Tag Archives: aftercare

320. Domestic Discipline Contract Version 3.1

320

Here’s our latest contract.  I refer to it as our 3.1 Version as it isn’t that much different than the one we completed in October 2017.   I touched on some of the differences in Post 313.

And the 2017 version was a big step from our October 2015 version that I refer to as our “2.0” version.   Our 1.0 versions were the two we had from March 2015 to October 2015.  I don’t have copies of those. 

Our very first agreement was just for 30 days as we were trying to figure this out, and the second was for six months.  Confident in what we learned those first seven months, we did a two-year agreement.  Then a two-and-half year agreement.   We did it for 2.5 years because we wanted to sync up the date with our “DD Anniversary” of March 17.  Hey, even kinksters can be sentimental! 

As part of our contract ceremony, once we have agreed on all the changes, we plop our agreement into the barbeque grill and light it on fire.  We then just hold each other and watch it burn.  At that moment, we have no written agreement regarding our dynamic.  We then go inside and sign our new agreement.   

The reason for this is that we don’t want each agreement to just mark an extension of our commitments to each other.  We want them to technically all be NEW commitments, as they did not exist until we signed the new document.  Even though it may only be a matter of minutes between the burning and signing, it is symbolic and very emotional. I get teary-eyed as I am signing.  

I am so happy to have this blog as a reflection.  Like last time, contract time prompted me to go back and read my first dozen or so posts.  I just can’t believe where I was and how far I’ve come in consistently being the wife, mother, sister, friend, and person I want to be.

Okay, enough sentimental stuff.   By the way, we talked about paring it down quite a bit.  We really don’t need such much detail any more as we have internalized so much of it.   The agreement boils down to three simple things – Honesty, Obedience, and Safety.  Ultimately, we decided to leave the detail in.  It was really fun to re-read it and go through each and every word.  Sort of a recommitment, a restating of our DD vows!   Ahhhh, isn’t that sweet?  I guess I wasn’t quite done with the sentimental stuff.   Now I am. 

Or am I?  I also had this one last thought.  I’ve read various things on DD contracts and they often are structured around the “negative” of three D’s – Dishonesty, Disobedience, and Danger.  Early on I choose to make those more positive and state them in a way that is conveying the outcome I was seeking, not the behavior I was trying to avoid.   Sounds subtle, but it meant a lot to me then, and still does today.   Thus, Honest, Obedience, and Safety are what I strive for and for which I am accountable to Mike.    

Here’s our latest masterpiece!  hee-hee.   Apologize for any formatting errors I didn’t catch.  WordPress acts a bit funky with the formatting.

—————————————————————–

DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE CONTRACT

 TABLE OF CONTENTS

  1. Purpose
    II. Definitions
    III. Effective Date, Term, and Negotiation
    IV. General Duties and Obligations
    V. Jennifer’s Specific Duties and Obligations
    VI. Discipline
    VII. Maintenance Sessions
    Exhibit A.  Mantras

Whereas Michael and Jennifer voluntarily and without pressure from the other or from anyone else, are entering into a loving, caring, and consensual agreement codifying and reinforcing their commitments, duties, and obligations to one another for the Purpose stated below.

SECTION I. PURPOSE

This Agreement codifies Jennifer’s desires to conduct herself in ways that serve Michael and allows her to live the life she desires for herself and to love life, every moment, and every day.
This Agreement codifies Michael’s desires to conduct himself in ways that support Jennifer’s desires to serve him.

Michael’s statement of intent: Jennifer, my love for you is absolute, without limits or conditions.   I admire, respect, and love all that you do for me and our family.  I commit to always treating you in the manner you want to be treated.  Thank you for the immeasurable trust and confidence you place in me, and most importantly, for your love.  I intend to consistently adhere to your wishes in helping you live the life you strive to live and to be the person you strive to be.

Jennifer’s statement of intent: Michael, I can’t imagine a better partner in life.  Words fail to fully express my thanks, joy, admiration, fulfillment, and love that I receive from you and feel towards you.  I wholeheartedly enter into this Agreement with you as yet another chapter in my desire to submit to you.  I look forward to consistently meeting my commitments with your leadership to guide me.  I surrender myself to you because my love, respect, and trust in you are without end.

SECTION II. DEFINITIONS

  1. DISOBEDIENCE: A violation by Jennifer of her Duties and Obligations. 
  2. DISCIPLINEA consequence of Jennifer’s Disobedience. Other commonly understood terms for such consequences include but are not limited to “correction,” “discipline,” “punishment,” “reprimand,” and “reward.”  The forms of Discipline are specified in Section VI.7.

SECTION III. EFFECTIVE DATE, TERM, AND NEGOTIATION

  1. TERM and TERMINATION: Michael and Jennifer agree to these terms effective March 17, 2019.  These terms remain valid until March 17, 2021 (“Termination Date”). This contract shall terminate on March 17, 2021, unless amended as mutually agreed upon.
  2. NEGOTIATION DATE: Michael and Jennifer shall meet starting no later than February 17, 2021 (“Negotiation Date”), to begin negotiation on a new agreement. If the parties are unable to meet by the Negotiation Date or are unable to complete the negotiations on that day, both parties must mutually agree on alternative and or additional Negotiation Date(s).
  3. NEGOTIATION MEETING:  Michael and Jennifer will discuss and agree upon any desired changes to this Agreement.  It is not a critique of anyone’s past performance under the Agreement and discussions are focused on what is desired for the future. Michael will call the meeting to order by declaring, “Negotiation of our Domestic Discipline Agreement shall now begin.”
  4. SUSPENSION OF THIS AGREEMENT: Upon Michael’s declaration that negotiations have begun, all aspects except Section III of this Agreement are suspended.  Jennifer enters the Negotiation Meeting on equal terms as Michael, no longer submissive to him.  Jennifer speaks first to recognize that she is the author of this Agreement and can consider Michael’s input at her discretion.  If the meeting must continue into a second or subsequent meeting, Jennifer will declare, “This Renegotiating Meeting will continue on {stated date and/or time} and I am once again bound by our existing Agreement.”  Upon that declaration, the Suspension of this Agreement ends and the existing Agreement is in full effect until Michael calls the next Negotiation meeting to order.  Once this Agreement is signed, Jennifer will then declare, “This Negotiation Meeting is now over and I am bound by our new Agreement.”

SECTION IV. GENERAL DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS

  1. FOR JENNIFER: Jennifer shall, at all times, be Honest, Obedient, and Safe in her daily life, and to adhere to all aspects regarding the moral commitments she has made under this Agreement.  It is Jennifer’s expressed and unqualified intent to be accountable to Michael for any and all of her behaviors.  Jennifer shall defer to Michael’s judgment in determining if her behavior is Disobedient and defer to Michael’s judgment in determining proper Discipline.  If Jennifer has any concerns about Michael’s execution of her Discipline, she will respectively discuss it only during Maintenance Sessions.  Jennifer accepts Michael’s commands not because she is any less than Michael, but because Jennifer accepts Michael’s authority over her
  2. FOR MICHAEL: Michael shall strive to never hesitate to hold Jennifer accountable for her behavior.  Michael commits to sharing his desires with Jennifer, however prurient, patriarchal, or misogynistic they may be interpreted by Jennifer or others, and Michael will inform Jennifer if he demands her to help fulfill those desires in any way. Michael will strive to be stern and maintain a somber and serious tone in administering Discipline.

SECTION V. JENNIFER’s SPECIFIC DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS

Jennifer’s Duties and Obligations consist of Honesty, Obedience, and Safety.

  1. HONESTY:  Jennifer’s shall always be unquestionably honest with Michael, behaving in a way that cannot be disputed or doubted.  Evaluating her honesty is at Michael’s discretion.  Any doubt Michael has to Jennifer’s honesty is sufficient to be labeled as dishonest.  Dishonesty includes embellishment, deceit, disingenuousness, withholding whole or part of the truth, and failure to share with Michael information that he deems Jennifer should know is important to share with him.
  2. OBEDIENCE: Includes (1) Respect Michael as Head of Household, (2) Physical Self Care, (3) Emotional Self-Care, (4) Finances.
    1. .RESPECT MICHAEL AS HEAD OF HOUSEHOLDconsists of 10 (ten) components:
      1. Respectful Tone and Acknowledgement:  Jennifer shall maintain, at all times, whether in public or in private, a respectful tone in speaking to Michael; avoiding a tone that Michael interprets as rude, dismissive, irritated, impatient, or is in any way displeasing to him; responding to Michael with “Yes Sir” or “No Sir” or “Thank you, Sir” as appropriate; never cuss at Michael.
      2. Promptness: Jennifer shall do what Michael tells her without hesitation and without body language that Michael may interpret as rude, dismissive, or that conveys that Jennifer is in any way inconvenienced by Michael’s request, or is in any way displeasing to Michael.  This includes instructions Michael gives on any topic, any time, in any place.
      3. Sexual Obedience: Michael may demand any sexual or physical activity to be performed upon or by Jennifer on him or any other person at any time and anywhere and Jennifer shall comply without hesitation.  Jennifer will adhere to “Anytime.    Anything.  Anyone.  Without hesitation.”  Jennifer shall behave in a way that Mike perceives as oblivious as to the time, place, activity, and/or person(s) involved.  Jennifer may use the next Maintenance Session to air her concerns and request any modifications or cessation of a particular act that Michael demanded.  Michael shall comply with Jennifer’s request.  Jennifer must share with Michael all sexual thoughts, dreams desires, or fantasies she has.
      4. Homemaker: Jennifer shall remain joyfulscheduled, and optimized regarding her homemaker duties which include all household chores regarding organization and cleanliness, and presentability, including ironing.
        1. Joyful: Jennifer shall never refer or imply to anyone that her Homemaker duties are a burden or inconvenience or react to her Homemaker duties in a way that is displeasing to Michael.
        2. Scheduled: Jennifer shall create, maintain, and adhere to a written schedule of chores, errands, events, and masturbation, and submit the schedule and any changes for Michael’s editing and approval.  Jennifer will not watch television, talk on the phone, or do anything to otherwise “relax” when the schedule is not complete.  Jennifer is allowed to have music on while she performs her household chores unless she has sought Michael’s permission to have the television on.  Jennifer shall not behave in a manner that increases any household chores such as leaving her own trash on tables or counters, leaving dishes or cups out, towels on the floor, etc.  Further, she is to immediately pick up any such items others have left out.
        3. Optimized: Jennifer shall research the optimal way to perform various duties that she has not previously researched. Such as tips on ironing, cleaning, folding fitted sheets, or other household tasks. She will share such research with Michael and incorporate what she learned, as well as Michael’s preferences, into her methods.
      5. MantrasJennifer shall begin each morning and end each evening by correctly reciting her Morning Mantra or Evening Mantra three times as per Exhibit A.  If Michael is home she will recite it in his presence.  If Michael is not home, she will recite them over the phone to him.  If a call was not possible, she will record herself reciting them out loud and text the recording to Michael.  Jennifer’s Morning Mantra shall be the first words she speaks for the day, and her Evening Mantra shall be her last.  If she speaks again that evening, she will again have to repeat her Evening Mantra so that it remains her last spoken words of the day.
      6. Availability and Awareness. Jennifer shall let Michael know where she is at all times. She is to provide Michael an appropriate and timely reminder of scheduled events she attends outside the house.  She must keep her cell phone battery charged and have a way for Michael to reach her at any time.  Jennifer shall ask Michael’s permission before doing something that could mean a change in the usual routine or that could result in a delay in the performance of her Duties and Obligations.
      7. Permission: Jennifer shall ask Michael’s permission when; leaving the house for other than scheduled errands, faced with decisions regarding her social calendar, such as friends asking her to lunch, when a repairman asks for approval on work to be done, or when family members make a request of her time.  When such decisions are needed she is to let the person know using wording similar to:  “I need to check with my husband.”
      8. Deference: Consistent with the respectfulness, dutifulness, and obedience that Jennifer desires, Jennifer shall defer to Michael’s judgment on any matter that Michael and Jennifer may disagree on.  She may calmly discuss the matter at a Maintenance Session and any discussion ends when Michael says it ends, and any decision he makes will be accepted by Jennifer.  Jennifer shall also consult with Michael on any major decisions before Jennifer makes her opinions known to anyone other than Michael.  Jennifer will always defer to Michael in public, never questioning his statements and never offering her opinion unless Michael has asked.
      9. Loyalty: Jennifer shall never complain to others about Michael or about any of her responsibilities.  Complaining includes coming across as burdened, frustrated, annoyed, or inconvenienced by Michael or by her Duties and Responsibilities.  Any of Jennifer’s concerns or complaints should be aired only to Michael.   Further, accounts Jennifer provides to others regarding Michael or her Duties and Obligations should always be done in positive terms with reverence and joy.
      10. Assignments At any time and at his full discretion, Michael may provide Jennifer with a specific Assignment such as reading a particular book or doing research, as well as providing a written report to him on the book or research.  The Assignment may also encompass any other tasks that he may assign for any reason.
    2. PHYSICAL SELF-CAREconsists of four components:
      1. Physical Well-Being: Jennifer shall look after her physical well-being; bathing, brushing and flossing teeth (no cavities),  maintaining weight acceptable to Michael, exercising to Michael’s satisfaction, going to regular doctor, dental, optometrist, or other medical appointments, taking medications as prescribed, getting the flu shot, maintaining OTC meds (vitamins, etc.), and getting good rest, including adhering to a bedtime prescribed by Michael.
      2. Physical Appearance: Jennifer shall maintain a physical appearance pleasing to Michael and subject to all his demands.  These demands include but are not limited to; maintaining hair that is presentable and styled to Michael’s liking, maintaining or attaining a weight to Michael’s liking, putting on sufficient make up as early in the morning as reasonable, and maintaining pubic hair according to Michael’s demands, whether that be to partially or wholly shave, trim, shape, or grow out. Jennifer shall seek Mike’s permission and approval before obtaining any body piercings, tattoos, or any type of body modification, including the removal of existing piercings.
      3. Attire: Jennifer shall be fully nude at home unless given permission by Michael to the contrary.  Jennifer has Michael’s implied permission for things such as a solicitor or delivery person who comes to the door but Jennifer shall inform Michael of this.  Michael may deem that Jennifer is in violation if he feels the situation did not warrant her to be clothed.   Whenever possible Jennifer should ask Mike for permission to be clothed before donning clothes in the house.  When Jennifer is dressed, whether in public or in private, Jennifer shall dress consistent to Michael demands, including whether or not she is to wear a bra or panties.  Jennifer shall always ask Michael’s permission to remove her nipple piercings.
      4. Gracefulness: Jennifer shall walk gracefully, sit down smoothly, and assume a pretty sitting posture, in public at Michael’s discretion. Michael shall correct her if she is not presenting herself gracefully.
    3. EMOTIONAL SELF-CARE Consists of five components:
      1. FeelingsJennifer shall avoid overextending her time and emotions to other family members or friends. Jennifer shall comply with any demand from Michael regarding decreasing or eliminating her attention on others.  Jennifer shall always share with Michael any negative feelings she may be having about any person, experience, or subject.  Such negative feelings include but are not limited to anxiety, boredom, irritation, sadness, stress, and jealousy.  Any cussing by Jennifer for any reason at any time will be deemed a failure to properly express her feelings.
      2. Relationships: Jennifer shall maintain healthy, positive relationships with friends and family.  Jennifer will cut off relationships that Michael believes are unhealthy; however, Maintenance Sessions can be used for open and respectful dialogue and Michael must allow Jennifer to make reasonable attempts to improve a questionable relationship before Michael forbids it.
      3. Workload: Jennifer shall only take on tasks she can handle.  It is at Michael’s discretion to determine if she has taken on too much.  Behaviors Jennifer is known to exhibit when overworked include but are not limited to: missed deadlines, missed appointments, leaving the house without her cell phone or other items needed for that errand, not keeping personal belongings clean and in working order (if broken, repairs must be quickly arranged).  Other indicators are at Michael’s discretion to identify and for Jennifer to self-report as soon as she begins to feel burdened by her workload.
      4. Masturbation: Jennifer shall masturbate alone and to climax three times a week, not including any additional demands from Michael.  Two of the three masturbation session must be written into her weekly Homemaker Schedule per Section V.2.1.4.2.
      5. Journaling: Jennifer must maintain a handwritten daily journal addressing these topics
        1. Jennifer’s reflection on significant events of the day, including any Discipline she may have received that day.
        2. Any Disobedient act of Jennifer’s that Michael was not aware of.
        3. Insights into her required masturbating, including details of when, where, how, and for how long she masturbated.
        4. A detailed account of any sexual activity she had with anyone other than Michael if Michael was not present during the activity, including details on the acts performed and how she felt before, during, and afterward.
        5. Points of clarity she is seeking regarding any topic Jennifer wants to address at Maintenance.
        6. Any concerns or troubling thoughts she has on any topic, including any moments she may not have felt submissive or acted as submissively as she would have liked.
      6. Self-disparaging Remarks: Jennifer shall never disparage herself for any reason, such as referring to herself as a whore, slut, or any other negative term.  While she may do so for humor, it is at Michael’s discretion as to whether the humor was appropriate.  
    4. FINANCES: Jennifer shall keep within the budget and never make household purchases beyond basic necessities, as defined by Michael, such as food and toiletries without Michael’s permission, regardless of the cost of the item.  If something needs to be returned, she is to promptly return it.  She does not leave lights on in a room if she is the last to exit and she is not to waste water or any household materials.
  3. SAFETY consists of the following:
    1. RISK OF ACCIDENT, INJURY, OR THEFT: Jennifer shall not engage in activities that increase the risk of accident or injury to herself or others.  This includes but is not limited to any traffic violations whether ticketed or not, leaving a pan on the stove, texting while driving, using the cell phone in other than hands free while driving, or unsafe activities such as leaving things on the floor that present a trip hazard (whether or not anyone actually has tripped), or standing on a ladder without someone being there for support. Further, if Jennifer breaks something, Michael will determine if it was reasonable to assume her action could have led to the breakage.  Jennifer shall never run out of gas while driving, shall make sure the house is locked when she leaves it unoccupied, shall not leave her credit or debit card or drivers license at any store or office, and shall make sure the garage door is closed after she comes home.
    2. RISK OF JUDGMENT OF FAMILY OR FRIENDS: Jennifer must show discretion and respect for her and her family’s safety regarding sharing aspects of her lifestyle with others.  Such aspects include but are not limited to Domestic Discipline, Dominant/submissive, Polyamory, or Swinging. Jennifer shall not initiate disseminating such information but is free to answer any direct question someone may have of her about those aspects of her lifestyle.  Such answers should provide the minimal amount of information necessary to truthfully answer their question.  This includes sharing additional details with people who are already aware of some or all aspects of her lifestyle.  Jennifer shall promptly share with Michael any such disclosures she made to someone.  It will be at Michael’s discretion to determine if such disclosure was consistent with Jennifer demonstrating appropriate discretion and respect for Safety.

SECTION VI: DISCIPLINE

  1. GENERAL GUIDELINES:
    1. MICHAEL’S AUTHORITY: Jennifer grants Michael full and ultimate authority to determine the appropriate Discipline Jennifer is to receive.  Michael may use his discretion to provide any Discipline not explicitly defined or explained in this Agreement.
    2. DISPUTES: If Jennifer feels her Discipline was not consistent with the intent or spirit of this Agreement, she is to say nothing at the time of the Discipline and accept it without complaint or use her Safe Words to modify or stop the Discipline.  She can then use the next Maintenance Session to discuss her concerns about the Discipline she received.
    3. SAFEWORDS: Jennifer can use two safe words when receiving Discipline.  Use of a safe word will not subject Jennifer to additional Discipline for her use of the said safe word.
      1. Yellow instructs Michael to pause.  Michael will ask Jennifer if it is okay to resume that specific activity that caused her to call “Yellow” or if he needs to alter the Discipline.  The Discipline will not resume until Jennifer indicates it is okay to either proceed with the Discipline that was being given or she indicates that different Discipline is needed.
      2. Red instructs Michael to stop.  Michael and Jennifer will discuss whether or not the Discipline can resume in some alternative form.  It will be at Jennifer’s discretion to resume; else it will be considered complete and After Care will commence.    
    4. HARD LIMITS: Jennifer may alter, add, or remove any Hard Limits at any time.  Current hard limits include Blood, Branding, Breath Play, Gun Play, Fire Play, Knife Play, Piercing (in the context of play or Discipline), Scat, and any illegal activities.
  2. DISCIPLINE TIMING/LOCATION: Michael will strive to promptly administer all Discipline.  When Michael determines it is not possible to quickly administer Discipline, it will be administered as soon as reasonably possible.  Jennifer agrees to be subject to Discipline at any time, at any place, without regard to how public or private it may be, regardless who else may be present, and regardless the type of Discipline Michael chooses to administer, whether verbal, physical, bare bottom, or otherwise.  If Michael is comfortable administering the Discipline at a given time and place, Jennifer must accept the Discipline in that given time and place.  When Discipline is provided at home and Michael directs Jennifer to go to her room, it will follow the Discipline Ceremony as per Section V.4.; otherwise, it will follow Section V.5.
  3. DISCIPLINE INTEGRITY: Discipline shall generally be given in a calm, purposeful, and resolved manner, with the exception of lectures.  Jennifer expressly desires Michael to be as stern, serious, and mean as he chooses when lecturing her.  Michael may use condescending and/or degrading terms of his choosing.  Michael shall determine the type, duration, and intensity of the Discipline necessary for Jennifer to be Reflective, Remorseful, and Surrendered.  Jennifer’s demeanor and body language shall be consistent with being Reflective, Remorseful, and Surrendered, and is subject to Michael’s interpretation.  Michael shall perform appropriate After Care and perform the Closing Ceremony to mark the end of that Discipline.
    1. Remorseful: Jennifer should feel remorse, not sorrow. Her remorse is expected to be for both letting Michael down for failing to be Honest, Obedient, or Safe, and for letting herself down for failing to uphold her Duties and Obligations in being submissive to Michael.
    2. Surrendered: Jennifer must be physically and emotionally surrendered while being Disciplined, granting Michael complete ability to deliver the Discipline.  This means no pulling away, pushing Michael’s hand, or in any way interfering with the Discipline. Unless instructed otherwise, Jennifer will avoid eye contact with Michael.  If she is standing, her head and eyes should be facing downward with her hands clasped behind her back. Jennifer encourages Michael to verbally demand her to present and maintain specific surrendered postures.
    3. AftercareMichael is to comfort Jennifer by cuddling her and maintaining a comforting mindset with affirming words of love and commitment. No lecturing during After Care as all the focus is on expressing love for Jennifer and reassuring all is forgiven. 
    4. Closing CeremonyAt the completion of the Discipline, Michael will say, “All is forgiven.”  Jennifer will respond, “All is forgiven.”  This serves as a sign that Michael has forgiven her and that Jennifer has forgiven herself.   Further, Michael harbors no negative feelings towards Jennifer for her need for Discipline, and Jennifer harbors no negative feelings towards Michael for his administering Discipline.  Life moves on in peace.   
      .
  4. DISCIPLINE CEREMONY:  When Jennifer is directed to go to her room to be Disciplined.
    1. Upon entering the room Jennifer will disrobe if not already nude. 
    2. Jennifer shall stand facing the designated corner waiting for Michael. Absent any other instructions from Michael regarding her posture, her default posture will be to stand upright, with her hands to her side, palms open and touching the side of her legs. 
    3. Jennifer will not make eye contact or even acknowledge Michael when he enters the room. Jennifer is to remain silent and await any command.  Michael may demand that Jennifer retrieve an implement or he may have already selected one.  Michael will then call Jennifer over.
    4. Jennifer is to remain silent and kneel down in front of Michael with her eyes open and her head bowed.
    5. Michael speaks first and asked Jennifer to state why she is being Disciplined.  Jennifer must look up and into Michael’s eyes and accurately state why.   If she does not know or is inaccurate, Michael may choose to increase the severity of the Discipline.  When Jennifer speaks she must speak clearly, calmly, and matter-of-factly so that Michael can easily hear.  While maintaining eye contact with Michael, Jennifer must recite her Discipline Mantra per Exhibit A.  Jennifer is then to return to bowing her head and avoiding eye contact until After Care.
    6. Michael shall thank Jennifer for recognizing her Disobedience and her acceptance of his leadership and authority.  Michael may begin or continue to lecture Jennifer.
    7. Michael will instruct Jennifer as to the position she must take.  Michael will then administer the Discipline and may continue lecturing throughout. Michael may assign other Discipline(s) such as writing lines, corner time, or anything else at his discretion before initiating the Closing Ceremony per Section VI 3.3 and Section VI.3.4
      .
  5. IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINE:  When Michael administers Discipline on the spot, without sending Jennifer to her room.
    1. Michael will provide Jennifer instructions regarding a location suitable to him to provide the Discipline, including on the spot she where she stands.  She is to follow Michael’s instructions regarding the removal of any or all clothing and as to what position she is to take.     
    2. Jennifer is not to object or speak. She is only to immediately comply without regard to the surroundings.
    3. Michael will deliver her initial Discipline.  Immediate Discipline is given without warm up, with strokes that are in quick succession and continue as long as Michael wishes.   The intent is to create a sort of “Shock and Awe” such that Jennifer knows that she may be subject to quick and immediate Discipline the moment she is Disobedient. 
    4. Michael will ask Jennifer why she is being Disciplined.  Michael will administer additional Discipline if Jennifer is uncertain or incorrect.  Michael will then explain to Jennifer why she earned the Discipline. 
    5. Jennifer shall receipt her Discipline Mantra per Exhibit A.
    6. Michael may lecture Jennifer as he deems necessary and will then Discipline Jennifer a final time.  Michael may assign other Discipline such as writing lines, corner time, or anything else at his discretion before initiating the Closing Ceremony per Section VI.3.3. and Section VI.3.4.
  6. MAINTENANCE DISCIPLINE: All Maintenance Sessions will begin and end with a spanking at Michael’s discretion.  These are not intended as punishment, but as a reminder of Jennifer’s submission and to provide her appropriate release as per Michael’s discretion. 
  7. CATEGORIES OF DISCIPLINE
    1. SPANKING DISCIPLINE consists of Jennifer being spanked with an implement of Michael’s choice, or by hand.  She may be spanked on any part of her body that Michael determines is appropriate for her Discipline.
    2. NON-SPANKING PHYSICAL DISCIPLINEconsists of any physical discipline other than a spanking.  It includes but is not limited to breast bindings, nipple clamps, tack bra, butt plug, nipple and/or clit clamps, enemas, or any other device or implement intended to cause appropriate discomfort consistent with the Discipline Michael wants to administer.
    3. NON-PHYSICAL DISCIPLINEincludes but is not limited to corner time, kneeling, loss of privileges such as television or internet or seeing family or friends.  Any restrictions on seeing family or friends is not to exceed one week. 
    4. VERBAL DISCIPLINEconsists of any verbal admonishing and/or lecturing Michael may direct at Jennifer.  It is rarely given by itself as behaviors requiring Verbal Discipline most often require other forms of Discipline be administered.

SECTION VII. MAINTENANCE SESSIONS

  1. SUNDAY SESSIONS consist of  Michael and Jennifer meeting to discuss certain topics allowing Jennifer to seek clarification on any Discipline or any other aspect of their dynamic, have Michael review Jennifer’s behavior and progress, have Jennifer present her Daily Journal for inspection, and for Jennifer to receive Maintenance Discipline as per guidelines in Section VII.3.
  2. THURSDAY SESSIONSconsist of Michael and Jennifer meeting with Kayla to review the collective triad dynamic with the intent of maintaining and fostering health and open communication between the three of them.  Jennifer will receive Maintenance Discipline per Section VII.3.
  3. MAINTENANCE SESSION CEREMONY Jennifer shall be nude throughout and will begin with Michael administering her first Maintenance Discipline.
    1. Much like After-Care, Michael and Jennifer will embrace and Jennifer will speak, reaffirming her love and respect for herself, her family, and for Michael.  Michael will, in turn, express his love for Jennifer and thank her for the commitment of personal responsibility she has made and state his continued support to help her become the person she wants to be.
    2. SUNDAY SESSIONS:  They will then discuss Jennifer’s behaviors and Discipline that week.  All discussions will focus only on that week.  Jennifer will not bring up past issues as those issues are considered resolved. Jennifer will present her Daily Journal to Michael for his review and inspection.
      Jennifer will self-report on any Disobedience that occurred that week for which Michael was unaware. Michael will administer any Discipline he deems necessary for any of Jennifer’s self-reported Disobedience, as well as for any Journal shortcomings.
      Michael will lecture Jennifer as to his expectations of her for the coming week and may choose to dialogue with Jennifer.
      Jennifer will be given corner time for self-reflection as determined by Michael.  Michael may choose to leave the room, stay, or come and go during her corner time.  When corner time is up, she is to masturbate to climax.  After Jennifer’s orgasm she is to lay in bed, meditate, and it is acceptable for her to fall asleep as she waits for further instruction.
      When Michael determines her self-reflection time is complete, he will call Jennifer over.  She is to kneel in front of him, look up into his eyes, and recite her Morning and Evening Mantras per Exhibit A.  She will then bow her head and reach out her hands.  Michael may wait for as long as he chooses before holding her outstretched hands.  While holding her hands, Jennifer will remain kneeling with her head bowed.
      When Michael is ready, he will instruct Jennifer to take a position and receive her last Maintenance Discipline.
      Appropriate After-Care is administered and the Maintenance Session is over
    3. THURSDAY SESSIONS: After Maintenance Discipline is given, the remainder of the Thursday sessions are unstructured and at Mike’s discretion.  They may include a final Maintenance Discipline.
      .

EXHIBIT A:  MANTRAS

  1. MORNING MANTRA
    “Today I desire submission;

    through humility, not humiliation,
    through service, not suffering, 
    through being present, not in pain
    through being useful, not used,  
    through discipline, not punishment, 
    through focusing on Michael’s desires, my only need and purpose.”
  2. EVENING MANTRA
    “Thank you, Michael. 
    Thank you, Michael, for leading, as I follow you.
    Thank you, Michael, for working, as I serve you.

    Thank you, Michael, for providing, as I appreciate you.
    Thank you, Michael, for guiding, as I trust you.
    Thank you, Michael, for deciding, as I obey you.
    I look forward to tomorrow when we get to do it all again.
  3. DISCIPLINE MANTRA
    I accept your leadership and authority over me.
    I accept whatever discipline you decide that I have earned.
    I accept and appreciate the punishment I have earned
    I apologize for {transgression} as that does not represent the person and wife I want to be.
    I apologize that you have to take the time to correct me
    I am ready to be punished.

Next: 321. Perception is Reality

101. Compersion – with a side of Submission and Spanking

orders

I started writing this over the weekend although didn’t post until now.  Kayla has moved in, but let me first take you back about a week or so . . .

Kayla was spending more time with us as her move-in date neared.  She would pop-in at various times of the day, and evenings, and spent the night a few times.  Mike then realized something was wrong and he told Kayla she could no longer just show up as she pleased.  It was very un-sub like! 

For context – This began on Wednesday, December 14.   Our son J would be off for the Christmas and New Year’s break starting Monday, 12/19.  In addition, Mike was working from home all day for the 15th and 16th.

THE SCHEDULE
Mike told her that he felt it was unwise and unsubmissive to allow her to pick-and-choose when to be submissive or when she wanted to sleep with us.  She must come over on Thursday and Friday, arriving at 9am and that she would leave at 4pm.  That night she was expected to return and spend the night with us, and also come over for dinner and spend the night on Saturday.  For the following week they would discuss her needs and he would set a firm schedule for her.  The alternative to all of this would be that she could not come over until the move in date.

Mike’s actions were a pleasant surprise to me.  I love it when he does dom-like things that I am not expecting.  I found it erotic to hear his firm commands to Kayla regarding her schedule.   It also showed great awareness on his part for needing to exert his dominance as her carefree approach to her coming and going was not in keeping with a submissive mindset. 

Her only response was “Yes, Sir. I’ll stick to your schedule.”  Mike didn’t end his instructions there.

THE PUNISHMENT
Mike told her that her unsub-like attitude deserved punishment.  For her visit on Thursday and Friday she is to text him just before arriving to ensure J was not home.  She was to let herself in and immediately disrobe once inside.  She was not to say anything to me (if I was home) and was to immediately go and choose a spanking implement and go into Mike’s office.  Once there she was not to make any eye contact with Mike at any time.  She is to stand in the corner, holding the implement, and awaiting further instruction.  When he is ready she is to get on her knees and hold up the implement to Mike, again without making eye contact.  Mike will then instruct her as to the position she is to take and he will then spank her for five minutes at the speed and force of his choosing.  He again stressed she is not to make eye contact with him.  She will be instructed when to leave the room and there will be no aftercare.  She is to return at the top of every hour, never early and never late and this scene will be repeated.  The “closing ceremony” will take place at the 3pm.session.  (As per both my contract and Kayla’s, the closing ceremony outlines the aftercare that occurs after a punishment).

“ELABORATE”
He asked Kayla what her feelings were about this.  As I covered in other posts, Kayla has a hard time expressing herself and one of the things she wants to work on is sharing what is truly on her mind.  As part of her contract she is expected to explain her feelings anytime she is asked.   If her answer is unsatisfying she will be asked to “elaborate.”  That word is her queue that she has one last chance to express herself to our satisfaction or else she will be punished.  No stammering or hesitations.  It’s okay if she is uncertain, but she must state whatever comes to mind and she is allowed to amend or elaborate as necessary.  The key is she needs to express something, anything.  It doesn’t have to be “correct.”  Just quickly express her feelings with whatever words come to mind. 

To Kayla’s credit, she had a quick and thorough answer.  “I feel good about it, Sir.  I deserve it and while it makes me anxious, it also makes me happy to know that you are looking out for the things I said I needed and wanted.  I am ready.”   No need to elaborate there.

Kayla arrived the next morning, on time, and proceeded according to plan.  Kayla picked a medium-sized wooden paddle for her first spanking of the day.  Despite my curiosity I avoided hanging out near Mike’s office. 

COMPERSION
It will be odd to some of you but I felt that this punishment was between Mike and Kayla.  In my mind any eavesdropping on my part would diminish their experience together.  I feel that way in general and not just about this particular punishment.  I want Mike and Kayla to have a relationship that doesn’t always include me.   It excites me to allow Mike to explore on his own (as per Post 90 – Mike’s Date Night with Donna).  I know that is counter-culture and is contrary to how I am “supposed” to feel.  But it is my true feeling – I enjoy Mike’s enjoyment, even when it means he is experiencing something without me. 

I also enjoy it for Kayla.  I love the thought that she is exploring and experiencing a relationship with Mike that is her own – without my interference.  I am around plenty, and I am involved plenty, so there is no reason for me to insert myself at every opportunity to do so just because I am able.  I already told Mike and Kayla they don’t have to inform me of the things they experience together.  They can share if they are wanting to share, but they shouldn’t do so out of a sense of obligation to share with me.  I get a thrill out of thinking of Kayla and Mike’s relationship as their own, different from my relationship with Mike and different from my relationship with Kayla.   Compersion!  I never heard the term until recently but it fully describes what I feel.    

BACK TO THE SPANKING
Although I avoided going near Mike’s office, I could hear Kayla crying.  When she came out she immediately came to me and had me hold her.  I just let her cry for a while and eventually asked her what she was feeling.  She said it was a mixed bag of emotions.  Part good – happy and love.  Part bad – disappointment and embarrassment.  She felt she let Mike down and also felt embarrassed in front of me.   Oh, and of course, part of her, her ass to be precise, felt bad from pain. 

I reassured her that her feelings were normal and I feel that way too at times.  I told her that sometimes I have to remind myself that Mike does not feel let down.  Our submission is about our commitments to ourselves and feelings of letting someone down should be directed to ourselves.  Then, use that feeling as fuel for upholding the things we committed to.   As far as being embarrassed in front of me, I told her that for me, I relate the feeling of embarrassment to one of vulnerability.  As a submissive I thrive on feeling vulnerable to Mike, thus embarrassment is welcomed and enjoyed.  She wants to be submissive to me, thus her embarrassment is actually demonstrating the vulnerability she is feeling and that vulnerability in turn demonstrates her submission.  I encouraged her to try to welcome that feeling and wear it with pride, not shame. 

She stopped crying and said she thinks she gets it.  She then said her other feeling was one of being anxious over the rest of the day as she was in for many more sessions (six more!).  She wasn’t sure she could take it.   I told her I could relate.  One of the worst parts of a deferred punishment is the deferring – that waiting and knowing what is to come.  I told her ultimately she would need to discover what works best for her in dealing with that feeling, however, I would share how I do it.
 
Again, I try to tie it back into my submission.  In this case Mike is choosing to prolong the punishment and purposely making her feel the anticipation of what is to come.  So if that anticipation manifests itself as anxiety, or nervousness, or whatever the feeling is, it is that feeling that we are submitting ourselves to. That doesn’t make the feeling go away, but for me it makes it easier to accept and helps make it feel more positive than negative.  So whether we are submitting to a spanking that physically hurts, or submitting to the anxiety of the deferred punishment, it is still all about submission.  In that way, it makes me joyful.  Lastly, as for the pain part, I reminded her that the safe words are there for a reason and don’t hesitate to use them. 

#2
Kayla became more apprehensive as the top of the next hour approached but I chose not to bring it up or ask her anything as I thought it would just add to her anxiety.   She went to Mike’s office and soon I again heard her cries.  She came out and again rushed into my arms.  I didn’t say anything to her for some time.  I just held her and rubbed her back.  As she calmed down I asked her again how she was feeling.  She said that it was better than the first time.  She tried to connect the various feelings with her submission and that “sort of” worked.  She said she wasn’t completely there, but felt better about it.  She also said she longs for the closing ceremony with Mike and that she feels empty leaving the punishment without him holding her.   I simply acknowledged that this was tough and I can imagine feeling the same way and I was sorry she had to go through that. 

#3
Another hour and another spanking.  I didn’t hear any crying but could hear an occasional “Ow!”  She came out teary eyed but did not need my consoling.  She told me it hurt like heck but she was able to get through it and is determined to get through it.  I reminded her not to hold back her feelings and if she needs to cry, cry.  She said she did not and the feelings of embarrassment or of letting Mike down were gone.  She said any look of distress was simply due to her throbbing butt, which, after three sessions, was quite red.  

#4
Another hour and another spanking.  I didn’t hear anything coming out of the room.  When she emerged she was teary eyed but smiling.  She told me that Mike put down the implement and simply used his hand.   While she got a “ton of spankings” they didn’t seem as intense to her.  When she showed me her ass I could see that every square inch was red.  One thing with hand spankings is that it is easier to direct your aim to specific parts and it looked like Mike’s intention was to fully cover her ass.     

#5
She was in there a lot longer and when she came out she was crying.  She told me she had to use her safe word several times to have Mike pause for a while.  She said it is also driving her crazy that Mike is not saying anything to her.  He just tells her to get in whatever position, spank her, and then says, “we’re done.”  I held her and reassured her she was handling this all very well and was almost through it. 

#6
She emerged with teary eyes but didn’t seek any consoling from me.  I asked her what she was feeling and she said “fine.”  I felt bad for pushing for an answer but given her need to better express herself I felt I couldn’t just let it go.  I asked her to “elaborate.”  She said that she is focused on her submission and everything she is feeling can be summed up as “submissive.”  She is joyful in her submission and any tears are out of physical discomfort only and that emotionally she is joyful and she looks forward to the final spanking and Closing Ceremony. (that’s basically our term for After Care as per the Contract).

#7
She was in Mike’s office for twenty minutes.  I walked by the office and it was quiet.  Through the closed door I told them I was leaving to pick up J.  Mike simply said, “Okay, we’ll be done by the time you return.”  

Kayla was taking a bath when I returned home.  I went to speak with her and I could see her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, but she was smiling and happy.  When I asked her what she was feeling she proclaimed, “Proud, happy, excited, love!  I am looking forward to returning tomorrow.”  I didn’t see the need to ask her to elaborate.  

I never asked Mike what occurred and he never told me.  Later he told me that Kayla really seems to “get it” regarding being submissive and wants him to continue being strict with her.   As much as I’d like to know the details of what went on in the last session, I take solace in simply knowing the outcome.  Kayla was happy.   

GETTING UP TO DATE
The next day (December 16) she received the same punishments as the day before, but in emerging from each session she never sought solace from me.  She would be a bit teary eyed, but it appeared she did little crying.  Mike did each spanking by hand this time and Kayla said she really liked that.   After the first few sessions I stopped even asking her how she was feeling as each time she said “Wonderful.  Joyful.  Happy.” 

She spent several mornings and afternoons with us last week.  J was on Christmas break from school and our son T2 also spent several days with us.  Suffice to say the visits from Kayla that week lacked the submissive intensity of the prior week.  Kayla did earn some spankings, as did I.  Nothing cathartic or unusual.  We had to navigate the issue of our sons being home, which we did by either scheduling some errands so that either Kayla or I could be alone with Mike, or, some quick visits to John and Donna’s.   

She moved in yesterday and I already have some fun stories to share.  I think my posts will continue to be filled with Kayla stories for some time.  Suffice to say Mike and I are in love with her, and she with us. 

I remain cognizant of the fact that love, too, can come with an entourage of associates (not just jealousy as per Post 88 – Something True).  We must not let it blind us to the things that could be present that are unhealthy for any of us.  I am confident that Mike and I are mature and experienced enough to avoid this, but the fact is Kayla, at 22, may lack the life experience to recognize those things.  As such, we continue to do everything we can to ensure she is expressing what is on her mind and sharing not just her thoughts, but her motivations.   Thus far, everything seems to be aligned around one simple truth.  Love. Since there are three of us, more aptly, Compersion – with a side order of submission and spanking!  

Next: 102. Sharing Salacious Spanking Stories