Tag Archives: apology

193. Lovebirds and spankings

A quick Kayla and Michaud update and then a rapid fire account of some discipline I received recently.

LOVEBIRDS
Kayla and Michaud continue their real-world-platonic / virtual-sex relationship.  They hang out quite a bit, but Kayla is conscientious of her studies and her duties at home, albeit slightly reduced duties. Overall she is balancing everything very well.  

We’ve all been tested and some results are in (all negative as expected). Mike’s and Kayla’s should be in today or tomorrow.  I know it takes some of the romance out of it, but, although unspoken, it is clear to everyone that this weekend should mark their first time having sex with each other.  It will mark a further deepening of their relationship.  A relationship that is clearly different than most and that has me fascinated, thus my fixation on sharing every detail.   (Thank you, Kayla, for allowing me to do so). 

By the way, although Michaud has an apartment (and a male roommate), Kayla has no plans to stay there overnight any time soon.  A girl’s got to have limits!   She already told Michaud “no overnights.”  She didn’t say it would necessarily be forever, but she wanted to hold that out for a possibility in the future if the relationship continues to flourish. 

Mike and I liked this idea.  Mike could have made this decision for her, but he specifically said he isn’t looking to prohibit what Kayla wants for herself regarding this relationship.  Kayla must keep us informed,and many things must be discussed.  But the focus is on understanding her desires and helping her with the potential challenges. It is not about trying to impose limits. She is 23 and can handle her own relationships.  Kayla is happy with this arrangement but made it clear she wants to be accountable to Mike for her behaviors and desires regarding her relationship with Michaud.  

MY DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE
Oh yeah, this is mainly a blog about me and my DD, not Kayla.   Boring, right? My stuff is old news.  Yawn.   Well, sorry, I am still writing about it. 

After a really good start under our latest Contract, I have found I have fumbled a bit more lately.  Mainly because Mike gave me a bit of a grace period to fully incorporate a lot of my new Duties and Obligations.  That grace period is over.  

ASKING VERSUS TELLING
My Contract requires that I shall not refer to requests made by Mike as “requests” or as being “asked” to do something.  I am to refer to such requests as “orders,” “instructions,” “demands,” or as Mike “telling” me something.   This applies to the blog as well. 

Mike went through what I’ve posted since the new contract started.  He found four references where I wrote of him “asking” me things.  The only exception he has given me is if he is actually posing a question.  I am thankful for that because it would be clunky to say or write a question as a command.  For example, if he asked me, “Where would you like to go this weekend?” I would have to say or write “Mike commanded me to tell him where I would like to go this weekend”  Luckily he said I could pose actual questions he had as being “asked” by him.  But when it comes to things he wants me to do, those are never to be portrayed as him “asking.”

SPANK! And I had to write 40 lines, 10 for each error he found.

FAKE IT UNTIL MAINTENANCE
I earned a spanking one day as Mike felt I was being “less than joyful” about my homemaker duties.  I said something in a negative manner about needing to get some laundry done.  I spoke in a “frustrated and stress filled tone.” 

I am not to communicate to anyone that my homemaker duties are a burden or inconvenience, let alone communicate that to Mike.  If indeed I am feeling overwhelmed by these duties or anything, I can speak to Mike about it at a Maintenance Session.   

SPANK! And, as is becoming the norm, anything related to words I say also come with a mouth soaping. 

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. / Public Spanking!
Mike and I were talking to a sales rep at a store when my cell phone rang.  Mike was mid-sentence, explaining something that he wanted my feedback on and as a reflex, I answered the phone without any thought.  As soon as I said, “Hello,” I realized I messed up.  I promptly said I would call them back and hung up.  I said, “Sorry, Sir, I shouldn’t have answered, you were saying?”

I figured I was in for a spanking when we got home, but Mike had other ideas.  He finished what he was saying, and the conversation continued for a bit, but he clearly looked annoyed.  He then told the sales associate that we needed to “attend to something” and would be right back.

SPANK!   But, in this case, I’ll share the details, because it was atypical.  I’ve only been spanked a few times in public.  Not that anyone saw, but, well, read on . . . 

He clasped his hand across my wrist and clearly “led” me as he briskly and with purpose walked me out.  I was very aware that anyone paying attention could clearly see something was wrong, like a mad parent dragging their unruly child out of the store.  Only difference was that Mike’s look was determined, but not mad.  And other than pursing my lips and looking guilty, there wasn’t anything unruly about me.  While I sense no one paid attention to us at all, I still felt like I was being paraded through the store on a walk of shame.  Even though I knew I was in for some sort of punishment, there was a part of me that found this exhilarating.

It was a fairly crowded parking lot.  I remained silent as he led me to the car and told me to get in the back.  He backed out of the spot and drove to a new spot in a more isolated part of the parking lot.  There were still plenty of cars around us, but clearly a quieter part of the parking lot. 

He opened the back door and told me to lay down on the back seats, stomach down.  He then reached into the car, pulled up my skirt, and pulled down and completely removed my panties. He then closed the back door and he entered the car in the front.  He grabbed his “car stick,” from under the seat,  reached over from the front seat to the back of the car, and struck my bottom about 15 times with a medium force, akin to some warm up swats.

The “car stick” is a non-descript  piece of wood that wouldn’t necessarily be construed as a paddle that Mike keeps in the car just for situations like this.  Since it is just a piece of wood it gives us plausible deniability if someone asks what it is. “Oh, that piece of wood, how did that get left in there,” is our scripted response if asked by kids or anyone else. 

After the initial set of spankings, he lectured me on how disrespectful I was.  He then spanked me very hard several times.  He stopped for moment, looked around, and seeing everything was clear, spanked me hard several more times.   My eyes were watery and my nose got a bit runny, but it wasn’t an actual cry.  Sort of cry-ish.  He then told me to pull down my skirt and leave my panties off.

As he led me back to the store he told me I must apologize to the sales associate.  Oh – I didn’t mention – the sales associate was a young woman, maybe 20-ish.  She looked younger than Kayla.  While I got a bit of a thrill demonstrating my submissiveness by apologizing to Mike and calling him “Sir” in front of  her, the thought of apologizing to her freaked me out a little.

We went into the store and found the sales associate we were working with.  I felt like my eyes had dried but I wasn’t sure.  I was thankful for my conservative skirt.  I have exhibition fantasies but this wasn’t the place for a pussy-slip or to show my ass.  I wasn’t sure what Mike was expecting me to say to the associate.  When she came up to us I  told her, “Ma’am, I am sorry for the interruption I caused when my husband was speaking.  He would like to continue the conversation now.”

She paused for a few seconds, as if she was trying to process what they heck I was doing.  She snapped out of the mini-trance and said slowly, with small gaps between each word, “Oh, that’s quite alright, no need to apologize.”  And she looked to Mike and said in the same, gap-filled manner, “So, you were saying…?” 

I would love to go back to the store and ask her what her perceptions are regarding what happened.  I guess I’ll never know.

When we left the store Mike told me my discipline was not over.  He told me to go to my room when we got home as he would spank me one more time, administer a mouth soaping, and give me time in the corner to reflect with my triple clamps (nipples and clit) tightly fastened.

I have received an awful lot of soapings lately.  And yes, they all come with the “special rinse.”  I get that a soaping is very symbolic when the disobedience has something to do with what I say or don’t say, but I am beginning to dread them.  It seems like even up to a  day or two later I will occasionally get this phantom soap taste in my mouth.

I am taking these slip ups well.  I previously wrote that the thought of messing up was really disconcerting to me. I so much want to serve Mike in the ways in which I have agreed to serve him.   But the successes so far outweigh the failures that I’ve been okay with the handful of errors.  I don’t like them.  I’d prefer not to have them, but perfection is not realistic.  I am loving our new agreement and being so attuned to following and serving Mike.

Oh, and my weight loss is up to 4.5 pounds in three weeks.  Almost half a pound ahead of schedule.  Just 13.5 to go over 10 weeks.  I am stepping up the exercise but will need to do more as Thanksgiving is right around the corner!

NEXT:  194. Primal Scream!!
  

57. Maintenance Session: Apologies and Back to School Sex and Submission

We just wrapped up our weekly Maintenance Session.

Spanking revisited:
We just wrapped up our Maintenance Session. I brought up the punishment that I didn’t agree with.   At first Mike resisted a bit, saying it was about my tone and not about his frustration, but then he did admit that it was both.   He said his initial trigger in spanking me was my tone, but that he was clearly frustrated and he let that frustration into the  spanking.  He said that clearly, the third set of spankings was all about his frustration, so if we were to break it down, maybe the first set was the tone, the last the frustration, and the middle a mix of both.  Regardless, he apologized and said he knows it is important to keep the Rewards focused on the goals of our Domestic Discipline and our journey into a more D/s relationship doesn’t change that.   I was relieved that we were on the same page with this.  I am not sure how easily I would have let this go if he insisted it was only about the tone I used.

Foursome revisited:
We also talked about sex with John and Donna.  We were also in agreement there.  We both shared that we enjoyed it a lot and we both felt good about the experiences.  We both admitted to a bit of shock that we were actually living out this shared fantasy – shock as in a happy and amazing way, not in an alarming and upsetting sort of way.

We both shared that we experienced this post-coital feeling shortly after orgasm where we both wish John and Donna would go away.  It’s like we just want to be with each other in that moment.  That feeling only lasted a minute or two before we were back into loving the moment with the four of us.  We found it interesting that we both shared that post-coital feeling. I wonder if that’s a common thing with couples?

Back to School – Sex and Submission
We also talked about how things should be with school back in session tomorrow.  Mike said that once I got home from dropping our son off at school, I was to take my clothes off in the garage, before I stepped into the house.  I would remain naked all day and would only get dressed to run errands or if I had visitors other than Donna.

We also talked about Donna.  Donna works part-time and we often go shopping or run errands together in the afternoon, or otherwise just hang out together.  Now that we were having sex with John and Donna, we talked about whether Donna and I could have sex without the guys.  Mike and John had already talked it over and agreed we could, but they needed to know about it.  I would text Mike with “out with Donna” whenever Donna and I were planning to have sex.  Keep in mind thus far Donna and I have never been alone with just each other, so the thought of this really excites me.

Mike said that each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday would be a “device” day where I would have to wear something from the moment I woke up until 11 a.m. (that’s about 3.5 hours).  Monday’s would be a butt plug, Wednesday would be the tack bra, and Friday would be nipple clamps.  They remain in use even if I have errands to run.  No exceptions.   I was impressed that Mike came up with this idea on his own.  In the past this would have happened only if I suggested to Mike that I was open to something kinky, and perhaps would even have to specify what it was.  Now, he is just coming up with this stuff on his own.   It shows me he is willing to be dominant.  Of course, I love not just the dominance itself, but the fact he is comfortable coming up with ways to express his dominance.

Oh – I have been working on a really nice tack bra and will have it finished by Wednesday.  I got some ideas for it online.  I used leather and an old t-shirt and cut some bra cup shapes.  I inserted 55 tacks through one leather cup and then through the cup made from the t-shirt.  The extra layer of the t-shirt gave me something softer against my breasts and added just enough material so that the tacks were still protruding pretty well, but not as much as they would be without the extra layer of material.  You can say I am cheating, but Mike agree to this, at least for now.  It isn’t intended as a “punishment bra” so the Submissive Rules Committee allows it.

I then covered the flat side of the tacks with another piece of leather to lock the tacks in place.  I used my sewing skills and stitched it all together.   One problem with the stitching is that it pulls the layers together pretty tightly, so the new “tack pad” lays pretty flat.  I ended up having to sew this pad into the bra so that it conformed to the shape of the bra cup.  I’ve got one cup done and all is left on the remaining one is to sew it into the bra.

I continue to marvel at my personal journey over the last 17 months.  It has been quite a transformation and I can honestly say it has surpassed every expectation I had.  I’ve discovered a part of me that I didn’t know existed, and a strength and dedication that I didn’t know existed.   I am living life and loving life, every moment, every day.   It still sounds odd to say it, but I owe it all to spanking – more specifically, to Domestic Discipline. 

NEXT:  Sex with Donna. . . What did I forget?