Category Archives: 4. Jenny is Disciplined

Sharing some of the times I’ve been disciplined

193. Lovebirds and spankings

A quick Kayla and Michaud update and then a rapid fire account of some discipline I received recently.

LOVEBIRDS

Kayla and Michaud continue their real-world-platonic / virtual-sex relationship.  They hang out quite a bit, but Kayla is conscientious of her studies and her duties at home, albeit slightly reduced duties. Overall she is balancing everything very well.  

We’ve all been tested and some results are in (all negative as expected). Mike’s and Kayla’s should be in today or tomorrow.  I know it takes some of the romance out of it, but, although unspoken, it is clear to everyone that this weekend should mark their first time having sex with each other.  It will mark a further deepening of their relationship.  A relationship that is clearly different than most and that has me fascinated, thus my fixation on sharing every detail.   (Thank you, Kayla, for allowing me to do so). 

By the way, although Michaud has an apartment (and a male roommate), Kayla has no plans to stay there overnight any time soon.  A girl’s got to have limits!   She already told Michaud “no overnights.”  She didn’t say it would necessarily be forever, but she wanted to hold that out for a possibility in the future if the relationship continues to flourish. 

Mike and I liked this idea.  Mike could have made this decision for her, but he specifically said he isn’t looking to prohibit what Kayla wants for herself regarding this relationship.  Kayla must keep us informed,and many things must be discussed.  But the focus is on understanding her desires and helping her with the potential challenges. It is not about trying to impose limits. She is 23 and can handle her own relationships.  Kayla is happy with this arrangement but made it clear she wants to be accountable to Mike for her behaviors and desires regarding her relationship with Michaud.  

MY DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE
Oh yeah, this is mainly a blog about me and my DD, not Kayla.   Boring, right? My stuff is old news.  Yawn.   Well, sorry, I am still writing about it. 

After a really good start under our latest Contract, I have found I have fumbled a bit more lately.  Mainly because Mike gave me a bit of a grace period to fully incorporate a lot of my new Duties and Obligations.  That grace period is over.  

ASKING VERSUS TELLING
My Contract requires that I shall not refer to requests made by Mike as “requests” or as being “asked” to do something.  I am to refer to such requests as “orders,” “instructions,” “demands,” or as Mike “telling” me something.   This applies to the blog as well. 

Mike went through what I’ve posted since the new contract started.  He found four references where I wrote of him “asking” me things.  The only exception he has given me is if he is actually posing a question.  I am thankful for that because it would be clunky to say or write a question as a command.  For example, if he asked me, “Where would you like to go this weekend?” I would have to say or write “Mike commanded me to tell him where I would like to go this weekend”  Luckily he said I could pose actual questions he had as being “asked” by him.  But when it comes to things he wants me to do, those are never to be portrayed as him “asking.”

SPANK! And I had to write 40 lines, 10 for each error he found.

FAKE IT UNTIL MAINTENANCE
I earned a spanking one day as Mike felt I was being “less than joyful” about my homemaker duties.  I said something in a negative manner about needing to get some laundry done.  I spoke in a “frustrated and stress filled tone.” 

I am not to communicate to anyone that my homemaker duties are a burden or inconvenience, let alone communicate that to Mike.  If indeed I am feeling overwhelmed by these duties or anything, I can speak to Mike about it at a Maintenance Session.   

SPANK! And, as is becoming the norm, anything related to words I say also come with a mouth soaping. 

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. / Public Spanking!
Mike and I were talking to a sales rep at a store when my cell phone rang.  Mike was mid-sentence, explaining something that he wanted my feedback on and as a reflex, I answered the phone without any thought.  As soon as I said, “Hello,” I realized I messed up.  I promptly said I would call them back and hung up.  I said, “Sorry, Sir, I shouldn’t have answered, you were saying?”

I figured I was in for a spanking when we got home, but Mike had other ideas.  He finished what he was saying, and the conversation continued for a bit, but he clearly looked annoyed.  He then told the sales associate that we needed to “attend to something” and would be right back.

SPANK!   But, in this case, I’ll share the details, because it was atypical.  I’ve only been spanked a few times in public.  Not that anyone saw, but, well, read on . . . 

He clasped his hand across my wrist and clearly “led” me as he briskly and with purpose walked me out.  I was very aware that anyone paying attention could clearly see something was wrong, like a mad parent dragging their unruly child out of the store.  Only difference was that Mike’s look was determined, but not mad.  And other than pursing my lips and looking guilty, there wasn’t anything unruly about me.  While I sense no one paid attention to us at all, I still felt like I was being paraded through the store on a walk of shame.  Even though I knew I was in for some sort of punishment, there was a part of me that found this exhilarating.

It was a fairly crowded parking lot.  I remained silent as he led me to the car and told me to get in the back.  He backed out of the spot and drove to a new spot in a more isolated part of the parking lot.  There were still plenty of cars around us, but clearly a quieter part of the parking lot. 

He opened the back door and told me to lay down on the back seats, stomach down.  He then reached into the car, pulled up my skirt, and pulled down and completely removed my panties. He then closed the back door and he entered the car in the front.  He grabbed his “car stick,” from under the seat,  reached over from the front seat to the back of the car, and struck my bottom about 15 times with a medium force, akin to some warm up swats.

The “car stick” is a non-descript  piece of wood that wouldn’t necessarily be construed as a paddle that Mike keeps in the car just for situations like this.  Since it is just a piece of wood it gives us plausible deniability if someone asks what it is. “Oh, that piece of wood, how did that get left in there,” is our scripted response if asked by kids or anyone else. 

After the initial set of spankings, he lectured me on how disrespectful I was.  He then spanked me very hard several times.  He stopped for moment, looked around, and seeing everything was clear, spanked me hard several more times.   My eyes were watery and my nose got a bit runny, but it wasn’t an actual cry.  Sort of cry-ish.  He then told me to pull down my skirt and leave my panties off.

As he led me back to the store he told me I must apologize to the sales associate.  Oh – I didn’t mention – the sales associate was a young woman, maybe 20-ish.  She looked younger than Kayla.  While I got a bit of a thrill demonstrating my submissiveness by apologizing to Mike and calling him “Sir” in front of  her, the thought of apologizing to her freaked me out a little.

We went into the store and found the sales associate we were working with.  I felt like my eyes had dried but I wasn’t sure.  I was thankful for my conservative skirt.  I have exhibition fantasies but this wasn’t the place for a pussy-slip or to show my ass.  I wasn’t sure what Mike was expecting me to say to the associate.  When she came up to us I  told her, “Ma’am, I am sorry for the interruption I caused when my husband was speaking.  He would like to continue the conversation now.”

She paused for a few seconds, as if she was trying to process what they heck I was doing.  She snapped out of the mini-trance and said slowly, with small gaps between each word, “Oh, that’s quite alright, no need to apologize.”  And she looked to Mike and said in the same, gap-filled manner, “So, you were saying…?” 

I would love to go back to the store and ask her what her perceptions are regarding what happened.  I guess I’ll never know.

When we left the store Mike told me my discipline was not over.  He told me to go to my room when we got home as he would spank me one more time, administer a mouth soaping, and give me time in the corner to reflect with my triple clamps (nipples and clit) tightly fastened.

I have received an awful lot of soapings lately.  And yes, they all come with the “special rinse.”  I get that a soaping is very symbolic when the disobedience has something to do with what I say or don’t say, but I am beginning to dread them.  It seems like even up to a  day or two later I will occasionally get this phantom soap taste in my mouth.

I am taking these slip ups well.  I previously wrote that the thought of messing up was really disconcerting to me. I so much want to serve Mike in the ways in which I have agreed to serve him.   But the successes so far outweigh the failures that I’ve been okay with the handful of errors.  I don’t like them.  I’d prefer not to have them, but perfection is not realistic.  I am loving our new agreement and being so attuned to following and serving Mike.

Oh, and my weight loss is up to 4.5 pounds in three weeks.  Almost half a pound ahead of schedule.  Just 13.5 to go over 10 weeks.  I am stepping up the exercise but will need to do more as Thanksgiving is right around the corner!

NEXT:  194. Primal Scream!!
  

 

 

 

187. Happy Wife. Happy Life.

187

And this Happy Wife is happiest when she is serving her husband!

I am really loving my Homemaker Duties Schedule!  One of the best ideas Mike has ever had.  And thus far it has worked as he intended – it’s been a blessing, not a burden.  All my chores are broken into daily bite-sized pieces, complete with scheduled “down time” to relax.   Down time I often use for blogging, which is why I have posted so much lately.  

And the schedule is not so rigorous that I have to “Relax between 10 and 11 today.”  It is more like, “one hour of relaxing” that I fit in at some point in the day.   And Mike has been a stickler in following up with me.  He will call or text me and ask me if I’ve “done my down time” yet.  He wants to make sure I stay fulfilled, not burdened, with my duties.

And with this frequent blogging means more mundane day-to-day things to share.  That is, if you call serving your husband as a god and being disciplined for your misbehavior mundane.  Yeah, that type of mundane!   With that, here’s several updates to my “mundane” existence — 

WEIGHT
Here’s an update on my Quarterly Goals, which this quarter is to lose 18 pounds by January 17.  Just two weeks in and I am happy to report I’ve lost 3.3 pounds!  I am happy to be a little ahead of schedule as I imagine the first few pounds are easier to lose than the last few.

What is even more exciting is that I haven’t done anything too dramatic to make that happen.  So as it gets more difficult to shed the last few pounds I should be able to simply exercise more to make it happen.

I’ve cut about 250-300 calories out of my diet by doing some very simple things. I continue to only drink water.  I switched to egg whites when I want eggs.  I stopped eating muffins or pastries and just have a piece of toast instead.  I double up on my veggies.  No dessert.   Very limited snacking and always a healthy snack.  I read labels and always opt for the lower calorie, lower carb options.  And most of all, I always leave a little bit on my plate.  Just a bite or two, but I found it serves as a visual testament to my resolve.  Oh, and portion control!  Especially when eating out, which we don’t do a lot of anymore.

Added to the dietary changes is I walk 30 minutes almost every day.  I plan to up this to daily soon.  I also jump rope at least 20 minutes every other day and again, plan to up this to daily soon.   Jumping rope is fun with you don’t have heavy clamps on your nipples, hee-hee (Post 35. Calisthenics of Doom)  

TESTING MY WILL FOR GRACE
Hee hee, see what I did there… Will For Grace.. Will and Grace.   No?  Come on, I thought that was funny.  (FYI for you non-Americans.  This is a reference to a tv show).

I am having the hardest time with the “Gracefullness” part of our new Contract.  It is hard to change something that is just so automatic, such as how I walk or sit.  Mike has been understanding and is looking for “progress, not perfection,” at least for now.

I take my Duties and Obligations seriously, so guess what?  I enrolled in an “Etiquette Class.”  There is a company that has an adult program that, among other things, helps teach things like “attitude and body language.”  They also provide some one-on-one consulting.  The price wasn’t too bad and I hope it is worth it.   I signed up for their two classes and purchased two one-on-one consulting sessions.  I joked with Mike I was going to tell them I wanted to know the best way to present my ass when preparing for my husband to spank me.  Their reaction would be priceless!  I think I’ll refrain from doing this as I don’t want to risk being kicked out of etiquette class. 

FORGET ME NOT
While I haven’t been spanked for being “ungraceful”, I have been disciplined a few times since that first disciplining under the new contract.   I forgot about a doctor’s appointment.   This falls under my “Workload” clause in the Emotional Self Care section of our Contract.

I had scheduled is a long time ago, before I was as organized as I am today.  I forgot to put it on my calendar but luckily got a reminder from the doctor’s office the day before.  I do have a little bit of slack built into the schedule for unexpected things, but not enough to accommodate a doctor’s visit and this appointment should have been expected.  Mike spanked me (hard of course, as they all are), because I failed to meet certain commitments that day due to the doctor visit. 

DISCIPLINE FOR THE DISCIPLINE MANTRA
Making matters worse, when he spanked me, I fumbled the Discipline Mantra.  I hadn’t practiced it in a while.  In some ways it isn’t something I want to get familiar with saying, since it is something I say as part of our Discipline Ceremony.   But, I need to learn it.  I said it correctly the first time I was disciplined under the new Contract.  Mike is now requiring that I recite it as part of my two weekly Maintenance Sessions.  This will help me from getting “rusty” if I have long stretches of behaving.

This is from our Discipline Ceremony in our Contract.  I thought I’d share here since I referenced it above:  Mike, I am sorry for {specify Disobedience}, as that does not live up to the standards you expect of me and I deserve of myself.  Thank you for acknowledging my Disobedience and for Disciplining me so that I may properly reflect and learn to be more obedient to you.  I gladly accept and look forward to the Discipline you are about to give me. Please Discipline me now.”

I learned it is no fun to fumble the Discipline Mantra.  I am already being disciplined for whatever behavior prompted the discipline and then — boom — more gets added!  And Mike’s go-to disciplining measure when it involves something I say or fail to say includes a soaping and his “special” rinse and/or drink.   Maybe I should rethink not having pee as a hard limit?   Oh, it’s not as bad as it sounds (usually).  I think I am more disgusted with the thought of it than the actual act.  Moving on…

OUT GO THE LIGHTS
The other disciplining I received was for something a bit different.  I left some lights on.  This was something newly added to the “Finance” portion of my DD.  Basically I commit to not being wasteful by leaving lights on or other wasteful habits.

Mike came to me and said, “I walked in our bedroom and the light was on in the bedroom and the bathroom.  Is there a reason you left them on?”

I responded with, “I am sorry, Sir.” 

“Jen, I didn’t ask for an apology, I want to know if there is a reason it happened?”

I didn’t want to make excuses and I definitely over thought my answer.  “I just forgot to turn them off.  I am sorry, I will try to do better.” 

Mike then said in his “matter-of-fact-but-you’re-on-thin-ice” voice, “That’s the second time you haven’t answered my question.  I truly want to know if there is a reason.  Was the reason that you just forgot, or was there more to what you were doing that caused you to forget?”

“Yes, Sir, I had a basket full of laundry so I couldn’t turn them off immediately.  I planned to go back and do so but forgot, Sir.” 

“That’s perfectly understandable,” Mike added, “and if you would have answered my question the first time I would just have suggested that you put the basket down and turn off the light as you leave the room and left it at that.  But since you are trying to read into my question as if I don’t mean what I say, you need to go to room and I’ll be there in moment.”

Fortunately J and Kayla were playing something on the computer, far from our bedroom.  Mike came in I ended up being spanked, soaped (with rinse and drink), and had to write lines.

PERSPECTIVE
I accept my discipline without hesitation or question.  It is part of what I need and want for myself.  However, writing about it gives me a perspective that is a different from living in it.  When I write, I can sort of “hover” over what has happened, as a viewer, not just a participant.  And the viewer in me sometimes reacts different from the participant.

The viewer in me asks, “Jen, is this what you wanted way back when?  You wanted Mike to spank you, wash your mouth out with soap, have you drink his pee, all for the way you answered him for not turning out a light?”

And my answer remains the same.   “It doesn’t matter what I wanted then.  Being accountable to Mike and subject to his discipline is absolutely what I want now!”  I may not prefer certain punishments, but I prefer the Jen of today over the Jen of a few years ago.  I prefer my happiness of today, my fulfillment for today, and my rejoicing in today!

NEXT:  188.  The Cock Block (or is it Clam Jam?)


183. Spanking with F.O.C.U.S.

183
Did you know a good spanking can be better than coffee?   I’ll get back that.

Maybe Kayla will catch the blog bug!   I hope you enjoyed the post from Kayla.  I thanked her so much for doing that.  I know it isn’t “her thing” to want to write, but she did say she enjoyed it.  Okay, now, back to that. . . 

Well, I received my first disciplining under our new Contract. I surprised myself in that it took six days before I “misbehaved.”   Ha.  It still strikes me as funny to use that word.  Sorry if that is a normal word in your dynamic.  It will take me some time to get used to using words like “misbehave” or “disobeyed.” Heck, I remember when I didn’t want to call them spankings but wanted to call them “rewards.”  I’ll get there!   

I’ve really been doing well keeping my household schedule and keeping Mike informed.  And not just my new duties and obligations, I’ve been doing well with all my duties and obligations.  Sort of a continuation of the DD Sympatico I shared before.   But, eventually there is bound to be a slip up, and sure enough, it happened.

FUMBLING MANTRA
It was actually with the Mantra!  After many morning and evenings of getting it perfectly right, I had a bit of a mind-fart and flubbed the Morning Mantra.  I got to the last line which is supposed to be, “…through focusing on Mike’s desires…” and I said, “by being…um, by focusing…um, through being….Ug!”

These are the first words I speak each morning, so I was still in bed, barely awake, reciting this to Mike.   He got out of bed and asked me to stand up and then bend over with my elbows on the bed.  I waited as he went to find a paddle that suited him.  I was shaking my head, disappointed with myself.  Of all the things I have to do, this is the one that earns me my first spanking under our new contract? 

In less than a week my mantra’s have become very special and important to me.  I really love reciting them to Mike.  They were made even more important when Mike shared with me that he loves hearing me say them.  They are a perfect way to start and end our day.  I was heartbroken that I screwed it up.  Also, while I waited on Mike, I was wondering what he was going to, both verbally and physically.   This would be our first punishment with the new scolding guidelines and with Mike’s promise to ramp up the intensity of the discipline.

THE DISCIPLINE
Mike walked over holding one of the thicker wooden paddles that we have.  This particular one is fairly wide as well, so it covers a lot of surface area.  “Don’t stare at me, keep your eye’s down,” barked Mike.

He gave me about a dozen or so warm-ups by hand, then spanked me three times very hard in quick succession with the paddle.  

“Why are you being disciplined?” he asked as he spanked me one more time.

“Because I messed up the Mantra, Sir.”  

“Correct, and what part did you mess up,” and he struck me again.

I meekly replied, “Instead of saying ‘through focusing’ I said some other stuff.”  

“That’s right, you did,” and he spanked me one more time. 

“You know how important the Mantra is to me and to you and for us to start our days right.  Spanking you is not how I want to start the day.”   And he spanked me again, twice this time. 

“You need to stay focused when reciting the mantra, just as the line you messed up reminds you to stay focused on my desires.”  And he spanked me twice again.

“You weren’t focused on your mantra, so you weren’t focused on my desires, and that is why you are being spanked.”  He then spanked me three or four times.

I was crying by this time.  A lot!  I shared before, I fully expected I would be emotional for my first discipline under the new contract.  And it was compounded by the fact that the discipline was due to messing up the mantra. 

“What is the correct line?” and he spanked me again.

“through focusing on Mike’s desires, my only need and purpose.” 

“Correct,” and he spanked me again.

“Say the word ‘focus’ after each paddling,” he commanded.

Whack.  “Focus.”   Whack.  “Focus.”  Whack.  “Focus.”  Whack.  “Focus.”  Whack.  “Focus.”

“Now spell it out for me, one letter per spanking with a Sir on the end,” he added.

 Whack.  “F, Sir”.”   Whack.  “O, Sir”  Whack.  “C, Sir.”  Whack.  “U, Sir”  Whack.  “S, Sir.”

I was in a major full on cry and my body was shaking.  This was about 25 or so with the paddle, all very hard, and there was that intense mix of pain and shame that I just recently wrote about.

“I am going to give you a few more and then I want you to stay in that position until I tell you to get up.”   He then spanked me five or six times in quick succession.  It made me drop from my elbows and on to my side.  

“Back in position quickly or you will earn more.”  

I mustered the energy to quickly comply and I knew I would have to call Yellow if he were to continue.  He then went to the bathroom and I stayed bent over, on my elbows, bawling.  He emerged a few minutes later.  

He walked over to me and told me to stand up.  He then held me and we had our “Closing Ceremony” but with a caveat.   We were in a bit of a time crunch as he needed to get to work and I needed to clean myself up and get J up and ready for school.  He told me there was one more part of the discipline that I would have to do without him.  He asked Kayla to oversee it. 

Once I was back home from taking J to school I needed a “good mouth soaping” as he put it.  This was to remind me to be careful of the words coming from my mouth.  He said 15 minutes would do it.  He gave Kayla instructions to video the soaping so he could watch later as well as what exactly he expected regarding the soaping.  “A good lather….don’t forget to rub it on her tongue….I want to see teeth marks on the bar of soap.” 

Kayla complied, as did I.  Receiving the soaping discipline without Mike home was like a punishment by itself.  Even when it was over it didn’t feel over because there was no Closing Ceremony.  I so longed for Mike to be home so he could just hold me and tell me “All is forgiven.”  I felt very distracted all day, but was still able to get all my chores done.  On the upside, I was able to skip my morning coffee from the adrenaline and endorphin rush of the spanking and crying! 

Greeting Mike when he gets home is part of my duties and when he got home this time I jumped in his arms and hugged him so tight I almost knocked him over.  He joked, “Hey, personal foul. Roughing the Master of the House!”  I quipped in a sweet and seductive tone, “Well then, maybe you’ll just have to spank me again to calm me down.”  

He knew I was kidding.  Playful sarcasm is still part of our dynamic.  Truth is, my butt was still sore and bruised from that morning, so I am glad he took it in jest.  

NEXT: Post 184. This, That, and Sex, Sex, and more Sex

177. My Final Spanking

177

Click bait!  Okay, not my final as in “forever”, but I did earn my final spanking under our “2.0” Contract.  

MY “FINAL” SPANKING
Mike and I were standing in the bathroom getting ready for bed, Mike mentioned he would like me to do a better job of cleaning the sink regarding some build-up around the drain.  He said it nicely with a matter-of-fact tone.  I was brushing my teeth but managed a quick head nod and an “Okay.” He corrected me, “What?”  I quickly responded back with toothpaste filled mouth mumble, “Yes, Sir, I will clean it better.”  I went back to brushing my teeth and after I spit out the toothpaste I blurted, “Am I going to be spanked for that?”

 “Sub fail” on many levels.

  • I already failed to call him “Sir.”  No need to possibly compound things.
  • Although I meant it as a real question, my tone was a bit snarky.
  •  I am not allowed to question whether or not I am going to be punished.

Mike reminded me that he was not required to explain or clarify, but he said he would “for my sake.”  He said the sink cleaning was intended as a “request for next time” and not meant as a failure to perform my duties.  Further, he felt the “Sir” slip was minor, as it was in a very casual moment with my mouth full.  He was going to let that pass.   However, he could not let my questioning pass.

He told me to bend over and he pulled down my pajamas.  I wasn’t nude because I planned to check on some things around the house before getting into bed and I typically don’t walk around naked if J is home.  After a few warm ups by hand, he took the hairbrush from the drawer and gave me 15 on one cheek, then 15 on the  other – using a greater than normal force.  It was enough to make me bite my lip and immediately rub my behind once he asked me to stand.   He then said, “Not enough.  Go get my belt and lay down on the bed on your stomach and I’ll be there in a minute.”

As part of our normal ritual for such occurrences, I placed the belt across my bottom as I laid waiting on the bed. When he walked up next to me he quickly grabbed the belt and in one quick motion gave me a three hard back-to-back-to-back whacks.

Mike then told me to count off after each one, up to 15.  He continued to use a lot of force.  At one point, about six or seven in, he paused for just a moment and when he resumed, I messed up the count.  Mike started over at one.  Suffice to say my butt reflected the fact that the strikes with both the hairbrush and belt were very hard.

He told me to stand in the corner and he put clothes pins on my nipples.  He said he would finish getting ready for bed.  It was probably less than 10 minutes when he returned.  He sat in a chair, called me over, removed the clothes pins, and had me bend over his knee.  He gave me about 20 more by hand.   

I was crying a little bit.  As usual, any crying has as much to do with remorse as it does with discomfort, but this one was maybe 60-40 with the pain beating out the remorse.  Ouchy!  Anyway, it was then on to After Care and that was that – except for a sore butt from awhile.    

In case you were wondering, Kayla was there during this, going about her nighttime routine.  When one of us is being disciplined, the other simply goes about whatever they were doing.  Unless instructed otherwise by Mike, we don’t make it a point to stay away, but we don’t make it a point to watch.

And that was my last spanking under our 2015-2017 Contract!

NEXT:  178.  Embracing Shame

172. A bit too Intense: Punishment Fail

172

We are about 95% done with our new contract.  A little wordsmith work and we should have it done over the weekend.  As I posted my current contract, I will post the new one as well.  

So, how about some discipline?   
I say that with a smile, but really this incident didn’t leave me laughing (nor Mike).  Part of this incident was prompted because I told Mike I could accept more breast punishments (as shared in Post. 166. My Favorite Kinks).   

This happened a week ago.  This is only the second time something like this has happened in the 2.5 years we’ve been doing this, so I guess that isn’t so bad.  I shared the first “spanking fail” on Post 52.  The Spanking that Keeps Giving.  That was 14 months ago, so again, perhaps we were overdue?

Okay, okay.  I know.  You’re like, tell us the dang story already!

THE TRANSGRESSION
We have rules about phone chargers.  They are always put back in the same place when we are done.  In addition, Mike has one next to his bed that we are always supposed to return to his bedside if we need to use it.  

Well, I needed to charge my phone and my plug was nowhere to be found.  I would have spent more time looking (easily found it later) but I had chores to do, so I used Mike’s.    I decided to take his plug with me into the kitchen.  This way I could hear my phone ring as I attended to various chores.   No problem thus far.

When my phone was adequately charged I picked up the charger and walked to our bedroom to return it.  I made a pit stop in our bathroom and put the charger down while I took a “biology” break.  As my mind drifted to dinner plans, I forgot about the charger.  Even though it was next to the sink I didn’t see it as I washed my hands and then left the bathroom. 

THE DISCIPLINE
When Mike got home, he came out of the bedroom and asked me to follow him back into the room.  He pointed to the charger in the bathroom and said, “You forgot to put something back.”   

“Yes, Sir, I am sorry.  I will put it back now.”  

“Hold on,” he said, “first drop your pants and bend over.”  

I did so without hesitation and was expecting him to either use his belt or grab a hairbrush.  Instead, he took the charger, folded the wire in half, and gave me five swats.  They really stung.  He has never used an implement this thin and small before.  The burn elicited a “Ooh, wow!” from me.

He then asked me why I needed to use his charger .  I told him mine was temporarily missing.  “So,” he said, “you not only forgot to put mine back, but you didn’t put yours back where it belongs.”

He then told me to take my shirt and bra off.  Once off, he told me to clasp my hands behind my head and arch my back.  He then gave three strikes with the cord to one breast and three strikes to the other.  They all stung but the final strike was the hardest, hitting straight across my nipple.  It caused me to drop my arms and I bent over a bit as I cross them in front of my chest.   With clenched teeth I said, “Oh, that one hurt!”

Immediately, in addition to the two thin, but dark red lines where the first two strikes landed, there was a raised whelp, dead center across the breast and nipple (Okay, to the extent my nipples are in the center of my somewhat saggy boobs…not exactly center, but you get the picture, hee-hee.  Oh wait, no laughing.  This really hurt). 

We had our  After Care and Mike apologized for hurting me, which I immediately forgave him for.  He said that he would never use wires or cords or anything so thin ever again.  I expected the pain to go away pretty quickly, but it didn’t.  

My boobs and nipple stung for a few days – if my bra rubbed a certain way, or I brushed against something just so — Ouch!  In addition, the “big strike” throbbed for about 24 hours.  And that was just the boobs.  While it didn’t seem like he hit quite so hard on my butt, it too stung for some time.  It was probably a full 24 hours before I could sit comfortably.  It’s a week later and today is the first day my nipple isn’t sensitive to the touch.    

So a couple of things in reflection: 

Why not a hard limit? 
Great time to add this as a hard limit since we are re-doing our Contract.  I briefly considered it, but decided against it.   I trust Mike’s judgement.  I know he won’t be perfect, but I don’t feel I need to create a lasting reminder of this incident by codifying it as a hard limit.  Accidents happen.  We mitigate their chances by having great communication and intentions. 
We revisited this incident at our last Maintenance Session, three days removed from the incident.  It was helpful to talk about it after we had a few days to think about it.    

Mike was very apologetic and I know he never intends to hurt me in this way.  Over the last 2.5 years he has earned my complete trust and confidence as a Dom.  This event did nothing to tarnish that.   

Is this what DD is about?
So, is Jenny okay with this type of discipline?
No, of course not.  But the result of this discipline is not what Mike intended and it doesn’t represent what DD is about, no more than a fender bender represents what good driving is about.

So, does Jenny think she should be punished for such trivial things?
Yes, absolutely!  I agree and accept that a punishment was in order as none of our rules are trivial to me.

So, is Jenny going to start posing questions to herself in all her posts?
No, sorry if that bothers you.  Don’t know what got me doing that, it actually bothers me, but oh well, I digress.

I want to go further in addressing any thoughts one may have about this being a seemingly trivial transgression.    I’ve had to answer this question before, posed by one of my sisters, so, I’ll just pre-preemptively answer the question now.

I believe if Mike fails to discipline me for an infraction it is like eating a cookie when you are on a diet.  Is one cookie going to make any measurable difference in your weight?  Absolutely not.  If Mike skipped disciplining me for this or any other “trivial” infraction make a measurable difference in my submission?  Absolutely not. 

But, we all know one cookie can lead to two, to a dozen, to a piece of cake, to other sweets, etc.  Regardless of whether or not the infraction is a measurable difference in my submission, it is still an infraction and doesn’t represent the submission I want to give to Mike.  And in DD, it is a violation of my duties and obligations that I have promised to Mike.  The phone charger issue is as deserving of punishment as any other transgression. 

Lastly, and of utmost importance, is the issue of consistency.   This is something I’ve written about in Post 158…Golden Rule of DD.   A Dom failing to discipline a transgression can be a complete mind-fu*k for a sub.   The rare mishap that occurred in this disciplining was not “cruel and unusual” punishment.  Lack of consistency by the Dom is cruel and unusual punishment in a D/s relationship.

I thanked Mike for his consistency for punishing my wrong doing, even though the punishment had an unintended result.  It did at least serve to heightened our collective awareness to be careful, especially when using new implements.  

Oh – and Mike created two new rules.  Mike’s charger is never to leave his bedside.  If anyone (other than Mike) needs to use it we have to leave our phone charging at his bedside.  And, he said no more using cords of any kind as a spanking implement.

I refer to our new contract as our DD 3.0.  Our first two contracts, which were of short duration, were our 1.0 version.  The Oct 2015 was 2.0, and this upcoming one is 3.0.

Our DD 3.0 is ready for take off.  Skies are clear, visibility unlimited!

NEXT: 173. Potpourri of my “new” Domestic Discipline 

 

166. My favorite kinks

166

As I wrote in my last post, I spent quite a bit of time helping my sister move – just the two of us sorting and packing.  And if you’re new to my posts – my sister is aware of my DD lifestyle.  (Post 116).  Our relationship has always been such that we share TMI regarding our sex life, so it was normal for her to take this extended one-on-one time with me to ask more about my DD and details about my sex life.

In case your curious – my sister is straight-laced vanilla when it comes to sex.  The wildest thing she ever did in her life was when she was 19 she “let” another girl finger her and she reciprocated.  Oh, those college years!  She has been married 30 years, and claims to enjoy the three or four “go to” sexual positions her and her husband do.  She doesn’t own a single sex toy.  She is so deprived!

She asked me of all the sexual exploration and experiences since adopting Domestic Discipline (2.5 years ago), which things do I enjoy the most.  I immediately said, “Thanks sis, this should make a good topic to post about!” 

First off, I am reminded that everyone’s kink is weird and disgusting, except your own.  So yeah, think what you want, but even if you don’t find pleasure in the things I find pleasure in, you’re just as weird and disgusting in your own way.  Ha!

BEING WATCHED
Number two on my list is something I shared before (I’ll share #1 last).  I like to be watched.  (Post 20).   I’ve been able to occasionally scratch the exhibitionist itch (Post 38, Post 139 to mention a few).  Other than that it is more about being watched by one or more of Mike, Kayla, John, and Donna while I perform various sexual acts on either myself or on one of them.  While I enjoy anyone watching, I enjoy it the most when Mike is watching. 

I’LL TAKE A DOUBLE
The rest aren’t in any particular order, but what quickly came to mind when my sister asked me was that I enjoy double penetration – more specifically, having sex with John with me on top, while Mike is behind me entering me from (and in) the rear.  This satisfies my desire to have Mike watch, while also stimulating me in different ways.  I also prefer Mike to be the one behind me because he is more in tune with me and dp can be tricky — as in uncomfortable for me, if not a little painful — if the “guy in the back” is not paying attention.  

THE VOYEUR
I enjoy watching (and listening to) Kayla.  I love watching her have sex with Mike or anyone, but I really love to watch her masturbate.  She gets so lost in her pleasure — she is louder and more expressive than I am.  She almost always talks dirty, which is not unfamiliar to me personally, but she does it more and even does it when masturbating.

I know it sounds bad, but I enjoy watching her get spanked.  Not that I look forward to it, but it does turn me on.  I identify with her in that there is so much innocence and vulnerability on display that it stimulates that submissive in me.  And I love to watch Mike spank as it stimulates my need for him to be dominant.  Just thinking about this is enough to give me a tingle.  

BOOBS
The last thing that quickly came to mind as a top pick of sexual stimulation is something that I have a love/hate relationship with.  To be precise, it is “love/hate/loooove/hate/love/hate/more please/hate/please one more time/no, stop/yes, more please/hate/love” relationship.  
That’s anything to do with punishments or rough play of my breasts – including the nipples. 

Clearly there is an intense dichotomy in how this makes me feel.  For instance, as soon as my nipples are clamped, I often quickly feel I can’t take another second of it, but if Mike removes them, I immediately want them back on.  I also like it when he slaps or even paddles or canes my breasts.  I’ve had a few of these punishments, (Post 61 and Post 133 were probably the most intense), but mostly when it comes to my breasts it has just been a clamp, a suction, or the tack bra.  Again, I can’t take much punishment as far as a wooden spoon or some other implement – I am quick with the safe word – but I find I am soon wishing I took more.  

Part of my love for this is that my breasts and nipples are so sensitive that the feeling lingers for a long time.  I actually like it when my nipples and breasts are a bit sore as it is a lingering reminder of my submissiveness.  I even get turned on when they are a little bruised – hey, can’t help it, it’s just the way I am wired.  I even like to see Kayla’s breasts marked with a bruise from a strike, or a hickey, or red from a binding.  Something about the “surrender” of the breast that intrigues me and stimulates me.  Yeah, I know, “weird and disgusting.”

CALIBRATION WITH MIKE
I hadn’t really thought of it until my sister asked me, but this did prompt me to share with Mike that I wouldn’t mind more breast related punishments.   Before you go questioning why would I do such a thing, or how can it be a punishment if I request it — keep this in mind — more than just hard limits, you have to communicate what is okay and what isn’t.  Doms and subs need to communicate to stay calibrated!

In having this discussion with Mike I learned that he purposely has kept certain breast punishments to a minimum because I seemed to always quickly go for the safe word.  He thought he was hurting me…well, I guess he was, but in a good way.   It is invaluable to be able to communicate that I am okay with a bit more intensity.  That doesn’t mean my “yellow” word doesn’t mean what it means.  He still has to pause.  But until I call “Mercy” (our “red” word), he can continue to resume whatever he was doing.

Regardless of their experience level, it is always helpful to give a Dom your validation that pressing the boundaries is okay because we have the safe word to fall back on.   Mike stated that if every punishment ended in “Mercy” that it would mean to him that he is doing something wrong.  This was an important breakthrough for us.  I praised him for how he has approached every punishment and reassured him I never think less of him the few times I’ve called for Mercy.  Not that I want to be brought to that point, but, I leave it completely up to him if that is what he thinks is appropriate for the situation. 

And just to reiterate this again — it is still a punishment and a deterrent, even if I get some joy out for it.  In the moment I don’t like any discipline, but frankly, it always gives me some level of satisfaction afterwards – some more than others.   No matter how physically uncomfortable they are, they all remind me that I am Mike’s, I serve him, I am his.  THAT ALWAYS turns me on and is my biggest, most favorite kink!  Again, “weird and disgusting, I know. . . but, so are your kinks!   

So, there you have it.  Some of my kinks that I love the most. 

NEXT: 167. What is “Mine” versus What is “For Me.”

163. Domestic Discipline Antipatico?

163

I stated in my last post that I would share details of the punishment – or series of punishments in this case.  I am not a writer of erotica.  I’ve shared before that I prefer to write about my thoughts on my transformational journey versus sexually stimulating prose.  Sorry if my writing lacks any build up, climax, etc.  It’s not erotica, it’s just the facts.  I’ll share those facts here, and then “debrief” in my next post re my ruminations regarding this incident.

I want to mention that I was going to exclude some of these details, but Mike told me I must write about all aspects of this punishment.  You’ll soon read about an element of punishment I don’t like to share regarding urine.  I don’t know why that is since I share everything else and given that this is pretty anonymous, why should I feel the need to omit it?  In any event,  here you go. . .

PUNISHMENT DRIP
Picking up where I left off — About an hour later Mike came in after he finished dinner.  He told me that he and Kayla would attend to J the rest of the night and once J was asleep he would address “my situation.”  As that could be a several more hours, he said he would check in with me periodically and “adjust” how I would wait for him.  He told me he did not want to hear anything from me – I was to remain silent and simply comply.

He brought a 32 ounce cup of what he called “half and half.”  He said if I needed tea so badly, then I would have it, and to help me think of him as I drank it, he added a little something, that, let’s just say rhymes with tea.  Having to drink his urine was not a first for me, but it is something that I have rarely been subject to.  He had me quickly guzzle all 32 ounces.  He then put nipple suckers on me, pumping them tightly.  He put in a butt plug, had me sit in a chair, and then he cuffed my arms behind the chair.  Not intolerable, but uncomfortable to say the least.   Oh, and he put the bit gag back on me and left the room.

Another drip of punishment —  Sometime later he came back in.  I was a drooling mess and so happy to see him as I was at a high level of discomfort – my butt from not being able to shift much in my seat, from the long feeling of fullness from the plug, and my nipples had past the burning stage and were well into a numb throbbing stage where I could feel my heartbeat in my nipples.  

He removed the gag and the suckers and immediately applied clamps to my nipples.  That really burned!  The shot of pain brought tears to my eyes.  Not emotional, “oh what I have I done tears.”  Just plain old, “OMG that hurts,” tears.  I was going to call out my safe word but didn’t have to because based on my reaction Mike quickly removed the clamps.   Mike said, “I’ll think of something else.”

He uncuffed me, had me stand up, and he removed the butt plug.  He had me drink another large glass of tea with whatever pee he was able to add at the moment.  He then had me put my tack bra on.  He led me to the bathroom and told me to lay down on my stomach.  He then cuffed my hands behind my back, lathered up a bar of soap, and stuck it in my mouth.   He said if I needed to go to the bathroom I was to just go there where I lay and he left the room.   After the two large glasses of drink and not having gone to the bathroom for some time before this all began, I knew I wasn’t going to hold it for long.

Another drip —  Miraculously by the time Mike came in to “adjust” things, I still had not gone, but I had to pee something fierce.  He stood me up, removed the soap, let me rinse a bit, then had me drink yet more tea pee.  He then told me to get back down on the floor. He told me to pee, and as I desperately needed to do so, I didn’t hesitate to comply.  While the release felt good, it was very uncomfortable as I was basically laying in it as it pooled around me.   He then left again.

Yet another drip —  He returned fairly quickly, maybe 10 minutes, but it felt like forever.  He stood me up and uncuffed me, had me bend over and put my hands on the sink, and he paddled me countless times very hard on my butt as my torso and legs dripped with pee.  (J was taking a bath in our other bathroom and thus far removed from the sounds).   Mike must have spanked me about 30 or 40 times.  He then had me stand and he squeezed my breasts, pushing the tacks in more than they already were.  He then had me remove the bra, which required a bit of tugging as several of the tacks were deeply embedded. 

He told me to lay back down on the floor in the pool of pee, he cuffed my arms again behind my back and put a bar of soap in my mouth.  My breasts burned a bit as the pee on the floor came in contact with some of the scratches and small punctures on my breasts.  It was only a few minutes later that Kayla came in.  She told me I was not to speak and Mike had given her instructions to clean me up.  She removed the soap from my mouth, had me walk into the shower, and she rinsed me off.  She told me to stay there in the shower until Mike returned.  I stood there dripping wet, a bit cold, and ready to get this over with.

Mike had me bend over in the shower and he caned me about a dozen times, very hard.  He followed that up with about a dozen more with a hairbrush he pulled from the drawer.   He dried me off and led me to Kayla’s room.  He had my journal next to her bed.  He told me the punishment was not done.  I needed to journal and then I would sleep alone in Kayla’s room that night and the next two nights.  I would be spanked “very hard” each night before going to bed.  In addition, as a reminder that I’d rather be drinking water than piss, any time he needed to pee over those three days I would have drink it.

I could probably dedicated an entire post to my thoughts on piss drinking.  I don’t like it, and have given it strong consideration to adding it as  a “hard limit.”   I’ve resisted as I want to challenge myself before simply prohibiting it.  After this experience, I just may be added it to the hard limits list.  The taste of pee can range from tasteless, like water, to putrid.  More often than not it is on the tolerable side, but not always.  Anyway, not a topic that you probably want to know much about, so enough said.

So the next three nights were as Mike decreed.  On the morning of the fourth night we had an official “closing ceremony” regarding the punishment.   At my next Maintenance Session Mike asked me to talk about the incident, both what it was that I was feeling that led up to my “bratting” and about the punishment.

A quick aside — Mike knows I don’t like the term “bratting” as it sounds so immature and silly, but if the shoe fits!  I accept that indeed that was an accurate term as I knowingly and with forethought made the decision to disobey.

Anyway, I’ll share my reflections on the next post.  

164.  Reflecting on Behavior and Punishment