In addition to my lady problems I wrote of in my prior post, I recently had further proof that time, and aging, marches on. Yes, I had a birthday. I am 49. Mike’s birthday is just 13 days from mine – he turned the big 5-0!
NOT A WHORE!
Yeah, that term was a bit much. I meant it somewhat jokingly, but it is an accurate description. Mike wasn’t amused. He felt it sounded trashy on my part, and nefarious on his part. He felt that it was disrespectful to him and to me to characterize it the way I did. Yes, I was spanked because of it. At least he didn’t tell me I had to take it down or edit it.
While I accept his decision and understand his perception of it, it wasn’t just a spanking and that was that. We did talk about it quite a bit. I shared with him that I was not bothered by the phrase, and I asked him if he felt I should be? What it came down for Mike was that “whoring” in his mind infers a transfer of payment. It further infers a debasement for some nefarious motive on his part.
NOT A WHORE?
Once again, this shows how powerful words are and how words can mean different things to different people. Mike is correct that this term means all of those things, at least in a more traditional or strict sense. But my intention in choosing those words was to be more playful. I also wanted to own the word that most people are probably thinking in their minds. I don’t mind thinking of myself as Mike’s whore. Lastly, I did leave it up to you, the reader, to decide. After all, I did put a question mark after it. (Whoring me out?). Mike was unimpressed with my explanation, thus the spanking.
IF NOT, THEN WHAT?
Before I was spanked, we talked about what term might best describe his control over my sexual activities. Not that we care about labels. It was more a communication exercise to get us both to understand each other’s points of view.
The best word we could come up with was, “exploiting,” in that, he is exploiting me. And like many words, it too has different meanings.
There is the positive– “to make full use of and derive a benefit.” I relate to that and I’ve made it clear with Mike I want him to feel comfortable “exploiting” our Sexual Obedience clause. In that context, the word works perfectly.
There is the negative – “to use in an unfair or selfish way, or to benefit unfairly.” Some might say that is exactly what is going on. But nothing with my submission is unfair (Posts 136 and Post 202 address “fairness”). A Dom is not inherently unfair or selfish. In fact, a good Dom is quite the opposite.
IT’S UP TO YOU!
So, “exploiting” is not the ideal term either. Suggestions?
I am interested if any of you have suggestions. I know I am risking getting some nasty or potentially demeaning suggestions, but hey, I’ve already use the term “whore.” Clearly, I am not threatened by whatever term you use. In fact, I am game for any raunchy, nasty, demeaning terms you can think of. Maybe there are some funny terms you can invent by combining certain words? Be creative!
Well, what do you know? My respite from posting hasn’t improved my proclivity to ramble. The silver lining is you will get a another post from me soon where I will share some Immersion fun.
Here’s a little tease — it involved John, Donna, and Matt. No surprise there. But it also involved a new couple! So with Mike, Kayla, and me, that made for eight of us!!