299. PSA – Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

299

Wow, three days in a row of posting! Yea me!

I ended a prior post with,  Love without limits, and you get loved without limits. “

I need to add, Love YOURSELF without limits, and you can then love without limits, and get loved without limits.”

NEGATIVITY BIAS
Sometimes it’s worth taking a break from the salacious kinky stuff and make sure emotionally we are dealing with any negative thoughts that may arise from our hedonism.  I wrote of this in 277. Understanding myself and my submission, and even a bit in 246.  Subconsciousness of Wrong.  I only recently came across an article that has prompted me to revisit that topic

Let’s face it, when it comes to our kinks, society conditions us to feel guilt, shame, and more shame, and then more guilt mixed in with a bit more shame, all in nice big guilt wrapper with a giant shame-bow at the top.  There’s an undeniable negativity bias regarding our feelings when it comes to our kinks.

BIAS BIAS EVERYWHERE
I have always been intrigued by bias.   I believe I included this link before about the
12 Common Biases that Affect How We Make Everyday Decisions.  or perhaps the 15 Logical Fallacies You Should Know Before Getting Into a Debate.  Yeah, we all have biases and we all fall for various logical fallacies at times.  And since no one seems to teach critical thinking, society seems to be falling for more and more of these.  But Trump followers notwithstanding, “negativity bias” is especially insidious.  

“It can lead to ruminative thoughts that interfere with our productivity, and it can impact our bodies by stimulating inflammatory mechanisms that lead to chronic illness and accelerate aging.”  (That sentence sounds better when said with an English accent in my head.  Try it and I think you’ll agree). 

Sure, those aren’t my words, they are from the article.  But it’s saying, negativity bias can literally kill us.   Instead of me giving my dime-store analysis on negativity bias, I encourage you to read the article linked below.  It is absent any kink (sorry you pervs), but has real-world application to everyone, especially kinksters who may sometimes have negative thoughts about their proclivities.

I do want to add this comment though – I consider myself very self-compassionate.  Sure, I tease myself about different things.  Did you know my boobs are saggy?  Yeah, I’ve never mentioned it, except maybe once or a hundred times.  hee-hee.  Anyway, my favorite line of this article is that self-compassion spurs positive adjustment in the face of regrets.

I think my Domestic Discipline journey has been all about positive adjustments in the face of regrets.  In fact, being spanked is in many ways a positive adjustment in the face of regret.    Yeah, I just connected self-compassion with allowing my husband to spank me.  {Mic drop}.

Okay, enough from me.  I strongly encourage you to check out this article.

Next: 300. Don da da don! 300th post – and it’s Intense!

 

5 thoughts on “299. PSA – Stop Being so Hard on Yourself”

  1. The New York Times article you shared about “Why You Should Stop Being So Hard on Yourself” is thought provoking. I believe there’s a lot to be said for being grateful for each and every day, including the difficult days along with the good ones.: The sayings noted in the article: “Who is wise? He that learns from everyone” and “Who is powerful? He that governs his passions.” are a challenge worth trying to live by…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think about all the people who have been part of my life. Some were very negative while others always seemed to have a smile on their faces. The negative people weren’t very popular because people don’t want to be around negativity. On the other hand those who were always so positive were really popular.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Every now and then, you just have to get off the merry-go-round and get your bearings and, depending on what you’ve been up to, there’s lots of bias that one must be aware of so you can see if any of it is affecting you and, if necessary, negate the negativity.

    “Positive adjustments in the face of regrets” – I need some time to think about this so I can get a better feel for it…

    Liked by 2 people

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