Things are getting somewhat back into a normal routine. It won’t last because as Christmas approaches, our middle son, T2, will be home for the holidays. That will put a kink in our kink!
THIS — A COMING OUT (sort of)
Mike and I did share a bit of our lifestyle with our kids and, when appropriate, with anyone else we mingled with over the Thanksgiving. It was high level information. Basically that I decided to defer more to their dad, allow him to be more of the decider of things, and stuff like that. Nothing negative about it. Growing up they were accustomed to me being more of the domineering one, so it isn’t like there is any kink attached to who the primarily leader or follower is in a marriage. It just so happens there is a lot of kink attached to ours, but, we left that part out – Ha!
The change was surprising to them, but they were fine with it. They didn’t even ask too many questions of me. Basically I just said this is how I choose to be, and they were like, “Okay, Mom.”
We also told them that Kayla has decided to follow my lead and also look to Mike for guidance and she too is extending the same “respect” to Mike that I do – such as addressing him as “Sir.” My middle one who is always quick to share what’s on his mind said, “Is it just her respect that she is extending to Dad?” To which I calmly replied, “I am not sure what you mean, but whatever she extends or doesn’t extend is between your dad, me, and Kayla.” I think they all understood that there was more going on, but for once my inquisitive son got the hint and decided not to inquire further. I think part of it is that they just don’t want to know. Regardless how old you get, you never think of your parents as having any sex life, especially an adventurous one.
THAT — KAYLA AND MICHAUD UPDATE
I mentioned in my last post that the two of them have had sex. So far their relationship seems to be going well. I am not sure what to make of Michaud’s acceptance of her relationship with us. I mean, it’s great he accepts it. I would much rather he accept it than not. But a part of me wonders what type of person would accept it? It has to be tough to know you have a girlfriend who won’t open up and share certain parts of herself with you. And not only exclude you from certain parts of herself, but at the same time is including someone else in those parts. In many ways he is sharing Kayla with us, especially with Mike. That has to be hard.
I wonder if it is hard on Kayla too? She says she is happy with how things have progressed thus far. She sees her relationship with us as very distinct and separate from Michaud. She does not defer to Michaud any more or less than he defers to her. It is a very “normal” relationship, as she puts it, where neither one of them is dominant. That’s how she wants it. She says there is the “submissive” Kayla and the “non-submissive” Kayla and she loves both of them.
I did ask her what she would do if she had to make a choice. She said she doesn’t want to have to do that, but right now, her needs for submission trump her other needs. But she admits that could change over time. She just hopes that any changes can go smoothly without anyone being hurt. We continue to be very supportive of her and made it clear she is not obligated to stay with us. Of course we want her to stay, but we understand there could come a day where she feels it is best to move on, whether in whole or in part.
Michaud passed a big test in Kayla’s eyes (and mine too) when she was naked in front of him and she had a bruised bottom. It wasn’t a huge bruise, but a bruise none-the-less. Kayla said she didn’t try to hide it and told him to go ahead and take a close look at it. She shared with him how she felt about it (which were all positive feelings) and used the opportunity to again share with him what being submissive means to her. She said it was a good conversation and Michaud asked a lot of questions, never getting upset or animated by her answers. She even told him there may be times she has bruises elsewhere, such as on her breasts or thighs. She doesn’t get bruises often, but she wanted him to be prepared and deal with his concerns now versus later.
After they talked she ended it with asking him how he was feeling about being with her. He told her he loved her and while she is a bit “out there” when it comes to what she needs in life, he is happy that he can fulfill and experience whatever part she is looking to share. He did say that it all does make him feel a bit awkward and insecure at times, but he is trying. And with that Kayla told him how much she loves him and hates that a part of her makes him feel that way. She told him she loves him for allowing her to get fulfillment in whatever way she desires it, even if that means it was with someone else.
He did ask the inevitable question of, “Will it always be like this?” To which she said, “I don’t know. I don’t know what ‘always’ even looks like. I just know what I need from life right now. And I need my submissive life with Mike and Jen, and I need you and I am so happy you allow me to have both. If we reach a point you aren’t happy with me having both, or I am not happy with both, then we owe it to each other to talk about it, but until then, let’s keep enjoying this.” And from all appearances, they are.
SOME OTHER STUFF – THE NEW KAYLA AS A GIRLFRIEND
Kayla shared with Mike and I that her relationship with Michaud is unlike any she has ever had. Not because of Michaud, although that is a big part of it, but because of her. She really is a different person than she was in any previous relationship. She said she is more open and honest with what is on her mind, what she is feeling, what she is needing. She has never articulated it so clearly and so frequently than she has with Michaud. She says it feels liberating. No hidden agenda, no unsaid concerns or unresolved emotions. She’s just 100% “out there” with him and it feels amazing that he accepts it.
She only hopes Michaud is doing the same on being open and honest. It sounds like he is not shy to share whatever doubts or needs for information that he has. How he is reconciling her answers may not be clear, but I think it is a good sign that he isn’t shying away from asking questions
SOME OTHER STUFF – OH SUBMISSION!
With the passing of Mike’s mom and Thanksgiving, I went two weeks without a spanking. This time it wasn’t the spanking I missed as much as my overall routine. But I also missed the sensations.
One night when Mike and I were having sex I asked him to squeeze my nipples really hard, harder, harder. I then asked for nipple clamps. Mike obliged both with the nipple suckers first, then the clamps. It felt so good to “feel the burn.”
Mike will sometimes slap my breasts when we have sex, but that too needed to be harder this time. I asked him to slap them harder, and harder still. It was much like the intensity of a punishment.
This was different for us in a way, but not really. Our sex play can get pretty physical. This was just more than our usual physicality. I’ve shared before that I don’t mix discipline with sex. This wasn’t discipline. It was more about mixing a little pain with the sex, not about mixing sex with the pain. There is a difference. I can’t explain it. Maybe it is self-explanatory? Anyway, it felt good. I needed that sensation. I needed that dominance from Mike. I needed that submission.