161. Needed one, got three!

I’ve been preoccupied lately but had a story to share and then found this post in my drafts.  I thought I posted it some time ago!   Oh well, here you go. . .

I thought I’d share a somewhat humorous story about a “dilemma” that Kayla and I had and the less than humorous results.

SET-UP
Kayla started her Master’s program.  Not to be confused with “Master” in a kink sense but as in obtaining a Master’s degree that one may attain after their Bachelor’s.   In any event, school started for her and she has been a busy bee.   She is an excellent student and takes her studies seriously.

She said being back in the school environment has underscored the changes in her personality.  No longer the wallflower whose would be annoyed by anything distracting her from her laser focus, she is confident, outgoing, and easy-going.  She has made several new friends.  In addition to spending time studying and working on assignments with them, she also has gone out with them socially.   Not that she was a hermit in the past, but her old self would have taken all semester to warm up to someone to be that friendly.  Now, after just a few classes she bonded in friendship with a couple of other students.    

Between classes, studying, and her expanded social circle, her time at home has decreased.  And when she is home, she is often studying.   Not to say she doesn’t have “family” time, but she went from almost 24×7 family time to something quite less than that.  

Mike and I are fully supportive of this.  She is 23 and we don’t want her to feel obligated to spend time with us.  Any time she spends with us is precious but only if it is genuine and not taking away from her other interests.    She has some household chores which she is still able to complete without a problem.  I have a bit more to do now, but that’s okay.  I always considered her help to be a bonus as I was doing it all before she moved in with us.  And with J at school, I have more time to get things done. 

NEED FOR SPANKING
With this change in routine, for the first time ever Kayla went an entire week without a spanking – other than during a Maintenance Session.   And as you may recall, this is happening at a time she is experiencing a touch of sub-frenzy.  

Kayla came to me one early afternoon while Mike was at work and J was at school.  She said she was feeling “antsy and anxious” about nothing in particular.  She was having trouble focusing on her school work and felt she needed an adrenaline rush and a release.  In other words, she needed a spanking and she asked me if I would spank her.

I was feeling playful, and not having had a spanking in a few days myself, I said sure, but only if she would spank me.  She giggled and said, “Of course!” 

THE DILEMMA
Then the dilemma dawned on me.  Do we need to get Mike’s permission?   Our justification for “No” was that this wasn’t discipline, this was fun.  After all, we don’t ask his permission to have sex.  But, Kayla does have to ask for permission to masturbate Btw, I don’t.  To clarify, I don’t have to ask! You’re crazy if you thought for one second that I don’t actually masturbate.  Heck, it is in my contract!  I digress.

So, was this more akin to us having sex?  What if it included sex, would that make a difference?   I told Kayla the fact that we were having this debate in our minds was probably evidence enough that we should ask for permission.  No harm in doing that as we expected he would surely say yes.

I called Mike and he didn’t answer.  I couldn’t text him this request either.  So we waited, and waited.  J was going to be home from school soon and Kayla said she was really desperate and would even try spanking herself if I wouldn’t do it.  I thought that was unnecessary and not as effective, so, I made a command decision that I would spank her. Mike did say I could act as his proxy for things that needed immediate attention.  While the “things” he was talking about were disciplinary in nature, in my mind while this spanking wasn’t needed for disciplinary reasons, it was still needed.

So I spanked her.  It went on for quite some time.  First by hand, then one implement, then another.  She was really in need of a solid spanking.  Spanking her and seeing the release it gave her made me want to be spanked even more.  She obliged, although I didn’t need nearly the spanking she did.  It was also fun as we made a bit of a game of it.  Sort of a “see how hard you can take it” challenge.   She won.  

Mike’s reaction when we told him?  He wasn’t pleased.  His thinking was that part of the Dominance he derives over us is from his power to spank.  This particular act is the hallmark act of DD and should hold a special, almost sacred place in DD.  While it is acceptable to spank as part of play, there is a risk it can become trivialized.  He said the way in which we explained it and described it to him, it felt very trivial.  That feeling was deepened by the fact we didn’t wait for him to give us permission even though we suspected we should have.  He said he felt excluded from something that we should have understood as being up to him to decide.  He wants me to be comfortable as his proxy, but in this case the fact we proceeded without his consent showed we trivialized the meaning of such spankings.

His final point was that any time we recognize that a situation calls for his input, then the situation requires his input.  In other words, if there is any doubt, we should error on the side of seeking permission.

His punishment was that we would repeat the spankings and he would watch.  We did so and when we were done, he said, “We’re not done.”   What?   He then said we would again repeat them except he would do the spanking.  So Kayla and I got a double dose of what we got when we spanked each other.  I really wish we hadn’t done the “who can take it the hardest” game.  Suffice to say our butts were plenty red, especially Kayla’s.  She won’t be feeling the need to be spanked for quite some time.  

Mike also added a Mini-Maintenance Thursday for Kayla.  In addition, for two weeks one of us has to “soundly” spank her before she goes off to class.  Kayla doesn’t typically leave for class until after Mike has left for work, so these spankings mostly fall on me to administer.  Mike gave clear guidance as to implement and force and required pictures to show they were being given to his satisfaction.    

In reflecting on this, I see Mike’s point and don’t have any qualms about his reaction.  I leave such things up to his discretion and I don’t question it.  However, I have found that my willingness to submit to his authority with no question has a cumulative impact on me that’s not necessarily positive – which is a segue to my next post! 

NEXT POST:  DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE SYMPATICO!

 

         

42. Asking for a Spanking

Note: if you aren’t familiar with my vocabulary, see my Contract regarding “Reward,” Commitments, Transgressions, etc.

I have been feeling very restless. Other than my maintenance spankings on Sunday, yesterday marked one week since my last Reward. Partly because I’ve been good with meeting the Commitments I have made, but also partly due to both Mike and I being exhausted.

Our youngest was injured (both wrists and an ankle) from a bad fall. I mentioned before that he has special needs and as part of that, he also makes a terrible “patient.” Emotionally he doesn’t do well when he is hurt, and his needs (and demands) which are already high, go off the scale. All to say that my days have been exhausting, and I look to Mike to provide respite in the evenings, which means he too is exhausted. There are the physical demands of lifting my son, but the emotional demands are equally draining . . . no, they are actually more draining.

We have already been a bit off our “DD-game” with our youngest out of school and our middle child home for part of the summer. Now we have been way off. Mike even offered to skip our Maintenance Session last Sunday, but I asked that we keep it. We’ve never missed one and I didn’t want it to become a habit, plus I wanted the spanking that came with it. But it wasn’t enough.

All of this at a time when our “goodies” have started to arrive. I am anxious to share what I bought, but that will have to be for another post. Actually, I am more anxious to USE what I bought, but there hasn’t been the right time or right mood to break out the new toys.

The thing I wanted to share on this post is that am feeling desperate for a spanking. There are times I have looked forward to a spanking, and times I craved a deep submission, but this feeling is different. I am specifically craving a hard spanking. I NEED THE RELEASE. Our son is doing better the last day or two and my hope is we finally get him to bed at a decent time tonight. Our middle child hasn’t returned back to school but he is staying the night with a friend, so tonight should be a great night for spanking.  I’ve never just asked Mike to spank me for no other reason than I just want one.   Funny, but despite all the wild things we’ve done, I feel a bit embarrassed to ask for a spanking.

I guess I could do the “brat” thing, which I’ve never done before, just to make the spanking seem “legit,” but that seems disingenuous. Hummmm . . . but by being disingenuous, I will have Transgressed, thus, another spanking!   Maybe there is something to that approach!

Nah, honesty is the best policy. I’ll just ask Mike to give me a spanking. I hope he agrees.

THE ABOVE WAS WRITTEN YESTERDAY.

Here’s the update. I asked Mike for a spanking last night and he agreed to give me one. Yea!!

He had me lay face down on the bed and he said he wouldn’t tell me what he was using, but with the first strike I knew it was that leather paddle that I dislike – however, it still felt good. He probably did about 12 very firm ones and stopped. He stopped because I started to cry. Very odd. I haven’t cried over a spanking in a very long time. I do get teary eyed, but this was a full on cry. It felt good to just release all the built up emotions of the last five days. Mike asked if he should stop, but I asked him to continue as these were good tears, but I asked him if I could get over his knee and be spanked by hand. He agreed and gave me perhaps 20 or 25 by hand. At one point I even asked him to do it harder. I cried some more.

It still seems odd to me. I had never asked for a spanking, let alone directed the specifics of a spanking such as asking for OTK or for him to do it harder. I also hadn’t cried like that in a long time and I never cried for the reasons I think I was crying. It is clear to me that it was simply a release of negative energy.  All the frustration I felt for the situation and the sadness I felt for my son rushed out of me and was replaced by good vibes. Okay, make that good endorphins!

Whatever it is, I loved it, and felt energized. I slept very well last night and had a lot of energy today. Plus our son had a great day (which I think was aided by my upbeat mood). Thank you DD!

Next: 43. XXX-mas Shopping Complete.