Tag Archives: belt

251. . . . and sometimes reminders do have to be spankings

251

Routines are comfortable, that’s why we like them.  But there are benefits to mixing things up.  “Studies show” when you change things up, you coax your brain into thinking more creatively.  This injection of creativity can improve your mood and outlook.  Yeah, sometimes change just for the sake of change, is good. 

I put “studies show” in quotes because, I don’t know if there are any studies backing up what I just wrote.  I thought it added credibility to a plausible statement.  Hey, at least I admit it. 

Although, I do recall reading somewhere that forcing your brain to make new connections does have positive effects on brain function and well-being.  So there, it must be true if I recall reading it somewhere!  “Studies show…” and “I read…” are always followed by highly credible and accurate statements!  I know it because I once read a study about it.  

NEW THURSDAY MAINTENANCE
I shared in the post before last, that Mike changed up my Thursday Maintenance.  It is now a “family” meeting of sorts with Kayla and I.   A time to talk about our collective relationship(s), connect and bond in some dedicated triad discussion time.

If you read that post, you know that it was more than just discussion.  It was very erotic in a way that we have never experienced before – Kayla and I simply following every sexual request made by Mike.  I mean, we’ve followed his commands before, “do this…” “do that…”  but not an entire series of sexual acts based only on his commands and not just out of the blue.  It was totally unexpected, but totally fun!  I thought perhaps this would be how each of our Thursday sessions would begin. 

I thought wrong.

OUR SECOND NEW THURSDAY MAINTENANCE SESSION
Kayla and I undressed and Mike remained clothed, as is customary for a Maintenance.  Like last time, Mike had two chairs arranged facing the chair he would sit in.  The three of us sat down.  With my mind on thoughts of  last Thursday, I was looking forward to what Mike would say next. 

“Kayla, stand up, turn around, bend over and put your palms on the chair. Butt out.”
Mike takes off his belt and hands it to me.  “Now Jen, spank her.” 

“Give her 10 and they need to be hard enough so that anyone looking at her butt could tell that she was just spanked with a belt.  If they aren’t hard enough, you’ll repeat the 10 and keep doing so until I am satisfied with the result.  And, if it takes any extra spankings beyond the first 10 for you to achieve my desired result, I will be adding it to the spankings I will administer to both of you.  Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”  In-so-much that I didn’t exactly follow the math but I understood the point that it meant more spankings for both of us if he wasn’t satisfied with the results.

I started spanking her and at about five, Mike said, “You are going to have to hit harder than that if it is going to leave any marks by ten.”   I increased my intensity.  It has been a long time since I have spanked Kayla.  Maybe eight or nine months?    

“When I was done he got up and closely inspected Kayla’s butt.  “Not good enough, I don’t see anything.  10 more, now.”

“Yes, Sir.”  I spanked her much harder this time, enough to elicit an occasional “Eee!” and “Ow!”  No need for Mike to inspect.  The red marks were clear.

“Jen, give the belt to Kayla and you take position and she will spank you.  Kayla, same thing.  I need to see clear evidence that she was spanked or you get more from me.

Kayla gave me ten.

Mike took a look and said, “Kayla, come on now, I could tell you weren’t putting enough into it and look, I don’t see any redness or mark.  Now give her 10 more and make it count.”

Kayla gave me ten and boy did they count.  Mike then took the belt and told me to stay in position as I had ten coming from him since I failed to spank Kayla hard enough the first time.  Instead of handing Kayla his belt, he went and got the tawse and handed it to Kayla.  

“Kayla, you will smack that cheek with the tawse and I will smack this one with the belt.  It will be ten, but ten on each cheek, and the cheek you are striking better be more red than the one I am doing or we will repeat this.  

I took my 20 — 10 on each cheek – and my butt was stinging.  In looking back, I credit my submissive mindset to the fact I no longer was trying to process why he was doing this.  I simply accepted it, just as I accepted the sex play last Thursday.  No need to question. Just acceptance. It felt good to just acquiesce and accept. 

Then it was my turn to spank Kayla with the tawse, and again, Mike used the belt and we alternated smacks on our assigned cheek.  Kayla’s face told me she was accepting the spankings much like I was.  No sign of puzzlement or distress.  Only signs of obedience and submission.  It felt good to see that in her.  

Once Kayla’s spanking was done, Mike told us both to sit. 

 As if nothing just happened, Mike calmly said, “So.  Let’s talk,” 

ACTUAL TALKING
We proceeded to discuss the weeks events, upcoming plans, how we were feeling about submission, our relationship, life in general.  How school and things were going for Kayla, what our collective thoughts were on Matt, nudism, you name it.   Very nice discussion, but not as nice as what led up to it!

Neither Kayla nor I asked what that was about.  We knew what it was about.  It was about his Dominance and our submission. 

Sometimes reminders DO have to be spankings!

REFLECTION
A part of me is curious about our last two Thursday sessions.  Not curious about why Mike conducted them the way that he did, but about what is in store for future sessions.  I also feel that my lack of curiosity regarding “why” is a great sign of where I am at submissive-wise.  I don’t need or desire explanation.  I only need and desire obedience and submission.  This feels so good!

Uh-oh!  Pre-DD Jenny just threw up a little in her mouth.  Well pre-DD Jenny, you only wish you were as fulfilled, happy, optimistic, excited, and energized about life as I am.

Next: 252.  Still there? The Naked Caravan

213. Speedy Spanking Summations

I went through my journal and noted some spankings I received since the start of the year that are not as “epic” as the one’s I typically share.  I thought it might be of interest to see the more “mundane” things I mess up on.     

As a point of clarity, I am not diminishing their importance.  Every transgression and punishment has meaning to me.  I just feel all of them are not going to be of interest to readers nor indicate a milestone for me.   

I also want to note as far as severity of the punishment, none of them are mild or moderate — every one is high intensity.   Lately Mike has been in a habit of giving what he calls a6×6 spanking.  Six sets of six spankings, three on each cheek in very fast (and hard) succession.  He lectures in between each set and the final six are of maximum intensity.   I leave every spanking with a very red, warm, and burning butt.

They definitely are serving their purpose as a deterrent.  I’ve noticed that when I am in the corner awaiting my punishments that my mind is thinking about what is to come. This isn’t a bad thing.  It is just what it is. 

I made this recap fun (okay, fun for me) in that I looked up what part of the contract applied to the particular transgression.  

TRANSGRESSION:   left my debit card at a restaurant.
I remembered soon after leaving and doubled back and retrieved it.

  • Violation of Section V.2.3.3. Workload
  • Discipline:  Palms slapped with ruler, then  thirty minutes in the corner with a butt plug in, hands cuffed behind me, then 100 lines, and then 18 spankings by hand, 2 each for 9 errors/sloppy lines, then the “6×6” with a paddle.  Worst part – not being able to scratch an itch while in the corner! j/k, the paddle was worse!

TRANSGRESSION:  Cussing
I am not a big cusser.  It is rare, but I stubbed my toe and in pain and between my clenched teeth I let loose with “God Damn It!”  Luckily my son wasn’t around.

  • Violation of Section V.2.3.1 Feelings
  • Discipline:  Mouth soaping and 15 minutes in the corner with the bar of soap in my mouth, pee rinse and drink, and a “6×6” with the hairbrush.  In addition we had a lecture/talk about whether I was frustrated with other things that may have led to my cussing.  I couldn’t identify any, but I wanted to note this because there are times Mike will use a discipline session as an opportunity to talk WITH me, not just at me. 

TRANSGRESSION: Left a pot of stew on stove 
I had left it to cool before putting it in a container and in the fridge.  I forgot about it!

  • Violation of Section V.2.3.3. Workload and/or V.2.1.4 Homemaker
  • Discipline: Mike called me to the kitchen and gave me a “6×6” with a wooden spoon.  I was a bit apprehensive since our son was home (asleep).  It is very rare for him to ever wake up, but, you just never know.  I accepted it without hesitation but did talk to Mike about it at Maintenance.  He agreed it was not worth the risk and said he would be more discreet.  He praised me for not hesitating and not showing any signs I was put off by it, despite my apprehension.  (Remember – Thanks and Praise!

TRANSGRESSION:  Dress code violation
Hey, it’s winter and it gets cold!  I was naked, as is required when J is in school, but I put socks on because my feet were cold.  I should have asked Mike for permission.  He would have easily granted it (because he has always done so).  I just got lazy and decided not to ask him since he always says yes anyway.  Oops. 

  • Violation of Section V.2.2.3 Attire
  • Discipline:  Always looking to be creative, he took a pair of his socks (mine are too short) and wrapped a sock around each of my breasts and then tied each end of the sock tightly together – sort of homemade breast binder.  It worked surprisingly well — see, you can MacGyver your kink gear!
    He then had me get a handful of ice, clenched my fists, and I held it for 30 seconds.  That doesn’t seem like much, but try it!  He then gave me 30 seconds to pause without the ice in hand, then repeated it, another 30 second break, and then a final 30 again holding the ice — not all punishment involves impact and at least the ice was just in my hand (Post 63) LOL!  He didn’t do a 6×6 – he gave me  lots by hand over his knee.  There was no count, just lots of spanking and lecturing on remembering to ask permission.  

TRANSGRESSION:  Not showing deference to Mike
Mike and I were at John and Donna’s and in conversation I said something about “Mike asked me…”   Mike does not ask me, he instructs, demands, or tells me, things.  I am not to refer to such demands as being “asked.”   The only exception is if indeed Mike was asking me a question, such as for my opinion on something.  I can refer to that as being “asked.”  But if he is giving me something to act upon, he is not asking.   
This was a new rule that we added to our recent Contract and I anticipated it was going to be difficult for me.  In reality, it took me a few weeks to fully master it but after that, I never forgot, until this slip up. 

  • Violation of Section V 2.1.8 Deference
  • Discipline: As what has become the “standard” for things dealing with words I say or don’t say, I received a mouth soaping along with the pee rinse and drink.  As this was at John and Donna’s house and they were witness to my disobedience, they also watched the discipline.  He borrowed one of their hairbrushes  and ended it with a 6×6.  By the way, their hairbrush was more like a paddle disguised as a hair brush.  It was much harder and larger than mine.  This was all extra humbling for me because John and Donna watched.  They’ve seen me punished before, but it has been a long time.   

TRANSGRESSION:  Slouching and not being graceful. 
This is another item that is new to our Contract.  I need to be more graceful in my movements.  This was such a big challenge for me that Mike agreed to pay for classes for me.  Etiquette classes, complete with private sessions with a tutor!  I just started them two weeks ago. The classes are a bit boring, but the private sessions have been a hoot. 
Mike had been lenient on my “gracefulness” because he recognizes it is very challenging to change life long habits of how you carry your body when you walk and sit.  He would often give me reminders and I would not be punished as long as he didn’t have to persistently remind me over a short period of time.
Now that I have attended two classes and 4 private sessions, he expects me to better adhere to the things that have been covered in class and the sessions.  
Over the course of a few days last week he had to remind me several times regarding how I was walking and sitting.  He decided he had given enough reminders and discipline was in order. 

  • Violation of Sections V.2.2.4.1, V.2.2.4.2, V.2.2.4.3, Gracefulness
  • Discipline:  A straight forward old-fashioned belt spanking with my face down on the bed.  I got a 6×6 on my butt and then got several on each thigh. He then had me turn over on my back, spread my legs, and he struck me several times on my inner thigh, just missing my pussy.       

That’s it.  And that’s a lot!  Add to this the two Maintenance Sessions per week, and the “reset” (Post 204), and my butt is a bit shell-shocked.  It has been three weeks and there is still some bruising left from the New Year’s Eve spanking.    

While I admit my butt is sore, emotionally I am very upbeat.  The “reset” is over, I feel highly focused, deeply submitted, and overwhelmingly fulfilled.  I do feel I have a lot on my plate but I am very organized.  I keep a detailed calendar and leave myself little “reminder’ notes here and there.  I am not seeing a lot of repeated misbehaviors regarding the same topic.   I have no complaints . . . which is good, because my Contract requires that I shall remain joyful, scheduled, and optimized regarding my duties. Contract or not, that is my current state!

Next:  214. Nicknames: Opening our Joy Box

144. To ‘Sir’ or not to ‘Sir,’ that is the question. . .

144.ToSir

There’s a class participation request at the end of this post. Any ideas? 

Mike or Sir?
Mike asked me why, in my posts, do I always refer to him as “Mike” with the exception of using “Sir” when I am sharing specific dialogue?

Being in an increasingly submissive mindset, instead of answering him, I proudly said, “Sir, I will always refer to you as Sir from now on in my blog if that is what you want?”

He told me to bend over and he took off his belt and administered an Immediate Reward. I knew what it was for as this wasn’t the first time this occurred.  I failed to provide him an answer to his question.  Instead, I assumed he was displeased and I assumed he was asking me to change.  In other words, I felt he was being dishonest in his question and it wasn’t really a question at all, but a request.   Thus, I was being disobedient for not answering him and assuming he had other unstated intentions.

When the Reward was concluded, he again asked me the question.  

“Sir, I purposefully do that in my blog.  I prefer to refer to you as ‘Sir’ when I am sharing what I said in a conversation.  Otherwise, I like to refer to you as “Mike.”  I look at it from the reader’s perspective.  You are not their “Sir,” you are mine.  And I want them to connect to you as person, as the regular guy you are.  If I only referred to you as Sir or Dom or any other title, the risk is that readers will attached their preconceived notion of what those terms infer about you, and some of those inferences may be wrong, or even negative.   As much as possible I want readers to understand you are a great husband, parent, and person.  You’re just “Mike” to them.  You are “Sir” to me!”

 Mike responded, “Fair enough, thank you!”

Such is the challenge a sub can have.  In my zest to want to please Mike and anticipate his needs, I may answer his questions in a manner I think will please him.  I forget that first and foremost, what pleases him the most is answering his questions as simply and directly as possible.  

He has told me before that each time we speak he isn’t always asking me to do something.  Sometimes he just has a question and wants a straight answer.   He’s told both Kayla and I that he doesn’t go for the, “Whatever you think, Sir” response.  That may be in violation of  Code 1516 of the Dom Handbook, but hey, it’s our TTWD, not anyone else’s.  

Mike said it would drive him crazy if each time he asked us our opinion the answer was, “Whatever you think, Sir.”  He feels that is a rude and disrespectful answer with the undertone of, “Duh, Sir, don’t you know I will shape my opinions to yours. Why do you keep asking me these things?”  I’ve received a few spankings in the past due to this as has Kayla (in fact, she got a lot of them for this early on as she was a bit over eager to please). Mike has made it clear that when he asks us a question or our opinion, he is expecting an answer and he doesn’t care if it fails to conform to his wishes or way of thinking.  If he has issues with our true feelings, we can then talk about it.  He believes that we can have “respectful disputation,” as Mike calls it, even with a D/s relationship.  I believe that too, and I am not just saying that, hee hee.

Of course, if the opinions being shared are about a particular action that needs to be taken, Mike is the ultimate decider.  After the respectful disputation he will make a decision and that is that, Kayla and I accept it.   

Three Cheers for BDSM Practioners! 
Check out this article, The Surprising Psychology of BDSM.  Us kinksters may be more “normal” and well adjusted than you think!   I’ll let you reach your own conclusions of how you interpret that study, but here is one of the positives they observed about BDSM practitioners:
“BDSM practitioners exhibited higher levels of extraversion, conscientiousness, openness to experience, and subjective well-being.  Practitioners also showed lower levels of neuroticism and rejection sensitivity.”

Class Participation
To ‘Sir’, or not to ‘Sir’- that is the question 
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
Spanks and nipple clamps of outrageous punishments 
Or to… humm… couldn’t think of a good line here.  
Or to…???    Any ideas?   

NEXT: 145. Another spanking / Immersion Preview