Relationships can be complicated, and the more people involved, the more complicated they may become.
I wrote about Michaud, one of Kayla’s friends, in Post 179. Kayla’s Social Life. Their friendship has progressed a bit in the last week. Friday (three days ago from this writing), Michaud walked Kayla to her car when they left school together. As she simply put it, they “made out a little” before she got in the car. That evening Kayla sat Mike and I down to share this news.
Kayla was nervous when she told us. She was worried that one or both of us would be upset with her. We reassured her we were not. We are happy for her and want to support her. We don’t have any firm “relationship” rules. In the past when the topic has been discussed we told Kayla we hoped she wouldn’t hesitate to seek outside relationships if she found someone she liked.
So, here we are. Lot’s of questions we have to answer for ourselves as a trio. HOWEVER, right now Michaud doesn’t know about Kayla’s relationship with Mike and I, other than she lives with us.
We all agreed that she needs to tell him as soon as possible before things progress. Kayla said she had dropped some hints but he never really “bit” on them so she didn’t reveal more. She didn’t want to just blurt it out. For instance, he commented once on her “necklace” and she said, “Oh, that’s my collar, I feel so good wearing it.” She thought he would ask why, or question why she calls it a collar. Instead he just said, “That’s nice, it looks good on you.”
He has told her that she lives with us. On a few occasions when they would attempt to plan something together she would say, “I need to check with Mike.” Nothing. No reaction. No questions. Clearly he is not the inquisitive type. She is going to have to be blunt and straightforward with him. We all agreed that, assuming he doesn’t bail on her, we shouldn’t assume he will ask a lot of questions. Thus, Kayla may need to be prepared in how she explains things to him.
CHANGES TO OUR DYNAMIC?
The first question Mike had of Kayla was, assuming Michaud didn’t freak, what was her desires regarding any changes in our dynamic? Kayla was adamant that she didn’t want anything to change. She wants to continue to be submissive to Mike, be disciplined by Mike, and continue “as usual” with us.
Mike followed, “If you present it to Michaud as a ‘take it or leave it’ proposition regarding continuing on with us ‘as usual,’ are you prepared for him to want to cut off your friendship?” She said she was, but didn’t think it would be that dramatic. She figures her disclosure may cause him to avoid a romantic relationship with her, but he would remain friendly – continue to hang out and study together. We told her that may be unrealistic and don’t be surprised if this is the last meaningful conversation they have. That saddened her but she understands this is a possibility, however remote in her mind.
WHAT TO SAY?
Kayla said she would tell him that she is poly and in a relationship with us. She will go on to tell Michaud that while she is attracted to him and wants to have a relationship with him, he must accept that she will continue her existing relationship. If he flips out, then that’s that.
If he doesn’t freak out, then she plans to then tell him about the D/s. If it gets to this, she plans to tell him that Mike is her Dom and that too will not change. If he still hasn’t bailed at this point, then she will answer his questions, assuming he has any, and see where things go from there.
Mike didn’t have other questions of Kayla, but did make one demand. He told her “Assuming he doesn’t freak out, I don’t want you to have sex with him until the three of us talk again. And I mean absolutely nothing outside of a kiss. Once you come back and report to us how things went, the three of us will talk about how we should proceed.”
“Yes, Sir,” said Kayla.
Mike then asked me if I had questions or comments. I reiterated to Kayla that we support her and hope it works out the way she hopes it will. I also shared Mike’s concerns that we have more issues to resolve if their relationship is to move forward. Safe-sex, how do we determine STD free, and stuff like that. I then asked Mike what his thoughts are if Michaud asked about “joining in” on our dynamic in some way.
DON’T COMPLICATION OUR LIFE
Mike said he wouldn’t rule anything out, except it would take pretty ‘extreme and unique” circumstances for him to even consider that. He feels our “thing” is working well, and adding anyone to it just risks “complicating and upsetting the apple cart.” He again brought up that this is why he wanted us to ““slow down”” regarding our FetLife adventures. He added, “Exploring and experimenting is fun, but has its’ dangers and we have explored and experimented plenty.”
Mike ended it with “It serves no purpose to even entertain anything beyond Kayla figuring out just how compatible she is with Michaud. She can’t do that if we insert ourselves in their relationship. Our dynamic will make it tough enough for their relationship to grow. We don’t need to make it even harder on them.”
KAYLA EARNS A SPANKING
Mike asked Kayla if she had questions of us. It was funny, in a D/s sort of way, in that she again questioned if he was really okay with her possibly pursuing a relationship with Michaud.
Mike responded, “I answered your questions once already. So you must think I was lying when I answered it. Stand up and bend over young lady.”
“Yes, Sir,” Kayla did as she was told.
ANY QUESTIONS? (said in the best David S. Pumpkins voice)
After her spanking, Mike again asked her if she had any questions. She didn’t, but did make a statement that I thought was very nice. She told Mike that she is HIS submissive and she will end any relationship with anyone if he orders her to do so. She added that she would do so not only out of respect for his role as her Dom, but because she respects his judgement. She said she would always comply with his demands, even if she didn’t agree, because she knows his decisions are based on what he believes is best for her.
This prompted Mike to tell her that he has no reason to distrust her judgement. He has been impressed with her relationships with all her friends. He is impressed with how she handles herself as his submissive and he has immense respect and love for her. He said he will always discuss any concerns he has. Further, he intends to give her an opportunity to address those concerns before issuing an edict on ending things with Michaud or anyone else.
Kayla appeared pleased by the conversation and admittedly a bit apprehensive about her pending talk with Michaud. In addition to being attracted to him, she enjoys him has a friend. It concerns her that she may lose him as a friend.
We’ll see where this goes. Kayla will be talking to Michaud today.