115. My Abundant Life

abundance

I’ve realized that I prefer to blog about things that have happened several days ago and/or have reached some sort of conclusion versus blogging as events unfold or where the implications are uncertain.  I think I am just more eager to share something once I have reconciled it in my mind.  I guess that’s why I tend to be upbeat in my posts (or at least think I am).  With some exception, I tend not to post during times of indecisiveness or worry.  The result is I tend to write when I have good feelings about resolved situations and optimism about the future.  Not sure what that says about me, but, it’s a pattern I’ve noticed with myself.  This is defintely one of those posts!  

OPEN MARRIAGE?
Anyway, I thought I’d post about Kayla but in a different way than before.  More about what she has meant to me and my relationship with Mike.. You could call our marriage an “open marriage” but that label is not entirely accurate.  I would call it “situational openness.”  Thus far the only situations where we have swapped partners or had sex with others or threesomes has been with John and Donna, and with Kayla.  We are completely comfortable with that and plan to continue, but no plans to expand that – but also not adverse to it if the right situation came up.  

Whatever you call this openness, we are new to it.  It hasn’t been six months since our first “swinging” foray with John and Donna, and of course, the stuff with Kayla is just since the end of last year.  So while it is new to us, it also seems so natural and old hat to us.

NEW ENERGY!  Spankings as recreation?
Having Kayla living with us has injected a new energy into an already energetic household and relationship.  It’s like the thrill of a shiny new toy, and we all are serving as each others plaything in one way or another.  Not just sexual, although that is a big part of it, but even in just conversations about every day things and in sharing more about our ourselves and life experiences.  

Kayla has injected a greater playfulness than Mike and I have.  She likes to role play and set up scenes and roleplays for us.  Like a choreographer, she sets the music and lighting, and will pick out the toys.  Sometimes it is just us being us, but often she will give us a general idea as to the roles, from teacher/student, to doctor/patient, to master/slave, etc.  It is really fun and something I know Mike and I wouldn’t do on our own.  Not because we are adverse to it, but, it just isn’t something we do – but we do now – with Kayla!

The “scene” thing is entirely new to us.  Except for some “punishment” play with John and Donna, Mike and I have kept spankings and what not exclusive to punishments.  These scenes with Kayla are new in that spanking, flogging, etc., are all just in play.  A very different sensation.  I can’t explain it, because it may be the same intensity, or perhaps not, but the body reacts very differently.  It is more self-indulgent and more sensual.  

WE ALL ARE BARE DOWN THERE!
Another playful thing she did was to shave Mike’s pubes!  Mike never went bare down there and she was encouraging him to give it a try.  She finally just took it upon herself and hopped in the shower with him, scissors, razor, and shaving cream in hand, and he finally relented.  I think it makes him look a bit funny – not sure what it is – perhaps I am preconditioned to think of hair as masculine, and seeing him bare down there is emasculating.  I know that is just a personal bias, but it is how I reacted.  I never said anything and told Mike I was happy with whatever he decided regarding keeping it or not.  In my mind I was sure I would grow to like it and just needed to get used to it.  Mike kept it shaved for a little more than a week and just started to let it grow back.   

KAYLA’S SEX DRIVE
Kayla also has a pretty large sexual appetite.  She admits she has never had so much sex as she has had in the last month or so.  A day doesn’t go by that she isn’t involved in at least two or three acts, and she hasn’t slowed down.  She really loves to perform oral sex.  While she likes to perform it on me, she really loves to perform it on Mike.  I’ve “caught” her giving head on many occasions. Anytime there isn’t anyone else home, I can pretty much count on running into Kayla on her knees with Mike’s cock in her mouth.  I’ve even been awaken in the middle of the night from movement on the bed, only to roll over and see Kayla down in the sheets going at it.  I am perfectly fine with all of this.  I am not possessive of Mike when it comes to sex.  I get plenty of love and attention and sex from him and I am not threatened by him enjoying himself sexually without me.  I actually get a thrill from it. 

Last weekend Kayla had anal sex for the first time.  She enjoyed it.  She had been practically begging for it and Mike was putting her off, just to tease her.  Well, tease no more.  It was nice to watch someone, especially someone you love, experiencing something new for the first time.  It went well, and has been repeated several times.

MIKE AND KAYLA TAKE A ROAD TRIP
Today Mike and Kayla left for Orlando.  Mike has a business meeting and Kayla is tagging along.  Although he just has one meeting tomorrow and could return home tomorrow night, they are staying tomorrow night and Friday night.  They’ll be back Saturday.  I know it is weird and a bit hard to admit, but, I love this.  Much like Mike’s date night with Donna (shared in Post 90), I get a thrill from this.  I enjoy knowing Mike is having the time of his life, living a fantasy of being like a king.  I couldn’t be happier to allow him that experience.  

WHAT’S UP WITH JOHN AND DONNA? 
Oh, on the subject of Donna, Kayla joined us one time over to John and Donna’s.   Kayla hasn’t had sex with all of us — would 5 qualify as an orgy?  Anyway, while no sex, there is a “topless” rule at their house that Kayla adheres to, so me, Donna, and Kayla remain topless at all times – of course, often Donna and I are completely naked.  Kayla watched but didn’t participate.  She just wanted to get a sense of what all went on before deciding what she may be interested in doing.  Thus far she indicated she isn’t interested in sex with them, but would like to participate in the scenes.  She showed a particular interest in the bondage horse and other accoutrements they have.   I am certain on her next visit she will be trying out some of their toys and be more involved, perhaps as a spankee or other object of attention, excluding sex with John or Donna.    We shall see. 

THE CANE!
I mentioned in my last post that we got a cane. It is rattan with a crook, like you would imagine belongs in an old school house.   Kayla wanted it.  Both of us have since been spanked with it.  Gee, thanks Kayla!  I don’t like it.  I much more prefer the flat spanking implements (hand is still my favorite) than the sting of the cane.  However, I will say I enjoy watching it used on Kayla.  I admit the stripes it makes does something for me.  It’s a turn on.  Kayla likes it, and says she prefers it to the paddles.  The downside is she can’t take as many with the cane as she can with a paddle so the experience, while more intense for her, is shorter. 

CHORES GALORE!
Let’s see, what else?  I am just trying to give you a full download of the various things that Kayla has added to my DD household.  Oh, the chores!  It is great to have a second set of hands to help out, and Kayla takes her cleaning responsibilities as serious as I do.  In fact, she takes all her “acts of service” seriously.  She is highly organized, even more than I am and that is tough to do.  She gets a lot of fulfillment out of all the things she does every day.  Of course, with two of us it has meant that we run out of things to do. When that has happened, one of us, or Mike, will then come up with something new for us to add to our lists.  I must say my house has never sparkled so much!  My pantry, closet, drawers, garage, kitchen – you name it, looks a bit like an anal retentive s dream.  Make that wet dream, given we typically do all our housework in the nude!   

SPANKINGS GALORE!
I mentioned in my last post that Mike is becoming a bit of a hard ass.  I say that lovingly and is something I have said to him in loving jest.  Part because Kayla asked for greater rules and structure, and part because Mike is growing into a Dominant mind set.  He doesn’t just limit his greater dominance to dealing with Kayla.  I’ve been spanked for things I would never have thought I would be spanked for.  The hangers aren’t all facing the same way in the closet, something wasn’t ironed well enough,  or heaven forbid, I used something other than a loving tone in responding to him.   Oh my god – I love it!   Yes, as crazy as it sounds, I enjoy this.  I enjoy it, Mike enjoys it, and Kayla enjoys it.  While there is a lot of work that goes into all of this, it is packaged in a tremendous amount of love and play.  

LIFE GALORE!
No matter what the dynamics of a household or your life is, life happens.  That means there will be highs and lows along the way.  I know we have had them and will continue to have them, no different from your life or anyone else’s.   And don’t think I never have doubts.  There have been evenings I’ve laid in bed after an unfulfilling day, with my nipples sore from the clamps that were applied that day, my ass throbbing from a spanking, and my body just tired from the busy day and I’ve thought, “What am I doing?”  

Doubts don’t concern me.  In fact, I would be concerned if I never had them.  But each time I do I find it is simply an opportunity to reaffirm my confidence and love for the choices I have made.  

While almost two years into adopting DD, I still love it, have no regrets, and remain excited about each day.  I love life, every moment, every day!  I am living a life of abundance!

NEXT:  116.  Revealing DD to my Sisters

 

 

 

114. Resist! And remain Kinky!

resistt

The Stanford Prison Experiment is a well-known experiment in psychology circles regarding the effects that power has on people.  I’ve always kept the results of this experiment in mind as it pertains to Mike and our journey into domestic discipline.  These thoughts were further top of mind as we added the dominant/submissive relationship with Kayla.  Increasing these thoughts even further was that Showtime has been running a movie about the experiment.  Also, although unrelated to my dynamic, this study has been top of mind because I wonder how power impacts a self-serving egomaniac.  No, not Mike, but our U.S. President…I digress.

The conclusion is simple.  Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  So knowing this, how do we avoid the corrupting influence that power has, even when that power is given to someone you love and trust without question, and who reciprocates that same love and trust?  No, not our U.S. President, I am talking about Mike!

I believe the answer is that you don’t, and you can’t.  It will happen.  It is human nature.  But, what you can do is be aware of it.  It comes back to the age-old solution for any relationship, regardless if the dynamic is vanilla or otherwise – communication.   You have to communicate limits and react in the strongest terms possible if those limits are breached.  If they are disregarded, then you do the only thing you can do and take the power back.  You must RESIST and speak truth to power!   Yes, I am talking about both Mike as well as our president.  I digress yet again.

In both cases if limits are breached you don’t validate the behaviors of those you have given power.  You don’t accept anything they do.  You resist.  Of course, if it is a loved one, it typically resolves itself quickly and you move on.  In the case of our president, it will only resolve itself by doing everything you can to delay and deny any actions they undertake, vote out all who support him in the mid-terms in two years, and then vote out him and the other supporters two years after.   Okay, I really digress!

The challenge with a loving D/s relationship is that it is hard to recognize when limits have been crossed.  Yes, some things are blatant, but, we can become desensitized over time to ever escalating dominance.  You love the person, you know they have the best intentions, and so you can easily discount and disregard inappropriate behavior, especially if it isn’t directed at you.  Sure, Trump has come for the Muslims, come for the scientists, come for the LBGTQ community, come for the federal judges, come for the animals (yes, read about what he is has done regarding animal testing), come for free speech, come for some people’s clean air and water (but not mine), and has come for the disabled (both in education and for those trying to get social security disability benefits).  But none of those he has come for is me.   

Sure, Trump has attacked the arts, attacked the media, attacked anyone who openly questions him.   But — none of those things are me.  While every speech and every press conference by his minions are filled with blatant lies (oh wait, “alternative facts”) that a six-year-old can fact check in a second, his lies haven’t impacted me.

So, meh! 

I hope you get the sarcasm.   Oh, sorry, got off track…it’s Mike I want to talk about.

It’s an interesting thing to be a part of it.  I have seen Mike exert more dominance, a dominance I have asked for, invited in, nurtured, craved, and supported.  Until recently Mike was being a Dom that was careful to carry out his dominance in a way that I explicitly prescribed, with perhaps just the occasional unexpected action on his part.  When we took on this lifestyle, he clearly adjusted to the things I asked for.  At my urging I have encouraged him to exert himself in ways that suited his needs and desires and that I welcomed the opportunity to be the one adjusting to those needs and desires.   Well, he has done so.  I must be honest and say there are things he does that I don’t particularly like or enjoy.  However, I am being equally honest when I say I get an even bigger thrill from the things I don’t like or enjoy.  I know that sounds oxymoronic (is that word? Well, it is now).   It is simply about the joy and satisfaction I get from being submissive and to truly submit to him, I should be submitting more directly to his needs and desires, and not just the needs and desires I have chosen to address. 

What are some of the things I don’t enjoy?   I don’t like the cane (oh, that can be another story, but, Kayla wanted a cane so we ordered one, and I hate it. Much prefer a paddle, brush, or some other flat spanking implement!).  I don’t enjoy my pussy being flogged or whipped, I don’t enjoy being tied up as punishment, and I don’t enjoy certain sexual acts being part of punishments.  Previously, sex and punishments were separate things – and while still not the norm, they aren’t always mutually exclusive.  I also am a bit alarmed by his treatment of Kayla, although Kayla appears to be thriving and wanting more.  Now don’t feel bad on my behalf.  I know I could stop these acts, but I don’t want to.  I like the idea that I am doing things for Mike to satisfy his desires and I like that he is expressing his desires.   I like these things more than I dislike the acts, and as long as that remains the case, the acts remain within my acceptable limits.  But I do dread these acts! 

To get back to my main point – I have noticed Mike is acting differently, much more authoritarian and with less patience.  I have seen his demands as well as the spankings and non-spanking punishments increase in frequency and intensity, both on me and on Kayla.  We’ve talked openly about this and he admits he likes the feeling he gets from being dominant, but also admits there is a line between being a good dom and being an a-hole, and he hopes not to cross it, however, he ended that with, “Concern noted, but I am not changing anything and you always have safe words to stop any of my actions, so it is on you to communicate your limits, not on me to guess where they are.”   For a nanosecond my mind said, “Oh, what an a-hole response.”  But the tingly feel-good feeling that followed a nanosecond later overwhelmed that thought.  I really like it when Mike is forceful and unapologetic with his feelings.  Such is the way a submissive thinks!

 And to be fair, along with Mike’s increase in dominant behaviors has come an increase in appreciation towards me and towards Kayla.  Mike has given us several “spa days” and other pampering’s, he even hired a maid service for a day so we could fully relax without worry of falling behind on any of our chores.  Yes, I know that statement will make some of you gag – I certainly would have pre-DD.     Just remember, I chose this lifestyle and I take my duties very seriously, so it is a big deal that I didn’t have to worry about falling behind on any chores.  Even if Mike gave me a pass regarding any punishments, I like to stay on schedule and get certain things done on certain days, so the maid service was something I truly appreciated.

I do not feel that Mike has been corrupted by the power I have freely given to him (yet), but the findings of the Stanford Experiment remain in the back of my mind.  As for our so-called president, well, his corrupted mind began long before he got the power of a president (I would say “presidential power” but there is nothing presidential about him). I digress. 

Oh, I mentioned before that Mike was going on a business trip out-of-town and taking Kayla with him.  That is in a few days.  I’ll talk about that in another post!

Resist. . .and remain Kinky!

NEXT: 115. My Abundant Life

 

 

.

 

113. Contemplation

thinker

Yes, I’ve been bad about posting.  I could name the usual “too busy” excuses but I find we make the time for what’s important, and to be honest, my blog has slipped on my priority list.

The enthusiasm I had to share my story has waned.  About nine or ten months ago my personal amazement along with my complete surprise with myself, my choices, and the results of those choices, all propelled me to share my story and continuing sharing as events unfolded.

Once I got the background of my story complete — all the way back on Post 13. Now What?, I mentioned that my goal was to share my approach to DD.   I also wrote that while I would share the occasional steamy details,  I didn’t intend to purposefully write erotically or for masturbation fodder.  I am happy if you found my writing to be either of those things – or both – but consider that a happy bonus!  It wasn’t my focus.

My life with Domestic Discipline has sort of evened out, hit a steady stride, or whatever you want to call it.  Simply put, it is just “my life” and not “my life with DD.”  This is a positive thing, as it means that my lifestyle is, well, normal!   Okay, at least normal for me.

My passion for living my lifestyle has not waned.  I am, however, less surprised or amazed by my antics.  And that lack of surprise and amazement makes it hard to blog.  I know there are many things that occur during the week that would continue to provide you with surprise, amazement, and shock, if not at least some general interest.  Add to that perhaps some sexual stimulation or at least fodder for your mind to wander to places you wouldn’t have thought to wonder otherwise.  Yes, sharing my life may do those things, but I have found I have a harder time identify those things, because it all seems so “normal” to me.

The things that aren’t normal have to do with Kayla which is why so many of my recent posts involve that relationship.  I could continue to share that stuff — it is very exciting, new, amazing, crazy, wild, titillating, you name it!   But, I feel that I am more sharing her story than mine.  Not that I don’t mind doing that, but I know she minds.  In her words, she is okay with being a “plot line” but she doesn’t want to be the main character.  If you read my many recent posts, she is definitely center stage!

So, I need to re-evaluate what I choose to share. More accurately, how I choose to share it. For instance, I was going to write about some fun things Kayla has come up with.  She is very adventurous and has staged some various “scenes” for us.  Mike and I never role played before, and it has been very fun.  But, I feel more compelled to share what I believe it means to Kayla, or what she experienced, more so than to share what it means to me and what I experienced.   In fairness to Kayla, I just can’t do that.  

I enjoy sharing, so will just have to figure out a way where I can both bring and received the same enthusiasm and excitement that I got from my first 100 or so posts.  I am sure it’ll come to me.  One thing I am anxious to share is how it goes with mycoming outto my sisters.  Haven’t done it yet, but expect it soon.  

Anyway, sorry for the boring post.  I just needed to share what’s rattling around in my brain instead of what’s being slapped on my ass!   Although, that reminded me….. hummm, maybe next time. 

NEXT:  114.  Resist! And Remain Kinky!