantasies with Michaud, including the one about having four guys at one time.  With that in mind, Michaud told her that he wouldn’t mind “sharing her” at the same time with Mike.  Kayla told him that this wouldn’t happen, as Mike and I already told Kayla we don’t want Michaud to be part of our dynamic or play.  Nothing against him  We just don’t want to get entrenched in a relationship she has.  We believe it is good for her to explore her relationships on her own.  In addition, our dance card is pretty full and life is good.  We don’t want to complicate things.

MYSTERY UNVEILED
I was generally aware of Kayla’s “openness” experiment with Michaud, but I wasn’t aware of Michaud’s turn on regarding Kayla sharing her sexual experiences or his thoughts on sharing her with Mike.  Kayla didn’t purposely keep this information from me.  There just wasn’t an opportunity for her to bring it up to me and she isn’t compelled to tell me such details.

She told Mike about it during one of her Maintenance Sessions.  When she did that, Mike suggested that they do something specifically for Michaud’s benefit.  That way, not only would she have a juicy sexcapade to share with him, but she can let him know that Mike arranged it with him in mind.  Kayla loved the idea.  Mike simply told her that he would think about the details and let her know.   Well, apparently he thought about them and thus the now infamous “suck and fuck.”

DOUBTING MIKE’S INTENTIONS
Clearly, Mike’s action had Kayla’s support and endorsement, at least in general, if not specifically.   I felt so foolish for reacting as I did and doubting Mike’s intentions.  This is not the first time my doubts have got me into trouble.  I thought I was past having these moments of doubt.  At a minimum, I thought I was at least past ACTING on any doubts without first calmly and respectfully clarifying the situation.   Clearly I am not.

I think it was a combination of factors that led me to have that doubt. 

  • It caught me by surprise.  Kayla was practically heading out the door when Mike stopped her for the blow job.  
  • Kayla’s reaction didn’t seem joyful to me.  I now realize that I was reading too much into it.  Sure she didn’t jump for joy, but she often has a resolute look about her.  In hindsight I can see that her reaction was simply that of a compliant submissive.   
  • I have a “mama bear” instinct about Kayla, and if I think she is unhappy or being mistreated, I react, often without additional thought. 
  • Instead of assuming loving intentions, in an instant I created this false narrative in my mind.  I assumed Mike was just being a stupid alpha-male, flaunting his power and authority over Kayla as a “take that” to Michaud by in effect telling him all he can have is “sloppy seconds.”   Not only does such behavior repulse me, but using Kayla in that way also triggered “mama bear” to come out. 
  • I wasn’t in a particularly deep submissive mindset.  The holidays messed with our D/s routine.  I couldn’t even do simple things like being naked around the house.  Since before Thanksgiving a lot of my energy and focus was on holiday activities and not on submission.  Not that that is wrong, as such focus is good for my kids and the family overall.  But still, it softened my submissive mindset, leaving me vulnerable to mistakes. 

Whatever the reason(s), I am more committed than ever to stay diligent and not repeat this.  Ideally I wish I never have such thoughts again, but realistically, it is not about never having those thoughts.  It is about recognizing when I have them and controlling my reaction so that it is loving, purposeful, and effective in facilitating a healthy and respectful conversation.  I know I can do that!

This issue is a big one for me as it is not something that just arose with our DD.  I have always had this problem.  Pre-DD it was a common occurrence — jumping to conclusions, feeling attacked or feeling Mike had ill intentions.  I credit Domestic Discipline with helping me towards eradicating this terrible habit.

As Mike often reminds me, “Progress, not perfection!”   

FINAL PUNISHMENT – CLOSING CEREMONY
I shared with you that my punishment was not complete.  Mike gave me until the next day to write my 100 lines, which I completed.  As in keeping with our “lines rules,” I am spanked for mistakes or sloppy lines – two spankings for each error.  Mike “grades’ me very strictly.  He counts it as a mistake if words don’t line up very closely underneath the matching word in the row above.

I was thankful to have the entire day to work on the lines, thus I didn’t have to do them in one sitting.  This was a first, but was necessary because the family interruptions that occurred throughout the day.  Thus I didn’t become as fatigued in my writing and the result was Mike only found three errors, thus six spankings.

Because our middle child hung around the house most of the day, we had to arrange to go over to John and Donna’s for me to be spanked.  They are accustomed to us using their house as a get-away when a spanking is needed.  When we use their house the spankings are always done in one of their bedrooms.  We don’t let them watch.  These are solemn occasions.  I am not allowed to make eye contact or speak with John or Donna until after our Closing Ceremony.  Mike simply asks them, “Can we use your room for moment.”  They know what that means.  Once the punishment is over, we then “turn off” punishment mode and act as if we are on a social visit.

Mike brought a small paddle with him.  Thankfully Mississippi is too big to smuggle out of the house discreetly!  I couldn’t have taken any more with that beast.  As is our protocol I immediately get undressed when I enter their house.  My bottom was very bruised from the night before and I know they saw it as I walked past them towards a bedroom.  I am sure they were like, “Wow, what did she do!?”

Once in the room Mike had me lay across his knee.  He even commented how bruised my ass was, “Wow, I’ve never seen it this bad.  I have a feeling these six are going to hurt.”
He then proceeded to lecture me as he rubbed my bruised and sore butt.  I thought I was over the extreme emotions of the events but I started to cry, even before he spanked me.
He then spanked me.  I let out a shrill on number three and dramatically increased the volume on numbers four,  five and six.   I know John and Donna could hear me. 

We then had our Closing Ceremony.  It felt so good to completely put this behind me.  Mike told me to go wash my face and get my clothes on.   He said I could take a few minutes and he left the room to go talk to John and Donna.  I composed myself, got dressed, stopped off at the bathroom to wash my face, and emerged as if nothing happened.  We talked about what each of us did to ring in the New Year (the family and festivities stuff, not the “suck and fuck” or punishment).  Then we returned home.  All is forgiven.   

I love my Domestic Discipline!

Oh, almost forgot  – I asked Kayla, “So, what did you tell Michaud and how did he react? Did he actually get turned on by it?”   That’s for another post!

Next:  204. Returning to Submissive Headspace

 

157. A Severe Punishment for Two

157

It’s been awhile since I’ve shared a punishment story, so as promised in my last post, here you go!

This one is about Kayla (well not entirely as you will find out).  I know as per Post 148, that Mike decreed that I was to no longer punish Kayla.  Well, that lasted about six weeks, but perhaps may last longer next time.   

THE TRANSGRESSION
Our son was visiting his cousins, Mike was out running errands, and Kayla and I were at Donna’s, just hanging out.  Donna was sharing some of the things that John does to help around the house, “just because he wants to”, and of course Kayla was quick to brag on Mike.  She proudly explained that Mike doesn’t have to do any chores, but he will occasionally empty the dishwasher or sweep the floor.  Kayla then added, “and I know when Mike empties the dishwasher because he has a bad habit of leaving every cupboard and drawer open.”

My jaw dropped.  You see, one of Kayla’s Acts of Service is to always talk complimentary of Mike to others – never criticize him in front of others.  Kayla’s excuse was, “It’s just Donna.”  I didn’t accept that.  This was not in keeping with a submissive mindset and is something she not only agreed to adhere to, but it was her idea to do so.  As such, she should know better and her flippant retort made it worse.   

I felt that Mike would want to immediately address this.  I sent him a short text and he called me.  I put Kayla on the phone and had her explain it.  That alone made her cry.   Mike then put me back on the phone.  I  asked him that if he felt this should be quickly dealt with that I was willing to handle it.  He paused and then said he didn’t want me to do anything if I felt it would “interfere with my peace.”  I told him it would not, so long as I knew this is what he wanted.  He then said yes, he wanted me to spank her a “sufficient” number of times and then Kayla should be “soaped” until he got home.  

JEN SPANKS KAYLA
I borrowed a paddle from Donna and spanked Kayla right there in front of Donna.  And to be honest, I spanked her really hard.  She was crying, as she is apt to do from a spanking.  She’s always been a crier, and while she doesn’t cry as much or as loudly as she used to, she was crying pretty good with this spanking.  I then sent her home and told her to start writing lines until I got there.  “I will always speak positively of Sir in front of others.”

JEN SPANKS KAYLA AGAIN
I waited about twenty minutes and then left Donna’s and returned home.  I was shocked again to find her writing her lines but fully clothed.  It is a long established rule that we disrobe when we enter the house if there are no kids expected.  I guess I was on a roll as I had her disrobe and spanked her again.  Again, very hard, and again, she cried.

SOAPING
I led her to the bathroom, got the soap, and lathered up her tongue and mouth and then had her bite down on the bar and hold it in her mouth.  I told her to kneel in the corner and stay there until Mike got home.  

Mike came home about forty minutes later.  That’s a long time to hold soap in your mouth.  He talked to me about what happened and got an update.  He then waited.  He knew Kayla heard him come home, but he didn’t immediately attend to her.  He waiting another fifteen minutes, so in total, it was an hour in the corner with soap in her mouth. He told me to stay out of the room but to come in after fifteen minutes. 

MIKE SPANKS KAYLA
I didn’t witness it but Mike spanked her for almost all that fifteen minutes before I came into the room.  Kayla was sobbing and a drooling soapy mess as she still had the soap in her mouth as I walked in and Mike continued spanking her.  I assumed my spanking her would be it, but clearly, it was not.  I felt bad because I really spanked her hard and would have probably gone a little easier had I known Mike would spank her again.

Mike then told Kayla to finish writing lines until she got to 100.  As she sat down to write, Mike then turned to me and said, “We have another issue to address.”

MIKE SPANKS JEN
Mike said that he wasn’t happy that I spanked Kayla for not undressing when she entered the house.  He said I should have reported this to him first before taking any action.  He reminded me that since our
therapy sessionI’ve actually achieved the mindset I was looking for (as shared on my prior post as well as two posts ago.   Now I put that at risk by spanking Kayla without his permission.   

So he spanked me using a thin bamboo paddle.  He said it would be one spanking for each line Kayla had to write.  100!  He stopped at 90 and had Kayla administer the last 10. He told her that if the swats were not to his liking that she would be in for 100 more.  Kayla didn’t disappoint!  Ouch!  He then had Kayla give me a half-dozen swats on each palm with a ruler.  He told me perhaps I’d think of this the next time I feel compelled to raise a hand to Kayla’s ass without his permission.  He then had me stand in the corner until Kayla finished her lines.  

MIKE SPANKS KAYLA AGAIN
He wasn’t quite done with Kayla’s punishment.  As part of our writing lines punishments, we may have to write additional lines and/or get spankings for any mistakes or sloppiness in the lines we wrote.  Mike found a few lines that were not to his liking, and spanked Kayla again.   In all, the spankings she got over the prior two hours were probably the hardest spankings she had received in a long time, and there were a lot of them.  So we were in the same boat.  Very sore and red asses!  In fact, my redness was colored with several purples splotches.  

AFTER CARE
We then had a collective After Care with Mike.  He had Kayla apologize to me for behaving in such a way that required immediate action on my part.  And I apologized to her for spanking her without Mike’s permission.  And that was that, all was forgiven.

POST SCRIPT
So what did I feel about what happened?  Nothing out of the ordinary, just a sore bum!    That’s just the life of a submissive.  I feel Mike acted totally appropriately as clearly both Kayla and I misbehaved.   

Ha, I find it funny that I am okay using the word “behave.”  I would have previously written something like, “…both Kayla and I failed to adhere to our commitments.”    I would have felt “behave” was juvenile or demeaning in some way.   Not anymore.  It is an appropriate word because submission is all about my behaviors, so when I submit according to my commitment, I am behaving.   Simple as that.   I think my finding comfort in some of the vocabulary terms that I previously hated is another sign of my progression with a submissive mindset.    

Just another example of how words are power, which makes our upcoming contract renegotiation interesting – but that’s for another post.  

I marvel in reflection at how definitive our
closing ceremonyis regarding a punishment.  No matter how intense the punishment, how emotional either I or Kayla gets, or whatever the circumstances are, when it is over, it is over.  All is truly forgiven and no one dwells on it.  

That was evidenced by how Kayla reacted afterwards.  She looked at me a bit later and said with a wry smile, “Man, I won’t do that again.”  To which I replied as I hugged her, “That makes two of us.”  We never talked of it again as there is simply no need.    

NEXT:  158. Jen’s Simple Tips and my Golden Rule of Domestic Discipline

 

52. The Spanking that Keeps Giving

A DD lifestyle has some physical hazards, of which I’ve been fortunate to avoid until now.  I guess it is a matter of time before a punishment can go awry.

Since evolving our DD to a service and submissive mindset, I’ve been a Wonder Woman of domestic duties, both inside the bedroom and out.   My energy and enthusiasm remains high.  If someone doesn’t understand submission they likely will misinterpret it as being forced through fear, versus given in earnest, or that is in response to a threat, versus offered willingly.  In case someone reading this hasn’t read other posts, I wanted to be clear and state that while I never thought our DD would lead us where it has, I have enjoyed, and continue to enjoy the journey.

Of course, it isn’t all just a perfect la-la land. There are bumps, and bruises along the way, as this story will attest.

I’ve been meeting all my Duties and Obligations, thus, despite Mike being strict, there have been few occasions to spank me.  But few is not none, and I got one in particular that will likely remain one of the more memorable spankings.

Mike came home for lunch one of the days last week and when he pulled up I had left the garage door open.  I forgot to close it when I came home from the errands of the day.  Luckily we’ve never had issues but we have had neighbors have things stolen out of their garages.   Mike spanked me as would be expected.  Well, dang it, the next day I did the same thing.  I knew I left it open when I brought some groceries in and I meant to go back out to close it, but other duties took over and I forgot, again.

This time Mike ratcheted up the punishment, and rightly so.  Despite now having a small arsenal of implements from which to choose, he decided to use a new one – no, not some fancy and expensive new paddle, but a plastic long handled bath brush/back scrubber. It is a hard plastic and instead of being smooth it has these bumps all over the back side of the brush.

Mike gave me 15 on one cheek, then 15 on the other, then planned to follow with 10 where he alternated cheeks.  Right away this felt different.  It was a duller feeling, more blunt than anything I’ve had before. It didn’t register as pain until about the number 10 mark, and if not for the fact he was spanking pretty quickly I would have had him pause via a safe word.  I made it through the first 15.  He then did the other cheek and basically the same experience and again, I made it through the 15.   As he started again and gave each cheek one whack  I had to ask him to pause.   The sensation was feeling more like a punch than a slap.  It lacked the sting of a typical spanking and in its’ place was a dull pain.  Mike started up again and got to six and I had to have him pause again.  He told me he planned to go to 10 so there were just a few more if I was able.  I collected myself and soon told him I was ready.  Without administering more spankings he said, “No, that’s enough.”

What made him stop was the red of my ass was already getting darker and darker.  Mike said, “Sorry, I think you are going to be really bruised.”   I told him I had spankings that hurt more than this one, but explained to him how this was so different.   Turned out, my ass continued to get darker and darker and before long was black and blue.  We learned to never use that brush as a spanking implement ever again.

My ass is still bruised and it is 5 days later!   When I got my Maintenance spanking three days ago I couldn’t take it.   That’s never happened as those are relatively mild spankings.
He’s had to stay off the ass the last few days, which he’s actually enjoyed because he really likes to slap my tits.  I hadn’t had a tit-slapping punishment in some time.  I digress.

Mike feels bad and I try to joke about it and encouraged him not to let up with his strictness – just drop that brush from our repertoire.  It is just one of those hazards of living this lifestyle.  I am still a little sore if I sit a certain way – but now the sore is more of that pleasurable post-spanking soreness!  It’s just that it is five days later and it is a spanking that keeps giving.

Next: 53. Almost forgot. . . sex with John and Donna?