335. The Bond of Sex

Uh, not that kind of Bond, although he sure did have a lot of sex.  Btw, I don’t think of Daniel Craig when I think of Bond.  I guess I am showing my age but Roger Moore comes to mind first, then Sean Connery.  After that, Pierce Brosnan.  I digress. 

Sex must remain an invulnerable, untouchable, inalienable, non-negotiable, unassailable, sacred, absolute, BOND exclusively between TWO people. 

This bond is the wrapper on most relationships.  The slightest threat can puncture the wrapper, spilling the contents of the relationship on the ground like roadkill.

I am going to try and contain my rant as that is not the point of this post, but, it’s sad.  People who are otherwise loving and nurturing to each other will allow the relationship to vaporize due to a violation of that bond.   I almost agree with that bond, except the exclusive part.   There is no reason for exclusive sex to be the super-glue to a relationship that, once dissolved, takes the relationship with it.

While we feel that way, we know each one of our play partners has their own variations of what sex means for them.  With all the sex that is going on (honestly, it is probably less than most of you think), there is bound to be an incident that violates what sex means to someone or means to one of the relationships.  Sex can be a bit like gunpowder and each additional person added to your “Circle of Trust” increases the chance of ignition.  

We’ve been fortunate to avoid such “ignition,” primarily because we openly communicate and frequently check in with each other.  But. . .

NEW YORK CITY
I previously shared that for a graduation gift we paid for a New York City vacation for Kayla and a friend.   She went with Chelsea.   You’ll have to read the prior posts about her and her husband, Jaime, to get the full story on their dynamic.   The short story is that it is a DD with some D/s dynamic with Chelsea submissive to Jaime.

This was Chelsea’s first time away from her husband, Jaime.  Although Chelsea is heterosexual, Jaime specifically told Chelsea not to have sex with Kayla.  Apparently, they had been considering a threesome with Kayla and while not consummated, Jaime wanted to make sure Chelsea didn’t venture out on her own during this trip.  Out of respect for Jaime’s wishes, Mike also told Kayla not to have sex with Chelsea.

Girls will be girls!  Together in the big city for the first time.  The lights, the festivities, the excitement. . . and they had sex with each other.

Even though they knew they had disobeyed they decided to admit to it.  Subsequently, Jaime was mad at Chelsea while Mike was upset with Kayla.  It’s one thing to slip up in the moment, but this was serious as they both clearly chose to ignore their instructions.

Further, Chelsea and Kayla got upset with each other, blaming the other for letting their intimacy get out of hand.   Chelsea was further upset because Kayla said that Chelsea wanted to keep it a secret and Kayla had to convince her they had to tell.  The bottom line — there was drama!

Keep in mind both of them are young adults, 23-24.  Not to say that is particularly young, but clearly, neither have experienced this type of “betrayal” whether it be their friendship or their marriages.  Did I say there was drama?

SPANKY SPANKY
Fortunately and surprisingly, I was not very involved in this.  Mike sorted it all it out.  I know they both received spankings from their husbands and not only did it also include Jaime spanking Kayla and Mike spanking Chelsea, but Kayla and Chelsea even had to spank each other.  Nothing like a spank-fest to settle a problem!

From Mike’s perspective, Kayla’s issue was the disobedience towards him and the disrespect for Jaime.   From Jaime’s perspective, Chelsea’s transgression went beyond disobedience or disrespect.  She had sex with someone else!  The two of them had been monogamous up to that point (sort of — a bit of foreshadowing), and Chelsea had never been with a woman before.

Jaime was dealing with a lot, and he’s not the most secure guy.  He is still working at being the husband Chelsea wants him to be regarding her submission.

THEN TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE
Wait, didn’t I just say, “sort of” in describing them as monogamous?    Something else came out of their NYC trip.

During the trip, Chelsea told Kayla that she sucked Mike’s dick.  Kayla wasn’t aware of that, nor was I.  We all know that Mike goes over to Jaime and Chelsea’s quite a bit to help with discipline (that can be a post all of its own).   Mike has administered spankings and other discipline towards Chelsea many times, ostensibly to “teach” Jaime (again, fodder for another post). 

Chelsea developed a big crush on Mike.  She was always honest and open about her feelings, which had to be hard on Jaime.  It was always in the context that she loved Jaime dearly and wants to be with him, but that she did develop feelings towards Mike.  Jaime seemed to handle it well, probably because he admires Mike a lot, gets a lot of personal joy out of the whole dynamic, and he accepted that Chelsea wasn’t looking to leave him. 

Apparently, one of the times Mike was at their place, Jaime asked him if Chelsea could suck his cock.   Jaime told him something like, “I think we’re ready to try some swinging or poly or whatever it is and I want to see what she will do if I tell her.”  Mike told him something like, “If this is a good idea today, it will be a good idea tomorrow.  Let’s all three talk about this and give it some time.”  Apparently, the three of them did and Mike got good enough vibes about it that a few days later, the deed was done.

Jaime asked Mike and Chelsea not to tell anyone about it (i.e. me and Kayla) as Jaime said he was “processing” it all.  He said he felt embarrassed, both for wanting it and for allowing it, as well as for Chelsea’s willingness to do it.   Jaime was also worried about a variety of other things about “what this meant.”  He wasn’t prepared for how it made him feel after it had happened.

Out of respect for Jaime’s wishes, Mike agreed not to tell us.  He isn’t required to do so and I have no qualms about it.   My concern had nothing to do with someone giving him oral sex.  My concern was that Chelsea is Kayla’s good friend.  Anything that could jeopardize Jaime and Chelsea’s relationship with Mike will likely automatically jeopardize Chelsea’s friendship with Kayla. It just doesn’t seem fair that Mike would jeopardize Kayla’s good friendship.

From Mike’s perspective, there was already any number of discipline-related things he already did with Jaime and Chelsea that could have had an impact on Chelsea and Kayla’s friendship.  It never did.  Mike has spanked Chelsea, seen her naked, inserted butt plugs, administered enemas, and whipped practically all parts of her body.  So in Mike’s defense, is a b.j. really a tipping point to something unacceptable?

Remember the “bond” at the start of this post?  The things that threaten that bond are different for everyone.  So Jaime was processing his own emotions about it all, as was Chelsea and as was Kayla, Mike, and even me.  My issue, as was Kayla’s, was the secrecy.  Again, not that Mike owed us that information, but Chelsea is Kayla’s friend.  Kayla doesn’t have many friends her age and the two of them have become close.  Secrets put everyone in a bad spot and set a dangerous precedent.  Justifying that secret makes it easy to justify the next and the next and the next.   The one ingredient that holds relationships together more than any other is TRUST!

Mike agreed that as far as our mutual friendships go, there can not be any secrets when it comes to TTWD.   HOWEVER, it’s easy to fault “the secret” as the cause of the problem.  Who knows?  The drama may have been WORSE had it not been a secret.  Jaime wasn’t ready to deal with the emotions of his decision and maybe things would have been worse had he been forced to do so as soon as it happened.

Maybe it was better it was kept secret for a while.  It allowed Jaime time to process his emotions.  Thanks to Chelsea spilling the beans it may not have been as much time as Jaime would have liked, but, it turned out he was ready to reconcile it in his mind.   Getting it out there forced him to discuss and ultimately reconcile his feelings about it.  In the end, he felt good about it.  This was evidenced by them agreeing to join us at Immersion and Jaime and Chelsea even had their three-way with Kayla.  

During Immersion Jaime even joked,  “How do you reconcile a b.j.?  With a three-way!”    I guess you had to be there as it was very funny, especially coming from Jaime.

The drama was resolved and all is well.  But really, the whole relationship that Mike has with Jaime and Chelsea is a bit odd.  Which probably sounds funny coming from me and the countless oddities in my life.   Odd is a bit harsh.  Different!  Yeah, that’s the word.  Anyway, I’ll post about it sometime!

Next:  336.  Hello for the Kinky Side

90. Delightfully naughty – Mike’s date night with Donna

If you are a regular reader I hope you aren’t getting tired of hearing about Donna.  John returns home this weekend so things should get a bit back to “normal” (if you want to call anything about my life “normal”).   I do have some Kayla updates, perhaps my next post?  Until then . . .

I wrote this last night but ran out of time due to my “curfew” so I am posting it now.

Strange(love).
Mike wanted to see the movie Doctor Strange but he knows that type of movie doesn’t appeal to me. So today he said he and Donna were going to go see it tonight.  She loves all the Marvel movies.

Convention says I should be jealous.  Given I am no stranger to jealousy, it should be a no-brainer that it would rear its’ ugly head – but it did not.  I really am not a jealous person, with the glaring exception of what I’ve already addressed in my recent posts.

I was actually excited – very excited. Surprisingly extremely excited.  Like, way more excited than I could have ever imagined, and more excited than Mike or Donna was.  I proclaimed to both of them, “Awesome, a date night for the two of you!”

They both dismissed my proclamation of it being a “date” and said it was just a movie.   I told them they should play it up as a date – go to dinner too.  Make an evening of it. I even told them they should go over to her house afterwards for a nightcap (sex).  They thought I was being facetious.  I assured them I wasn’t.  I was genuinely excited for them.  Just the thoughts of it made me warm and tingley inside.   The whole idea was erotic to me.

They both looked at each other and I could tell that my encouragement was causing them to warm up to the idea of considering it a date.  Donna felt compelled to ask John if it was okay, even though he already told us all that with few exceptions, Mike had carte blanche regarding dictating Donna’s activities.  None-the-less, this seemed more intimate (as if sex isn’t intimate but dinner and a movie is?).  John was good with it.

Mike and Donna were still downplaying it but I was hyped up like a kid in a candy store.  I wanted them to have a real “couples” date.  I told them they should hold hands while they are out and present themselves as a couple.  So what if someone we know sees them.  It’s all part of the naughtiness and fun.

I never contemplated a date night for them.  While I am not surprised that I am okay with it, I am surprised how excited it made me.   Literally got that special tingle in my tummy and in my nether-regions at just the thought of the two of them enjoying the company of the other in a date-like setting.  I liked the idea of Mike getting time with Donna in such a setting.  Donna is my best friend and while obviously they know each other, having that informal one-on-one time is an opportunity to know each other in a different way.   The thought of them having a closer friendship excites me.

With my encouragement they added dinner to their plans.  I even cajoled Donna to go home and shower and dress up a bit and wait for Mike to pick her up.  I asked Mike to shave and wear something nice too.  I convinced them to go to a nice couples-oriented restaurant versus something that is more family fare.  I told Mike that just thinking about them holding hands or exchanging a “peck” in public or doing anything couple-like was making me wet.  And knowing their date could end with their “night cap,” – oh my, I told them that just the thought of it was making me want to touch myself.  It sure got my juices flowing.

Mike gave me an order regarding what I must do while they were out.  I can not stay up waiting on them.  I am to journal and do my blog if I wish, then put on some nice music, light some candles, and take a long nice bath.  Then, get into bed and I am NOT to masturbate (oh no, I am so ready to do that!).   He wants me in bed with lights out no later than 9:15.  He expects to be home by one or so and would wake me when they got home. He said only then can I masturbate while they watch me.

OMG!  I am already wanting to get my hands in my pants just thinking about their night out.  Then, having such a relaxing evening will just increase my libido even more.  Then, knowing I will get to put on a show for them gives one more exciting thing to anticipate.  I can’t wait!     Well, it’s getting close to bed time and I need to take my bath.  Then it is lights out – and hands out (of my panties).  Oh wait, I don’t wear panties to bed.  So technically, it is hands off, not hands out – at least until they get home!

This is all so delightfully naughty!

NEXT: 91. Undressing Kayla

69. Hot Dog! Are you ready for some football?!?

I am talking American Football for you non-Americans out there.

I am not a football fan, but Mike and John are and they typically watch games together on Sunday. Sometimes John comes to our house, other times Mike goes over to John and Donna’s.   I never go with him to John’s as I stay with our son and usually go out places with him.   When John is coming to our house I often stay as Donna joins him. The two of us visit while the two of them watch their game.

This football season is different as it is the first season since we started our foursomes. Mike said he was going to go to John’s for the game and it dawned on me, what would that be like? Ever since we “revealed” ourselves with each other, any time we go over to their house Donna stays in “slave” mode. This includes various stages of undress, or completely nude.   And now that we all have sex together, well, what does not mean for when Mike is over to watch a game and I am not there?

Mike and I had to talk about this. I was surprised that he was pretty nonchalant. “I haven’t talked to John about it, but I am sure Donna will likely be naked, going about her duties as we watch the game.”

“Yes, Sir” I responded, “and that doesn’t bother me, but, what about sex?”

Again, Mike was blasé and said, “I dunno’, I guess it is possible. Really we want to watch the game, but you never know what may happen when we get together.”

Hummmm.   Well, I felt like I was required to say, “Forget that, Mister! Nothing happens when I am not around, Sir!”   And while that rebuttal came to mind, I recognized that it was more a societal reflex and that it did not match what I was actually feeling. I wasn’t feeling any anger, resentment, or hurt. I was a bit perplexed, simply because we had never talked about whether we would have sex with others when one of us wasn’t around. I knew how I was conditioned to react, but my actual feelings were not in sync with that conditioning.   When I recognized my true feeling, I too became a bit nonchalant about it.

“Sir,” I asked, “are we saying it is okay for us to have sex with other people when we both are not present?” Mike’s response was, “I don’t even know if sex is an option when I am there for a game, but, for purposes of discussing it, I think when it comes to John and Donna that we leave that option open for either one of us.  It isn’t like this is totally new. You and Donna have had sex without John and me around.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, “but that is different, Sir. It isn’t the same as you having sex with Donna or me having sex with John.”

“Okay, yes, it is different.” He added, “Different only in gender, and not in the fact that we would be enjoying ourselves sexually without the other present. In that way, it is the same.   Are we okay with enjoying ourselves sexually without the other present, or aren’t we?”

“Sir, are you saying that I can’t have sex with Donna on my own unless you can too?” as I raised my voice a little.

“Jen, I know this can be a sensitive subject but please watch you tone. I am not saying anything as a declarative statement – yet! I just want to talk this through and get us on the same page. I am open to you having sex with either one or both of them when I am not around just as much as I am open to having sex with Donna when you are not around. Before I choose what our rule will be, I am asking for your input. How do you feel about this?”

Funny, but I realized my anger was in feeling for a moment that he was trying to convince me and tell me what we would do without my feedback. Even if my choice ultimately agreed with his, I wanted to have a say in this. Once again, I was happy with how Mike reminded me of his dominance while still seeking my thoughts.

How did I feel about this?

As I stated, I felt the “mandatory” response was to say, “no way.” But my true feelings were that I was excited about it.  My response, “I may feel differently at some point, but I am with you. I am okay with it for now. The one stipulation is that I want to know it is going on. Knowing that it is happening in some way allows me to participate, at least in my mind. And, to be honest, it turns me on a bit. Not as much obviously as being there, but even knowing what you are up to is sexy to me.”

He agreed.

“So, Mike,” I asked, “can you find out if sex is on the table, both literally and figuratively, when you go over there for the game?”   We both got a laugh out of that question.

“Sure, I’ll call John now.”  He didn’t call me out for using his name and not saying Sir. I rarely do this but I’ve noticed I will when I am extremely serious. I guess it is my way of saying, “Put aside all this DD and M/s for a second and listen to my words as I am serious.” Then, of course, I say it in a way that is meant to be funny, I guess to not sound so obnoxious or demanding.

Mike put John on speaker and was so smooth in asking John. It was as if he was asking what snacks John would have for them while they watched the game. (I guess in a way, he was, hee hee).

“Hey John, Jen and I hadn’t thought through what could happen sexually while I am over watching the game. We are both cool with whatever happens, but she just wants to know in advance if sex with Donna is even an option while I am there.”

Mike and John really get into their game, so I was not all that surprised when John told him that if he thought it was a distraction he could have Donna clothed during the game. Also, no surprise in Mike’s response that he would NOT be distracted by that. John’s reply was, “Well then, other than perhaps a half-time BJ or quickie, are we good?”   We all laughed and that was that.

I asked Mike if he would text me so I would know for sure. I told him at least this first time I really have this need to know. I know it could be a buzzkill, but, a short text is all. We came up with codes such as, “getting hot dog” to mean Donna is giving him a BJ. “Getting ready to eat” to mean he was going down on Donna. “Front” and “back” to, well, you get the picture.   I don’t know why I felt it would bring me comfort to know some of the details as they were happening/about to happen.

So, Mike went over and watched the game. He got his “hot dog” and that was all. It really did turn me on when I got his text. I couldn’t wait to remind him of something. He is going out of town on business this Wednesday and won’t return until Saturday.

I just may need a sitter on Friday!

Next:  70. What the Funk?