You’ll understand the image I chose when you read the post. It seemed to fit, except for one part of the quote. If there are any theorists of written discourse among you, perhaps you could enlighten me as to what Blair meant by “masculine.” I digress.
Hankerin’ for a Spankin’
With a lot of our attention (and my posts) on Kayla lately, it dawned on me that I haven’t been spanked in a while. I’d like to chalk it up to my impeccable ability to achieve all that I commit to. I’d like to chalk it up to that, but I can’t. Frankly, it’s been a combination of just being in a good groove and a bit of latitude by Mike.
Overall on a strictness scale I’d say Mike had been an 8-9 for some time now as I urged and encouraged him to be strict as I was seeking greater submission. However recently I’d put his strictness at about a 6. I am not stating this as a critique – it would be inappropriate for me to be scoring Sir on his choices of punishments. I don’t make it a practice of keeping “score” as it is completely up to him. I only share this as a way to convey to you, the reader, what I am feeling and experiencing regarding Sir’s strictness. I felt it necessary to clarify that in light of what this post is going to address.
I really enjoy my submissiveness and have grown to find a lot of satisfaction in structure and expectations, including being highly accountable to that structure in the form of punishments. I’ve evolved from just living a lifestyle of Domestic Discipline to living the lifestyle of a submissive. I have even wondered if I should change the name of my blog to reflect more about my life as a submissive vs DD? I digress again.
I spoke with Mike and he agreed he has been a bit lax and said he would remedy that. The reason for this post is to share a recent event where Mike took my request for greater strictness and applied it in an unexpected way. The result was a spanking and as part of the punishment he wanted me to post about it. Thus, the reason for this post.
I’ve been untruthful in my posts!
I’ve been untruthful!?! Okay, those are Mike’s words, at least how I heard them. In my words I sometimes simply “reorganize the facts” so as to more effectively convey what happened.
Here’s what happened.
Mike doesn’t regularly read my blog but will sit down and catch up in one reading. He recently did this and he made an observation.
What I heard Mike say was, “You’ve been untruthful in your posts!” This assertion really hurt me and my defenses immediately went on high alert. Pre-DD such an accusation would have certainly caused a big argument. While I didn’t yell or use profanity, I still lost it, at least on the scale that my DD rules would call “losing it.” Part of my response was, in a not so nice tone, “You’re crazy and you are wrong. I strive to be truthful at all times, including my blog. Name one thing that was not factual?”
Mike responded, “Whoa, watch the anger and sass!”
“Well SIR, if you dare to question my honesty you are going to get some sass. I am just defending what I believe to be true and am offended you think I’ve been untruthful.”
“Oh,” said Mike, “how dare I? So, I can’t calmly question you without you being offended? I didn’t question this in an accusatory way. I simply said I found that some of your posts embellished or told the story in a way that was different from how it occurred. We can have a calm discussion about it so I can better understand why, or you can argue. You chose that latter.”
Yes, he didn’t actually use the words, “You’ve been untruthful in your posts.” However, that is how I interpreted his words and thus reacted defensively. I apologized to him for overreacting and again said that such an accusation is so abhorrent to me that I couldn’t control my reaction. Mike said he would address this lack of control soon enough, but wanted to have a discussion about the blog first.
Mike went on to point out some various parts of different posts that were not “entirely accurate.” The specifics examples he gave aren’t important, but, yes, he was correct. Some of the things I post are not entirely accurate.
What? Untrue you say?
Yes, some events as I portrayed them were not precisely as they occurred – nor will they be in the future. I write to portray what happened as succinctly as possible – and if you read my posts, I probably am not as succinct as I could be. So here is my confession to you:
- Yes, I admit I don’t always recall the words verbatim. I do recall the impact of what was said, so I may choose words to more succinctly and accurately describe that impact.
- Yes I choose to omit parts of the exchange that I feel are not relevant to the event, emotion, or revelation that I wanted to share.
- Yes, I sometimes even change the order of events because it makes it more coherent for you, the reader.
- Yes, sometimes I add some of the “unspoken” things that I know were intended, otherwise, what I write could be confusing. There are times something gets said that is in reference to an earlier exchange. It is entirely unnecessary for me to share the entire earlier exchange just to give the reader the context for that reference. Instead, I’ll find a way to give that context within the dialogue I choose to write. It isn’t intended to mislead. It more effectively communicates my experience and it is my experience that I am wanting to share. Not a verbatim recitation of every second of a given experience.
- Yes, sometimes when I or someone speaks they may not articulate the full meaning in a given statement and I may rewrite that statement so that you can better understand the impact of what they said or did.
There is some artistic license that is necessary when sharing any story – and, this blog is about my perception of the world around me. Our perceptions will naturally filter certain elements of “the truth.” Two people can see, hear, or feel the same event differently. That doesn’t make them untruthful when they recount the event. Everything I state is truthful in that it reflects my reality. I believe as long as I am accurately describing the intent, emotions, reactions, or impact of a situation, I am being authentic, if not truthful. Come on, do I really remember every strike of the paddle, ever thrust of the penis? No, but I can convey those emotions in a way that allows you to better feel them as I did.
Much ado about nothing.
And what was Mike’s reaction after I was able to calmly explain myself in the manner I just explained it to you?
“Oh, okay. That makes sense.”
Doh! It was all much ado about nothing. Unfortunately, because I couldn’t control my temper and reacted the way I did, I still got a spanking. I accept that. One of my mantras is to seek to understand before being understood. If I would have simply taken the time to understand where Mike was coming from, I could have then given my explanation and this would have been an uneventful and soon forgotten conversation. Instead, it resulted in too many to count with the hairbrush! Ouchy! But delightfully so. It had been too long between spankings!
At least it gave me something to post about other than Kayla! My plan was to share the events of her first spanking – it is quite a story that needs no embellishing! Perhaps next time.
NEXT: 96. Kayla’s first. . .