287. Times Up for my Time Out!


Wow.  What a break!  Over two months??

I didn’t plan on it, it just sort of happened.  I decided to take a self-imposed time out that I thought would be maybe two weeks, — but two months?  Two things happened that I hadn’t planned on, both wrapped around the fact that my “sub” life has been pretty normal (as in, my version of normal, perhaps not yours, hee-hee).   

I had something happen that caused me to shun my computer and all things social media – from my blog, to Facebook, Twitter, even email.  You name it, I didn’t want anything to do with it unless it was IRL.   I won’t get into the details (not that they are private, but they are likely uninteresting and don’t directly involve me).   I will share that they involved a niece of mind and involved me diving deep into the underworld of trolls.  The result was I felt disgusted and spiteful over the ignorance and hate that is out there.  It is so clear that so many people are lacking basic critical thinking skills and will fall for any assertion that is full of 
fallacies.  I guess it shouldn’t be that shocking given Trump’s success is built upon the ease at which people fall for such things.   I digress. 

The result was I just felt “dirty” using the internet.  My self-indulgent blog was just another example of the me-ism and self-centeredness.   And yes, a blog where one talks about themselves is of course, self indulgent and self-centered.  I get that.  But instead of release, joy, and fulfillment, the thought of it made me ill.  So I unplugged from Twitter, Facebook, my blog, my emails, my computer, and actually just used my phone as, well, as a phone!  Okay, I did text with friends and family, but it was very “transactional” in nature, if that makes sense. 

Then, came event #2, even more traumatic than the first.   My dad passed away.  It seems a bit odd to not lead with that, as if it somehow was secondary in importance.  It was not, it was simply the second event that led to my absence.   I plan on a post dedicated to what my dad meant to me.  

He had fought off two other cancer scares in the past, but the third proved to be too much, and he thankfully went very quickly.   While we were given maybe three months, he lasted only a little more than one.   The swiftness was aided by his readiness, and as shocking and unexpected as it was, his last month was peaceful and loving.  In that way, it was very fortunate – for him, and for us.  

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my mom, and thus not only my mind, but my time, was not focused on my blog or social media in general.   I have started to want to blog again.  Not that I have much going on, but I do find it comforting and fulfilling.  I am beginning to miss it. 

Family wise things are going well.  My submission remains in sort of auto-pilot.  Yes, I am disciplined when needed, but nothing transformational has occurred.  No new revelations about myself or my submission.   Our family is beginning to focus on new beginnings  – in five months J will be out of high school and Kayla will have finished grad school.  We have begun talking about what life hold
s for us after those events.  We may even be moving.  No rush on any of those decisions, but it is exciting to know that we are in a position to dream, knowing that those dreams are all within our grasp (okay, minus the maid, chef, private jet, etc).   Hum..okay, to restate. . . knowing those dreams are restrained only by our financial resources.   

Here’s to living your dreams in 2019!

12 thoughts on “287. Times Up for my Time Out!”

  1. Sorry for you loss, and I understand the need to unplug sometimes. I moved away from Facebook not long after we started our D/s dynamic, mainly because I was suddenly highly aware of the utter ridiculousness of it.

    I wish you and your family a wonderful new year 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. Though as you said his passing did not linger and that alone is a Blessing. Surely he is resting in peace. May you and your loved ones have a Happy and Healthy New Year!


  3. Hi
    I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. However it was good to hear it was a relatively good last month. You are a very cool person and I’m sure your father had great influence on who and what you are. That being said, I think it safe to extrapolate and say he was a good man who was fair, open, kind and yet had a strong will and backbone! Welcome back and I hope to see more of you as the new year begins! May 2019 lead to greater things and much happiness for both you and your family!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It is really strange as I was thinking of you today and realised that I had not seen a post in quite a while. I have found that sometimes wordpress will throw me out of following blogs that I want to follow so was about to check when up you popped. It is nice to see you back and I hope to read more about you in the coming weeks. Happy new year when it comes 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Welcome back Jenny. My sincere condolences regarding your Dad. We lost ours a year ago. And just to confirm to my siblings that I have lost my mind I had the plaque for the urn made but got his birthday wrong. Never live it down.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sounds like their robbing of you is all in fun and love, and not in ridicule and hate. Makes for a funny story that adds a smile to an otherwise somber occasion. If it makes you feel better, i only know realized i had his middle name wrong my entire life. He had a family nickname that i thought was his middle name. I never questioned it at any point in my life. Come to find out the middle name he had wasn’t the one i thought he had! Thank you for the welcome back and for sharing.


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