41. Christmas in July. . . make that XXX-mas in July!)

Mike and I have picked up a few sex toys over the last year or so, but we are now going to be upgrading both our quality and quantity of assorted goodies.

Mike gave me a list of the types of things he wanted me to pick out.   He gave me a $500 budget and a list of categories and he left it up to me to choose the specific items that filled that category.  He wants me to have them all ordered by the end of the week.  What fun!!  

  • 1 full sized vibrator
  • 1 pocket sized vibrator
  • 1 dildo
  • 2 anal plugs
  • 2 new spanking implements, one firm (like wood), one flexible (like leather)
  • 1 pair of nipple clamps with chain
  • 1 other nipple-oriented toy
  • 1 set of cuffs/restraints
  • 2 types of cock rings
  • 2 other items of my choosing
  • If money left over, any additional items of my choosing.

I’ve been online going to a lot of sites trying to find the most interesting items, as well as reading a lot of reviews.  I have already ordered several but still have a ways to go.  I can’t wait to surprise him with what I am ordering.

Once I finished my order, I’ll come back to this post and add in the specific items I bought.

Oh, and we made room for these items by buying two new end tables for our bedroom that have nice sized compartments and locks!

The fun of shopping and the anticipation of it all is very stimulating!!

Next:  42-Asking for a Spanking.

Want to see how the shopping went?  See 43. . XXX-Mas Shopping Complete.

40. Kink in Routine / Reflections

A KINK IN OUR ROUTINE!
Ha. Not the kind of kink you were expecting — I’ve mentioned before that our Domestic Discipline lifestyle has been challenged a bit lately as our youngest it out of school and our middle child is home for a few weeks before returning to college for a summer semester.

It was a bit of a crazy adjustment as we went from our “normal” DD, to our M/s experiment, then to this modified DD as the kids are home. . .practically no more immediate punishments and only a few Prompt ones as well. Most all are Delayed until night time. (See my DD Contract re Immediate, Prompt and Delayed). Delayed ones are less gratifying for sure, and sometimes it isn’t practical to give multiple Rewards all at one time.  We’ve adjusted by having more non-spanking Rewards…getting sent to my room and I’ll have to do nipple clamps, breast bindings, and/or anal plugs for an extended period of time while I stand in the corner. This way I can lock the door, there is no noise, and Mike and I aren’t suspiciously locked in the room together for an extended period of time.   These type of punishments are uncomfortable, but I’d prefer a spanking. Spankings are more intimate and can be given more quickly.  Non-spanking punishments are typically a minimum of 30 minutes.   Oh well, the sacrifices we make for our children. Ha!

REFLECTION
We will have our Maintenance Session in about an hour and it has me in a reflective mood. I took the time to read back through all my posts. It was a great opportunity to get back into what was in my head throughout this journey, especially at the beginning.

I got into DD because I felt it would give me clarity and structure that was greatly lacking.   It did that, even better than I imagined it would. For about a year our DD slowly progressed, and then several things happened about the time I started blogging that put that progression in overdrive.   I think it was related to my blogging because the process of sharing and posting everything gave me a sense of acceptance. Even though there aren’t a ton of followers, and even if there were none, somehow my blog was like this declaration of who I am and what I want. In making that declaration, I was emboldened to try even more things.

However, as I went through this Subfrenzy, my appetite for greater submission actually created a distraction and lack of clarity. I was unclear where I wanted our DD to go, and focusing my energies on that was a distraction. I am happy to say that while I do love my submission, I no longer have that “frenzied” feeling. And our M/s experiment has helped draw in some boundaries. The best boundary that I’ve found is that I want to keep our DD focused on Mike and I. I only want him to spank me, and while I am open to sexual exploration with others, I always want Mike to be there. I need him to be a constant in everything I do. We can still do things with John and Donna, and others, but Mike must be there. I don’t want an M/s relationship, although we are adding a few things, such as the vocabulary, to our DD when our kids are not around. We’ve both found it to fun and I like the level of commitment it takes on my part. Just another form of submission.

Our DD has become highly sexualized, as I posted in here. I believe that is here to stay, and Mike and I are fine with that.   We look at is as a “bonus” as we both greatly enjoy all the sexual exploration we’ve had to date, and look forward to what is to come.   So, our DD continues, stronger than ever, with as much enjoyment as ever, as I continue to flourish under it.   It continues to accomplish all that I set out.

Next: XXX-mas in July

39. What’s in a name? A spanking!

If you read the comments on my post, Uggh!  Assistance with Activities of Daily Living, you will find that I slipped and used the real names of our neighbors, “John and Donna.”  I’ve since edited the post to reflect “John and Donna,” but her real name does appear in the comment.

One of the reasons Mike and I chose to use our real names was exactly for that reason.  It is too hard to remember a lie.  The truth is just easier.  But John and Donna asked for pseudonyms, so that’s what I use.  I’ve been very careful with this but I had a lot of free time yesterday and I quickly did several posts in a row and wasn’t careful enough.

I told Mike, and in turn had to tell John and Donna.  They weren’t too upset.  Their real names are common names, and we don’t maintain common friends.  Donna and I basically both have a set of friends from our husband’s workplace, and then we have each other’s friendship.  While we have each met extended family members before, it isn’t that tight of an interaction.  Add in the chances of reading my blog are extremely low, overall, they felt the breach of privacy is highly unlikely to amount to anything.   Thankfully they are supportive of my blog and like reading about themselves, sans their real name.  So they said it was okay to leave the comment that was posted using her real name, but they simply asked that I be more careful.  If only that could have been the end of it.

I knew right away that I would be punished for this, even though it isn’t specifically addressed as an infraction in our contact. However, Mike was quick to point out this was a Safety Transgression as I must not do things that increase the risk of injury to others, and a breach in someone’s privacy is injurious.  Mike did not end it with a typical Reward.  He said John and Donna would also apply a punishment and that I would go over to their house, alone, to receive it.

Our contract allows Mike the authority to determine any Reward and he can prescribe additional rewards at his discretion. In addition, I agreed I would never object to a Reward and would always allow it to occur. I could use our next Maintenance Session as a platform to express my displeasure. However, I always felt that if there was every something way outside the intent (my intent!) of the contract, I could object.

If you read the “Uggh…” post that started all of this, you will read that John did spank me during the immersion, but that was different. Mike was right there when it happened, and it happened in our house and at a time I was in a significant submissive state of mind. Plus it happened rather quickly, with no time to think about it.  While it felt odd to be spanked by someone other than Mike, it didn’t seem inappropriate or the least bit emotionally traumatic.

This time it was different. Mike told me I was that I was to go over to their house, immediately disrobe, not say anything unless they spoke to me, and accept “whatever punishment” they wanted to give me.  I was very intimidated, knowing their form of TTWD is more extreme (painful?) than ours.  I also did not have the feeling of safety that comes with being in my home, and especially felt more vulnerable since Mike was not going to be there. Mike assured me my safe words would be respected.  I had significant reservations, but I had never said no to a Reward before.

I think if this had happened pre-immersion, I would have said no, as nowhere does the contact provide for a third-party to punish me. However, I think the immersion has left me in a more submissive state of mind, plus, my trust in Mike has grown to be truly absolute, and I felt he would make sure whatever they did would be appropriate.  Lastly, I highly respect our Contract, and I agreed to never interfere in Mike’s judgement as to a proper Reward.  The exact wording of our Contract is, “If Jennifer feels a Reward was not in keeping with the intent or spirit of this Agreement, she is to say nothing at the time of the Reward and accept the Reward as given without complaint.”  It is only at our next Maintenance Session that I can address my concerns.

So, I did not object.

I am writing about this from a pretty raw emotional state as all of this happened just about an hour ago.  First, as our son was home, Mike took me to our bathroom as it is the farthest from the living room where our son was playing video games.  Our other son was out with friends. The volume was up a little louder than usual on the video game, plus Mike had the tv on in our room a little louder than usual, and finally, he had the water running in the bathroom sink – plenty of cover for any spanking.

He gave me 10 warm ups with his hand, then 15 very firm ones with the dreaded rubber paddle, then 10 more by hand.  None of our aftercare process was followed. He had me dress and immediately head over to John and Donna’s.

We prearranged the process I was to follow.  I entered John and Donna’s house on my own.  I disrobed at their door and walked into the living room and kneeled on the center of their couch, my back (and ass) facing forward.  Then I waited. The wait was nerve wracking.  I heard them walk into the room but could not see them.  I felt something touch, then lightly tap my ass, and I knew someone was simply lining up a paddle. “Whack!”  It stung right away.

Then, John spoke and asked me why I was there.  I said it was because I had a safety infraction as I put him and Donna at risk by exposing their real names in my blog.   John then said he was going to give me 7 more with this paddle, and then would hand it Donna.   The spankings felt different than what I was used to.  While I don’t think they were necessarily harder, they just didn’t feel as loving and respectful, thus were harder to take, if that even makes sense.   When he was done I could hear Donna stepping up.  Donna stayed silent while John said I needed to count hers out.  Whack!  “One.”

Hers actually seemed harder than John’s, but she gave a longer pause in-between.  Whack!  “Two”

I arrived there with an ass that was already a bit raw from the paddle Mike used, so these were really stinging.  I began to cry after about the third or fourth one from Donna.  It wasn’t the pain, but it was because these spankings felt extremely shameful to me. I could handle what I was feeling physically. I did not like was I was feeling emotionally.

Donna stopped at 7, so in total I got 15.  John told me to stay facing forward and avoid eye contact with them.  They said “all is forgiven” and instinctively I repeated “all is forgiven” just like the aftercare routine Mike and I have.  John said they would leave the room and in about a minute I could get up, get dressed, and go home, which is what I did.

I came home and luckily was able to go to my room without encountering our son as it was clear I had been crying.  Mike had told me that when I got home I was to go to our room and disrobe, ostensibly to await further punishment; however, Mike was already in the room and he could see I was distraught, so he told me to stay clothed.   He held me and said “All is forgiven,” and I repeated, “All is forgiven.”  That ended our Reward Ceremony.

At our Maintenance Session tomorrow I am going to express that I never want anyone but him giving me a Reward.  I hated it more than anything we have ever done since we’ve entered a Domestic Discipline lifestyle.  I wanted to find my boundaries.  I just found one.

NEXT:  40 Kink in Routine / Reflections