Time and Money. Spanking and Discipline. Can they mix? You bet!
I was reading various blogs and was inspired to share how Mike and I address these two topics.
- Time – the timeliness of being disciplined.
- Money – how one manages it in a D/s relationship.I will address “Time” in this post and “Money” in the next.
These seemingly mundane topics must be addressed in every D/s relationship. Of course, the money issue needs to be addressed whether or not the relationship registers anywhere on the kink-spectrum. Let’s start with the timeliness of discipline
I don’t remember which blog I was reading (sorry if was yours) but it mentioned the subs desire to be disciplined soon after their disobedience. Understandable. It went on to say their Dom should create a statute of limitations such that if she couldn’t be disciplined within a specific amount of time, then there would be no discipline. I don’t believe she was fully serious and was just venting frustration over delayed discipline, but the point is still valid.
DELAY = MORE
Mike and I addressed delayed punishments in our current Contract. Our current contract has an expectation that Discipline will occur promptly and neither party will do anything to unnecessarily cause a delay. Our 2015 Contract specified that delayed punishments would be cause for more severe discipline as I should not ever put Mike in the position of not being able to promptly discipline me. In other words, misbehaving in public could warrant more significant discipline. We didn’t specify this in our current agreement; however, all discipline is at Mike’s discretion and it is understood that delayed punishments still carry stiffer disciplinary action.
From a submissive mindset perspective, I like our approach of having greater consequences for delayed punishments. After all, I should not put Mike in such a position to have to delay my discipline. It helps me since the discipline may be far removed from my actual disobedience, yet, recognizing it as being disciplined due to the DELAY helps to better connect it to my disobedience. Make sense? Maybe not. It’s a sub thing.
As the timing of misbehavior is not always convenient, it takes a committed Dom to want to stick to timely discipline. Mike has made it clear he will always seek to administer discipline as quickly as possible. He will leave a function, or movie, a store, or whatever we happen to be doing, in order to administer discipline as timely as possible.
The simplest way Mike minimizes delay in my discipline is to seek a private spot in which to spank me. A family restroom or any restroom with a lock will do, or, a quick trip to the car often will suffice. We developed a “car routine” that works well when I need to be promptly spanked.
There’s been a few times where Mike has pulled into a gas station and spanked me with his belt in the bathroom. We know of one chain of stations that typically has a pair of single stall unisex bathrooms with a lock. Perfect! The only downside is these bathrooms are like echo chambers – at least they are typically in the back of the store!
Mike even pulled over on the side of the road one time. He had me get in the backseat and then he spanked me. I had to stay naked in the backseat the rest of the way home. It was at night and it helps that our windows are tinted. When we had to stop at lights I am sure people could have seen in.
THE RIGHT TOOLS
Mike has this nondescript piece of wood. It is 17 inches long, three-quarters of an inch thick, and 2.5 inches wide. We think it is pine, but not sure. He doesn’t remember where it came from, only that he came across it in our backyard shed. Since it isn’t shaped like a paddle, it can stay in the car without causing the need to have to explain other than, “Huh, I am no sure why that’s in there.” It also fits under the seat, out of sight.
The beauty of it (if you want to call it that) is that it packs a solid impact without much back swing. It is easy to administer in the car where room is limited. It also allows for a hard spanking without a lot of whacks, thus can be very quick, yet effective. I get into the back seat, pull down my pants, Mike takes a quick look around to make sure no one is walking by, then he quickly spanks me. Taa-daa, timely discipline!
Discipline delayed is discipline denied!