Tag Archives: anniversary

348. Blogo, Blogi, Blog-blog. A (semi) Self-indulgent Fourth Anniversary Post

348

A FAMILY POST AND NOW THIS? 
At the risk of morphing into a vanilla blog (come on, not a chance!),  it just dawned on me I am approaching the FOURTH anniversary of this blog.   I already ignored a much more important anniversary — my FIFTH anniversary of Domestic Discipline in my marriage was officially March 17, 2020.   The good news for you in that, in so doing, you didn’t have to read a self-indulgent reflective post about my wonderful journey over five amazing years and blah, blah, blah.   Come on Jen, just tell us about your last spanking or some kinky sex!

I did promise at the end of the prior post that I would share a bit of kinky storytime in providing an update on our various relationships that make up our “Circle of Trust.”   Unfortunately, I changed my mind and that should be my NEXT post. 

IT’S A ‘THANK YOU’, REALLY
For this one, you’ll just have to deal with self-indulgent, “Look at me!” regarding my blog.  But it isn’t ALL about me.  I also want to give thanks to top commentors and referrers to my blog.   That’s it!  It’s a Thank You post!  Not self-indulgent at all.    I’ll never understand or fall into the “Look at me! culture that is starved for constant attention and validation.  (Ignore my past post inconveniently titled
326.  Look at me!  Validate me!).  Ahem.

I did an “Anniversary” post before in Post 241. Blogoversary and 134. 1yr Blogiversary, leading to the very important question that divides this world.  Is it “Blogoversary” or “Blogiversary?”   Or the more controversial, Blogaversary?

APRIL 23, 2016
My first post And the next day I made 11 posts IN ONE DAY.   Yeah, where did THAT Jenny go?   I was totally on fire to pour out my story.   Honestly, I saw this blog as “finished” once I posted my contract.  I was like, “And that’s how we adopted Domestic Discipline.  Thank you, and have a nice day!  The End.”  

Unfortunately for you, I continued, thus some of you have fallen down the DD Jenny rabbit hole of kinky debauchery.   If you’re going to go down a hole, that’s a pretty good one to go down.  (That’s what she said!)

So — as of just a few minutes before posting this — I stand at 1.3 million views from 250,000 visitors.   And almost every day over the last week has been a record day in views for me – topping over 3,000 per day.  I can only guess that Covid-fever has led to people hungry for entertainment and titillation.   Too bad they aren’t finding much of either of those things from me.   Maybe a little titillating?   If you’ve come here seeking titillation, don’t forget to do some titillation with whomever you’re with.  As the song goes, “If you can’t titillate the one you love, then titillate the one your with”  Or something like that.

WHERE THE PERVS ARE
As for geography, the top country for all time visitors is the sexually-repressed-closeted kink-capital of the world, the U.S.A. with 912k (Yeehaw  ‘Merica!).  U.K. next at 86, Canada 64k, India at 25k and Germany and Australia 23k.     To readers in those countries, here’s my way of saying hi, phonetically speaking — Ello! Ood day, eh.  Namaste’.  Ha-low, and Good-Eye, Might!

Djibouti has 43 all time.  Not all that noteworthy but I like saying “Djibouti” and thus had to include their stat.   Djibouti.  There, I just had to say it again.   It’s hard to say it without smiling.   I think with all the depressing news lately, the newscasters should end every segment with, “Djibouti!”

Viewer numbers from the Falkland Islands equal almost 5% of their population!   Either I am on my way to being the Submissive/Falkland Islands version of Jerry Lewis/France or there is one islander in serious need of of a spanking.  (I assume the latter).

WHO SENDS THEIR PERVS TO ME?
WordPress shows who your top referrers are, I assume based on clicking on a link from their page/site that sends viewers to my blog.  I have to give special thanks to one that over the last week has sent over 1,000 viewers my way. . .

Strict Julie Spanks!  A long time BlogSpot blogger who is both spanker and spankee and has over 10 million views.  Check her out!

And other notable sources of viewers came from Kinkly (awesome site where, look at me, I was ranked like #360-something out of 500 “top sex bloggers”),  My Bottom Smarts (a cornucopia of content and links to spank related content), and fellow WordPress bloggers  Collared Michael and Sayid’s Girl, and last, but not least, Sub-Missy.

I believe the importance of kink-related blogs isn’t just to tickle some prurient interest but to let those with such interests know that they are not alone.  Such thoughts are normal, and there are healthy ways to explore the immense pleasures that are locked within those interests.   So thank you, not just to those who sent viewers my way, but to all who decide to share sexually-oriented topics in their blogs.

And I want to take the opportunity to send whatever traffic I can one of my favorite places to go and read her take on sexuality, politics, dating, or whatever else strikes her fancy – Go Eat a CarrotPlease check her out.

SHARING THEIR THOUGHTS
Speaking of sharing, I want to give thanks to the brave souls who frequently comment on my posts.   I love the element of interaction that replying to comments provide.  Top stalkers…er, top commenters are Collared Michael, Naughty Nora, and Kdaddy.

WHAT’S THE MOST POPULAR?
Since it was first posted, post 25.  Intense Spanking Part II gets 3x the views than the next most popular page, 133. Intense Punishment.  Maybe the word “intense” has something to do with it?    People don’t just want to read about spanking or punishment unless it was “intense!”  Maybe?    Third most popular goes to, 247. Hey, my husband spanks me!.  Fourth and fifth go to the first and second versions of my contract.     I love that the contract is a popular topic as I believe it is the foundation for success in implementing a Domestic Discipline lifestyle.

THANK YOU
Thank you to all who read this, whether you just accidentally stumbled on it and are now queasy with no plans on returning, or are one of the cool and smart people who read it regularly, or if you are someone in-between.  I started this blog for me, almost like self-therapy.  I didn’t even consider whether it would resonate with anyone.  Nice to know that it has.  I guess I underestimated the kinky vibe that is just below the veneer of so many people all over the world.  Just remember, everyone’s kink is disgusting, except your own. 

Peel off that veneer and live your kink!  

Djibouti!

Post 349. Immersion Wrap Up

313. Contract update – 4 years of DD

313

I am going to change gears for this post and then pick up the TJ & Kim saga next time.  I will say that it’s great that Kim recognizes she has an unhealthy view of her sexuality.  Even greater, she has the strength to verbalize it and the fortitude to try and address it despite how mortifying it makes her feel.   Each time we talk it is clear it is very difficult for her to talk about it, but she forces herself to do so.   More on that on another post.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE!
This Agreement marked the 4 year anniversary of our adopting DD as our first DD agreement was March 15, 2015.   It seems like an eternity ago.  My life is so amazingly different.  A level of fulfillment, joy, happiness, excitement, and endless other words that don’t do justice in articulating the positive differences in my life.    I hope my 300+ posts serve as a testament to the positive differences.

I believe everyone could benefit from going down the first few steps of my path, even if their path is not forged in Domestic Discipline.  Simply – be 100% vulnerable and authentic to your mate, then diverge and take whatever path presents itself.

CONTRACT
My last DD Contract expired in March.  Can you believe it?  I didn’t write a dozen or so posts about reconciling my fears and desires into the changes in my Duties and Obligations.  My lack of documentation was not just because I’ve been neglectful of my blog this year.  It’s simply because we only made some minor changes that reflect we are both at a comfortable and fulfilling spot in our journey.

I came out of our 2017 negotiations a bundle of nerves – a mix of happiness, eagerness, apprehension, and sadness.  This time?  Meh.

Last time we went into our final negotiations with an outline of six major things we were changing.  This time  – no major changes.   We added points of clarity to recognize some things we’ve already incorporated and just needed to codify.  Here are some of the notable things we updated:

NAMES
Funny how we never noticed, but Mike pointed out that throughout the Agreement, he is “Mike,” yet I am referred to more formally as “Jennifer.”   Shouldn’t he be “Michael?”
Although some people do call me Jennifer and no one calls him Michael, it made sense.  We like the more formal air it gives to our Agreement.

LECTURES
This was to codify a change we made a few months ago regarding lectures.  You can read that post for what was behind this change.  Simply, I wanted harsher lectures.
The prior contract had wording such as, “When Disciplining Jennifer, Mike will strive to maintain a professional businesslike tone, avoiding a condescending or degrading tone.”

The new wording, “…Mike will strive to be stern and maintain a somber and serious tone, and lecture her as he sees appropriate.  He may use any condescending and/or degrading terms of his choosing.”     I can use our Maintenance Sessions to discuss terms I did not like that I don’t want to be repeated.  And if it is too much during the verbal chastisement, I can always use a safeword, no different than physical punishment.

Mike has cranked up the lectures over the last few months.  He is still finding the right amount of condescension that he is comfortable with that at the same time doesn’t exceed my comfort levels.  I’ve encouraged him to keep dialing it up and I would let him know.  Much like other limits, you typically don’t know what they are until you exceed them.

As Mike often reminds me, physical wounds are easier for him to see and easier to heal.  Lectures are 100% emotional and it’s hard to judge when you’ve gone too far and the healing process may be longer.   I’d something snarky and funny and self-deprecating, but, yeah, I’ll keep that thought in as it would probably get me spanked.  Why?

NO SELF-DISPARAGING REMARKS
This was Mike’s idea and I agreed.  He doesn’t want me referring to myself as a whore or a slut or anything disparaging.  This arose in part from his reaction to my “Whoring me Out” post which I wrote about in Post 271. Unfair exploitative whoring.  He felt that with him being able to include disparaging comments in lectures, he didn’t want me reinforcing those terms by referring to myself that way.   He did say there could be some latitude when I am clearly joking or we engaged in play, but the humor needs to be clear and the setting needs to appropriate.

He summed it up as, “Self-depreciation is one thing, self-loathing another.”   Not that I am someone with any self-esteem issues or feelings of inadequacies, but I understand his point.  It’s like my mantra’s  – words are power and the more they are repeated, the more power they have in your mind.

I think this one will be easy enough to adhere to; however, I know my attempts at humor some time cross the line between what is fun and what is foolish.  Oh well, nothing a few well-earned spankings can’t correct.  hee-hee.

DEFERENCE
Our Agreement has a section about deferring to Mike’s judgment.   We added some wording to make it clear it isn’t just about after the fact, such as once he has made a decision.  But also before the fact.  That is, I need to consult with him on any major decisions before making my opinion known to anyone.  I mentioned this one in my prior post re the Godfather reference.  

This was also Mike’s idea.  I really liked it as it thrills me to tell people I need to check with Mike.   Depending on the audience, I sometimes say, “I must check to see if Mike will allow me.” It makes me feel so submissive and vulnerable, yet so secure and confident in my submission.  I have no qualms about making my deference to Mike’s authority over me known to others.

I’ve also found it may prompt a question like, “So you have to ask permission?”  And in keeping with our “If asked, do tell” policy, I say yes!  And sometimes that prompts more questions, sometimes not.  

IF ASKED, DO TELL
The prior contract required me to get Mike’s permission before I could tell anyone about any elements of TTWD.  We updated the new contract with how Mike has loosened this to what we call an “if asked, do tell” policy.   If someone asks a question, I can answer it honestly and provide no more than the minimal amount of information to do so.

This demonstrates how far Mike has come in his confidence with our lifestyle.  He tends to have an “I don’t care what people think” streak in him, but it is has a few guard rails that can be tough to penetrate.  

SEXUAL OBEDIENCE
Here’s another area that wasn’t really changed, just clarified.  We made it consistent with wording from Kayla’s contract.  We don’t make it a point to compare and contrast our agreements, but where we are already similar in practice, Mike prefers we use the same wording.  He said this helps reinforces the sameness with him, as well as makes the differences easier to spot and remember.

The wording already gave him complete authority… “Mike may demand any sexual or physical activity to be performed upon or by Jennifer on him or any other person at any time and Jennifer shall comply without hesitation.”    It now includes some pointed wording such as  “Anything.  Anytime.  Anywhere.  Anyone.  Without hesitation and without regard to the surroundings.”   There are still some controls such as hard limits, safe words, and my ability to use the next Maintenance Session to request any modifications or cessation of a particular act.

WORDS ARE POWER
Beyond the items noted above, a few other wording tweaks, additions, and subtractions, all with the intent to provide further clarity.   Remember, words are power.  And ultimately the words we put into the Agreement are not as important as the wordsmithing process itself.   The conversations we had were priceless.

We don’t let the contract rule us.  We rule the contract.  We don’t run to the contract to see what it has to say, but we do periodically review it together to ensure we are in sync with our expectations and agreements to one another.  We look at the contract as a living, breathing, thing.  Not a hammer.

Having to articulate my desires, for both myself and for what I desire for Mike, our marriage, and those around us, is an incredible gift to our relationship.  And having Mike do the same is just that much more incredible.

You can do this in your relationship.  All it requires is one ton of vulnerability, and equal parts love and compassion.  Hint: the hardest part is the vulnerability, assuming the love and compassion are already there.  If they aren’t, you will never be able to be truly vulnerable.

For us, every part of TTWD has been the byproduct, not the goal, of our being vulnerable, loving, and compassionate.  Your results are up to you and your relationship – DD or kink or whatever I have, is NOT an automatic byproduct. 

NEXT: 314. Can I watch you have sex?