99. Be Here Now Slut – Eyes Wide Open

It’s been awhile since I’ve indulged in a somewhat esoteric ramble – the aptly named Post 67: An Esoteric Ramble or Post 81: Expectations.  You may not enjoy them, but I find them cathartic for me.

I’ve had a “boring” couple of days when compared to my run of excitement over the past month or so. No spankings, no wild sex, minimal nakedness about the house (due to too many people coming and going lately). My excitement binge is actually more than a month old – it dates back to starting this blog in April.   At that point my DD was just a year old. I thought that first year had a lot of twists and turns, but nothing like the last eight months. I think the blogging and the events over the last eight months are linked.

EYES WIDE OPEN
The blogging helped reinforce my trust and confidence in my decision to embrace a Domestic Discipline lifestyle. In turn, as I perused other blogs it introduced me to a wider community of kink – a community that was always there, but perhaps one that I was not inclined to explore previously.

Plenty of things happen to us that we aren’t prepared for; however, I believe the chances for new experiences greatly increase when we are most open to receiving them.

When we are open our vision is more acute – we see and recognize the opportunities that may have always been there but we just couldn’t recognize them before. We now not only see them, but we welcome them into our thoughts. Once in our thoughts we may still eventually dismiss them, but we are now that much closer to actually embracing them.

Since April I have been open to just about anything when it comes to exploring things with Mike – and of course a lot of that is sexual. That openness led to our relationship with John and Donna – friends we’ve known for years but now that relationship is more than “just friends.”  And of course this whole thing with Kayla that has dominated my recent posts. I am sure opportunities like there were out there before (perhaps not with those same people), but I was not open to them. That is why just a few years ago if someone told me I would have those types of relationships I would think they were crazy. Not only was I not “into” that, I couldn’t imagine anyone else would be.

WHY NOT DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE YEARS AGO?
Kayla asked me if I wished I embraced DD sooner.  That’s easy.  I have no sense of loss for not embracing DD sooner.   Simply put, my needs were different and my outlook was different.

For most of my life, what I sought and accepted as being fulfilling to me were things that are not conducive to submissiveness. In hindsight I might recognize some of those things were not as fulfilling as I believed them to be, but to me, regrets are a waste of energy. At the time there would have been no convincing me as I was living the lifestyle I accepted as right for me at that time.  No way would I have accepted DD.

I think I mentioned before, I am more “outcome” focused when musing about my life.   I choose not to waste much energy on the past. Whatever attention I give to the past is about how to make the “now” better, not play “what if” regarding events of the past. When you waste energy on the past it takes energy from your present. I want to fully “be here now” to address my “now” the best I can. I want to “be here now” for Mike, for my family, for all of those I love – including for myself.

At this moment in my life “being here now” is about being submissive to Mike and remaining open to all of life’s possibilities, sexual and otherwise. For me, love is happiness, sex is happiness, and submission is happiness. If a doctrine of happiness is considered self-indulgent and hedonistic, then I am guilty.   I am a “be here now” slut! 

Next: #100: Thank you Readers and Followers.