A rare second post on the same day! Life is good!
More in my series of posts regarding our ongoing Contract renegotiation. This covers the review Mike and I had of our Maintenance Sessions.
I want to revisit why these sessions are important to me before I get into sharing the changes Mike wants. I cover it way back on Post 10, but simply put, they are an important part of “maintaining” my submissive mindset and serve to “calibrate” Mike’s dominance with my submissiveness.
I think that second point is a bit unique in this dynamic as it provides me an opportunity to get clarification from Mike or respectfully share changes I want. Note that any critique I give of Mike is never framed about “I wish you would have…” or “I wish you would not have…” It is always framed as, “Next time I would like…” Open, honest feedback, free from coming across as disrespectful makes sure that Mike and I remain calibrated regarding our needs, desires, and various aspects of our dynamic. Knowing I still have a strong voice helps me accept a situation I may not particularly like as I know I will have an opportunity to discuss it with Mike at our next session.
We have Maintenance Sessions on Sunday evenings. Mike added a mini-session on Thursday (Post 137) that was originally planned as temporary or as-needed. Mike now wants them to be permanent.
These were added about six months ago as shared in Post 137, and revised a bit as shared in Post 148. They were intended as temporary measures but Mike wants them to be permanent. They came about to provide me “added focus and additional release” and Mike said the recent “tea incident” solidified his belief these should be permanent.
These are brief sessions where I share any non-submissive thoughts I had (which I write in my journal). Even if not necessarily a violation of a rule, it gives me an opportunity to share with him the time and event surrounding these thoughts. This can help him further help me in ways to maintain a submissive mindset. These sessions start and end with a 5 hard with a cane and 5 hard with the prison strap. While only 5 strikes each, they are whoppers! I then get 30 minutes in the corner for reflection and he comes in, we embrace, and the session ends.
The Sunday sessions won’t change much. We mostly have these in the evenings but will try to sneak them in earlier when possible. Depends on football and what J is doing – if he is spending the afternoon at a cousins then we of course try and do it then.
Mike increased the number of maintenance spankings, which are done by hand, from 15 to 30, and changed the “ceremony” a little bit Basically it goes like this:
I get ready first and am naked in a submissive pose as he enters the bedroom. He will remain silent and sit down in a chair. Once seated, without any direction from him I rise, walk over, and lay over him so he can spank me. He gives me 30 by hand.
We both then get up and typically he takes me over to the edge of the bed where we sit, holding hands and facing each other. We have our dialogue where I share any concerns I have or desires for the coming week. Mike also discusses whatever is on his mind or specific requests for the coming week.
I present my journal for his review. He may take a lot of time reading it or give it a casual perusal. I have a section where I self-report any transgressions I had during the week that he may be unaware of. We decided it is best to handle self reporting this way instead of requiring me to always immediately self-report. There are times I still do immediately tell him, but it is not expected. The reason for this is he doesn’t want me to feel compelled to greet him with one or more things I did wrong. He feels that is a buzz kill of a greeting and would rather I just journal it and save it for Maintenance.
He then will spank me for any self reported transgressions or for any shortcomings of my journal (stuff like missing a day, messy writing, incomplete entries). Amount and intensity of spankings will vary depending on what he feels is warranted.
I then get “Reflection time. I must masturbate to climax and he may or may not stay and watch – up to him. If he stays, he leaves once I have had an orgasm. After orgasm I am to stay on the bed and relax in thought. I may even doze off. He returns in about 30 minutes.
I kneel in front of him and we exchange some contemporaneous words of commitment (akin to a mantra but what we say is whatever words come to mind). He then sits, and without instruction I again lay across him without saying a word and get the final 30 by hand. We then embrace until Mike calls the session over.
I believe on my next post I can wrap up recapping the remaining changes we are making, which include Hard Limits, condensing the prescribed disciplining measures, and some other various miscellaneous changes. We should have a new agreement ready to go by the 17th!