36. Vocabulary Lesson: Fetch the Rubber Paddle

It’s been hectic lately. With school out our youngest is home all day and our middle child is home for about two more weeks before he heads back for a summer session at college. We’ve had to modify our DD a bit. As I’ve said a few times before, TTWD can be inconvenient with kids around. Enough about that, let me get back to sharing our M/s immersion experiment.

In this post I will share my greatest challenge during the immersion. It isn’t what you would likely guess. It all had to do with vocabulary. Oh, by the way, I didn’t forget that I promised to share my most humbling and horrific experience from the immersion. I will share that on my next post. I need to build up the courage to share that, and think through how I can delicately address it.

So, the most challenging — Mike came up with some vocabulary rules for me. One of which is that I must acknowledge I heard whatever he last said. I do so by verbally answering, not just nodding my head.   My answer must refer to him as “Sir,” and I must rephrase or repeat what he said as a way of conveying I heard him completely. Only then could I add my response or answer to his question. I also had to speak clearly and confidently without hesitation.

It sounded something like this:

Mike: “Jen, I need a sandwich.”
Jen: “What kind would you like?”

Mike: “That’s one. Remember, how to properly phrase your responses to me.”
Jen: “Yes sir, you need a sandwich, what kind would you like?”

Mike: “That’s two. The last thing I stated was about how to properly phrase a response. It was not about my sandwich.”
Jen: “Yes, sir, I will remember how to properly phrase my responses to you.”

Mike: “Will you?  Well, that’s three because my last statement was not about telling you to remember anything, it was to point out that my prior statement was about how to properly phrase a response.”
Jen: “Yes sir, you were not telling me to remember anything, you were pointing out your statement about how to properly phrase a response.”

Mike: “Good girl, you got it right.”
Jen: Silence.

Mike: “That’s four. You failed to respond to what I said.
Jen (meekly): Yes sir.   That was four as I failed to respond. That you sir for acknowledging I got it right.

Mike: “Okay, but that’s five because you responded too softly. I must hear you clearly and hear conviction in what you say.”
Jen (boldly): “Yes sir, it is five. I must speak clearly.”

Mike: “About that sandwich”
Jen: “Yes sir, you would like a sandwich. What kind would you like me to make?”

Mike: “Ham and cheese with lettuce and tomatoes would be good.”
Jen: “Sir, shall I toast your bread?”

Mike: “That’s six.”
Jen: “Sorry Sir, yes, that’s six. Sir would like ham, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes. Would you like me to toast your bread, Sir?”

and so on!

There were many examples like this one, some went on a very long time where I would actually get up to “10” in one basic conversation.   I got better at it but it was not until about half way through the immersion that I actually got good at it.

Oh, and what did the “6” or “10” or whatever number refer to?  There were two punishments attached to that number. When Mike felt the particular exchange was concluded, he would have me fetch the “rubber paddle.” This was one of several new implements he ordered. I would bring it to him and he would immediately administer the number of swats that corresponded to whatever number of vocabulary infractions I had during that conversation.   We then had a paper posted on the refrigerator that kept a running tally of my vocabulary infractions (and when we went out, I carried a notepad to keep tally).   Each time I got to 10, he would then administer the Jumping Jacks of Doom.

We couldn’t continue this vocabulary rule into our daily life, but I am now in the habit of always calling him Sir when the kids aren’t around and out of habit I have even do so several times in front the kids. I had done it before in front of our youngest and he never commented or seemed to think anything of it, but our middle child did. I just chalked it up to being playful and silly (which is true, just not all the truth).

Oh, and I’ll comment about this rubber paddle. I hate it. It is odd.  The sting from it is not all that greater than other items, but it seems to have a longer lasting effect. The sting seems to stay around for quite a bit after the spanking. It makes my ass a bit raw and thus not only stings for longer, but if I get spanked again soon after, that spanking stings a whole lot more than usual, regardless of what implement is used.   I don’t know if this is due to the type of paddle, how Mike is using it, or just how my ass reacts to it. Whatever the reason, it is not a favorite of mine.

Next: 37. Uggh.  Assistance with Activities of Daily Living. 

 

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