I am surprised someone hasn’t made a coffee table book from internet search terms. (I did find this, and while interesting, isn’t what I had in mind. While I don’t have access to any search term repository, I do have access to what WordPress provides me on the search terms used to lead someone to my blog.
I thought I’d share some of the humorous ones.
Whistling butt plug.
I envision this kink includes requests, such as, “Can you play Freebird? No, how about Yankee Doodle Dandee?”
Punish wife’s tits and breasts
Oh no, not both the tits AND breasts.
Desperate bladder punishment
Bladder punishment isn’t enough, it must be DESPERATE. And how exactly do you punish the bladder? I get it, it’s about holding in pee, but still, they chose to search that term instead of say, holding your pee?
Punishment wife doggy spank
Call PETA! Don’t spank your dog to punish your wife. Or is it about using the dog as a spanking implement? Either way, that’s animal cruelty.
Naked girl hanging by nipple clamps
Well, isn’t that special? I wonder if this person was disappointed. I went ahead and searched it and yeah, plenty of nipple clamp pictures, even some intense tugging…but did this person really expect to find girls hanging by them?
Hummmmm, there were several others that included my name. I assume a coincidence – but it made me wonder, do people fetishize names? Like, it gets you off even more to imagine the person has a particular name? Anyway, in case you wonder about my anal style – it’s penis’, small plugs/toys, and occasional enema. TMI?
Spanking helps need for attention
If this was kink related, the search only yields parenting advice on not spanking kids. And I can think of a lot of other, less painful ways, to get my husband’s attention.
How to give very hard spankings
Um, I may be going out on a limb here, because it’s complicated, but maybe, just maybe, try striking harder?
Christian domestic discipline fiction
“Writing lines” spanked discipline
…um, writing line in quotes, as if it is code for something else? (update: Doh! All these years of being on the internet and I just now learned that using quotes in a search term help narrow the search by looking specifically for those words!)
How to punish my submissive wife’s breasts
There we go. Very to the point. Nice search term. And my blog is the first two results on Google! Oh my!
Shaving party porn
Who would have thunk it? I actually did a post on this!! I didn’t know it was a “thing.”
I scold my bras all the time.
And it appears some of these searches aren’t from spankos, but perhaps women seeking DD or husbands dealing with a wife who wants DD? Here are some of those:
Vanilla wife wants discipline
Guess what bud? She ain’t vanilla no more!
Will husband spanking me help marriage
Maybe not marriage as in institution, but as for your specific marriage, yes of course! Hee hee.
Here are several that were straightforward, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it appears some women at least entertain the thought of submission or DD:
Can spanking make me better wife. Accepting discipline from husband. How to be more submissive. Can domestic discipline save my marriage. Can spanking feel good. Can I be submissive and feminist
Happy searching and happy kink!